Yes, seek some professional support James, this is more than you should have to bear alone. Neither your wife's nor your son's responses are especially surprising or strange but the impact on you needs assessment, and may need an intervention. Just talking to someone will be a valuable step

A day at a time James, that's all you can do for now. Lots of great support and practical suggestions here, even if you only do one, you're doing something

Go along for an hour James, say hello to the people you know, lose yourself for a biy, then go home. If you don't go, you'll just spend the evening wondering whether it might have been fun. But don't stay all evening, spend some time at home where you can just be you, however that feels tomorrow

As others have said, feeling positive at all for a day is a real green shoot of hope. You need to nurture it carefully, and don't expect that it will grow overnight. Give it all time James. You've been through a lot. Early days

Sending a huge hug of love and support to you James. As cold comfort as that may feel right now, please believe the people here saying that there will be better times ahead.
Happy to chat anytime you want some friendship.
Btw, I LOVE your content!

The skeleton!! Hope you don't wake up in the middle of the night...!

Is it only on here or do I have to log on to X for the first, last and only time this year,?

Sharing with pets? I still haven't forgotten the one from a few years ago along the lines of "sharing with guinea pigs' hutch, straw for that authentic stable smell"