Thank you!

I'm not really sure what I want out of this. Probably just crashing out. I feel like I'm constantly going to explode

Y'all are valid but bleh.

Just as a disclaimer there is no point to be made writing this. I'm just , emotional. And I don't know how to fucking manage my emotions because life sucks. And I wish keeping myself informed didn't make me think we're just hopeless because I only see problems no solutions that work.

Dealing with antis , introduced some trama to me. I can't say I miss it. But bruh. It was at least manageable because only termanly online people really new what the fuck was up.
Fuck this whole maga garbage. Antis definitely contributed indirectly. I hate being an American.

There has been a lot happening , changes in culture. Unfortunately, I been traumatized long before these changes. But I remember a point , where I wasn't. And in fact I was too unself aware for my own good. This unfortunately is (probably) the reason I'm emotional now. The rose tinted glasses off

Maybe people aren't calm and they just are internal about it idk sometimes I just feel. Abnormal. I'm always too much both for myself and for others. I def am hyper aware I'm definitely a highly sensitive individual and it's... embarrassing in some ways

The problem ends up being I observe others their emotions are probably on the inside but mine are almost always on the outside. Im a chronic complainer. Always have been. Don't know how not to be. If my feet hurt I say it if I'm hungry I'm annoying about it. I don't mean to be but.

This is just with preference but I always thought facial hair/body for me was a turn off Especially on my own body. but also. It just my autistic ass can't stand the fucking sensitivity aspect of it. It is a sensory issue too when it's on me body It drives me crazy
.

Hate my body. But the only thing I can do is make myself hate it less
It's constant maintenance and it's tiring
while people make assumptions about me that I'm somehow trying to do it for some stupid agenda. Or I have to have the same stupid transition as everyone else

comments about it. Some people mean well but I do hate when people make general assumptions. "Oh heck yeah your facial hair is growing in. " When I am clearly miserable about it and am consistently shaving it. I am polite to them. stupid Italian genes and my thick ass hair. Sigh
Idk I'll always