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🎶🔥 FAMOUS SONGS WITH LYRICS WE ALL GET WRONG — WHAT’S OCCURRING, MUN?! 🔥🎶Welcome back to The Riff Report, where we lovingly ruin your favourite tunes by telling you what they actually mean. Strap in, butt — some of these are proper “WTF?!” moments.
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December 5, 2025 at 2:51 PM
If your Christmas playlist has been feeling a bit too polite, too cosy, not enough catsuits and falsetto shrieking… worry not, butt — The Darkness have arrived like glitter-covered elves armed with Flying Vs to save the season!
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December 5, 2025 at 2:40 PM
Alright butt, gather round the festive riff-filled fireplace because The Riff Report is officially launching the daftest, loudest, and most wholesome Christmas mission of 2025:

🎅 WE’RE TRYING TO GET OZZY OSBOURNE TO CHRISTMAS UK NUMBER 1 WITH MAMA, I’M COMING
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December 5, 2025 at 2:13 PM
How Do You Go From Three #1 Albums To… THAT?
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December 5, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Tidy philosophy for life, innit?
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December 5, 2025 at 1:47 PM
The Riff Report Tribute

The rock world woke up today to heartbreaking news: Justin Baren, former teen pop-rock star and bassist with that unmistakable vintage swagger, has died aged just 40. And c’mon butt… this one stings. Proper stings.
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December 5, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Well here we go once more unto the breach, fellow maggots.
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December 5, 2025 at 1:01 PM
— The Riff Report gets loud, honest, and slightly cheeky about Guns N’ Roses’ two new tracks and the curse of the ageing rock titan.

C’mon butt… grab a pint, shove your denim jacket on, and settle in.
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December 5, 2025 at 12:20 PM
What’s occurring, rockers? Grab a brew, grab a pasty, grab whatever comfort snack gets you through the absolute circus that is modern technology — because today’s internet meltdown deserves its own headline slot at Download Festival.
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December 5, 2025 at 11:21 AM
Well hello chaos, my old friend! Guns N’ Roses have only gone and shaken the rock world again by releasing TWO brand-new songs — “Nothin’” and “Atlas” — and honestly, butt… this is the most movement we’ve seen from GN’R since Axl sprinted across a stage in 1992.
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December 5, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Megadeth have thrown a nuclear sized curveball at the metal world — and no, it’s not another lineup change, butt.
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December 5, 2025 at 11:05 AM
C’mon butt… we were so close to having the most metal airport name on planet Earth — Ozzy Osbourne International Airport, complete with bats, black balloons, and a duty-free section selling nothing but eyeliner and crucifix jewellery. Tidy, right?
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December 5, 2025 at 10:17 AM
“I can’t wait to share it with thousands of my closest friends around the world,” says Dave Mustaine — LUSH MUN!
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December 5, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Hold onto your eyeliner, butt — The Damned have just unleashed a brand-new cover of a Pink Floyd classic, and it’s lifted straight from their upcoming album Not Like Everybody Else. And honestly? It SLAPS harder than a mosh pit at 2am in Pontypridd.
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December 5, 2025 at 9:48 AM
18 Dates. 2 Months. One Legend Stepping Back Into the Spotlight.

Strap in, butt — this one’s a monster.
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December 5, 2025 at 9:29 AM
💚🤘 MRF26 RETURNS — AND IT’S GONNA BE AN ABSOLUTE BELTER, MUN!
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December 4, 2025 at 10:48 AM
Grab a tissue and a stiff drink, butt — we’ve lost an absolute giant today. Steve Cropper, the groove-slinging guitar wizard behind Booker T. & the M.G.’s, Stax Records’ house band, and half your favourite soul riffs, has passed away aged 84.
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December 4, 2025 at 10:34 AM
What’s occurring, butt?! The Prince of Darkness just turned 77, and the fans went absolutely batsh*t brilliant with a tribute that would make even the demons of Birmingham wipe away a tear.
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December 4, 2025 at 9:52 AM
What’s occurring, butt?! Dan Byrne has only gone and dropped his Spotify Wrapped numbers… and tidy ones they are too! 😎🤘

The melodic-rock powerhouse racked up 281,000 listeners, 1.2 MILLION streams, 76,000+ hours, and reached 162 countries.
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December 4, 2025 at 8:48 AM
Massive Wagons are revving the engines, slamming the pedal to the floor, and blasting straight into album-launch season with enough power to melt the Barnoldswick Music and Arts Centre roof clean off. And honestly?
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December 3, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Massive Wagons are revving the engines, slamming the pedal to the floor, and blasting straight into album-launch season with enough power to melt the Barnoldswick Music and Arts Centre roof clean off. And honestly? We’re here for every sweaty, riff-soaked second of it.
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December 3, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Hold onto your studded belts and smear that eyeliner extra thick, because YUNGBLUD has just pulled off an achievement rarer than finding clean loos at Download Festival — the lad has hit #1 in BOTH the UK and the USA! 🤘🇬🇧🇺🇸

Proper global domination mode unlocked.
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December 3, 2025 at 5:45 PM
What’s occurring, butt?! The mighty Pinkpop Archive have only gone and dropped professionally-shot, pristine, HD footage of Metallica’s full 2008 Pinkpop Festival performance — and tidy as you like, it’s an absolute monster.
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December 3, 2025 at 5:19 PM
What’s occurring, butt?! Strap in, because the mighty Biffy Clyro are officially back in the creative bunker — and things are about to get weird, wonderful, and apparently… “much less Biffy.”

Yes, you read that right.
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December 3, 2025 at 5:05 PM
You ever see something so perfectly, stupidly brilliant that you just stop and go:“Yep… that’s the most Manchester thing I’ve ever witnessed”?Well tidy up your pint, butt, because this is it.
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December 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM