I’m still not over Lex. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss my bratty boy. Or his morning biscuits. I’m trying to be there for Broadway as much as possible right now.

My comms are not open, so ignore my pin I just don’t wanna lose that post. I’m focusing on finishing what I have. If I can get outta my depressive funk and start churning them out regularly again I may open way down the line.

I’ll contact those I have to as I catch up, but I wont be posting for a while. You can post your finished comms, but I just need time, I don’t want the traffic in this time.

In all that time I haven’t drawn once. My only focus was Lex, and then getting him back. I’ll practice a lil before I get back into the swing of things and catch up. I don’t wanna talk to nobody, I’m grieving, and with that is so much anger and hurt. You don’t need that coming outta me at ya.

I have his ashes now. I can hold him again. But I don’t recognize myself. I didn’t really eat during all of this, just drank caffeine to stay awake for it all. I have no appetite still. Didn’t realize how hurt I was until I stopped moving. I’m really just recovering at the moment.

4-once I have my REGULAR monthly bills paid this month all should be good bc they all are due after what is owed is completed. My boss has thankfully given overtime and been feeding me since every penny went to bills, and things have worked in my favor thus far. Almost there guys. Almost free.

3-And that’s why I have to keep going back to combat it all. Also Lex still wont fucking eat, meaning I have to STILL take necessary trips back to care for him. So everyday is an all day trip, most spent on foot. It’s been a lot and I’m exhausted.

2-It’s not as simple as only going once unfortunately. But I basically have to pay half my bills TWICE in the same month, and they are the heavy hitters already. I already had an art queue so opted to making deals with the companies instead. Deals many didn’t adhere to

It's very sweet, and if anything flattering. But it does feel bad to break hearts. Please tell me this is just a tactic you've also experienced, bc if it's real that means I really am breaking hearts and that's super depressing. I'll have to find a way to not be appealing thru the phone. 😥

I'm CONVINCED it's a sale tactic but everyone I talk to about it says that's not their experience and I'm like WHAT?!

Like I was known to have a sultry voice as a gal so it made sense, but HRT changed that. So like, is it just ME? As in the personality bleeding thru my voice??? I'm so confused.

Lexington is also just barely beginning to eat as of 2 days ago. Micro amounts, but round the clock care still needed.

The last 2 bills were the heavy hitters, and don’t do late fees as far as I’m aware. So fml. I’m calling both to see what I can do but not expecting anything :/

Crossroads did. But used care credit for the hospital. It took ALL of carecredit and when I needed more was denied, so had to pay rest outta the bill money or basically surrender Lex. Crossroads will take my entire first paycheck this friday. All of it.