I actually do use Red One as a comp in my queries ( although I did start writing it long before the movie was a thing 😄). I’ll try a different version without the rhetorical question. Thanks for the feedback!

Thank you so much!

Great tagline!

Thanks for that. I’ll try breaking that part up and cleaning it up. I can also try a version flipped like you said.

Thanks. I did have it separated but I posted the older version by mistake.

A Christmas Story Christmas with grown up Ralph’s trying to publish his book.

You are the second person to tell me about that movie. I’m going to have to find it. But the actual orig idea was to mash up Die Hard and 24 lol. And no I’m not related to him but I love it when people know who that is.

A black nerd. I got feedback on that and started spelling it out so people wouldn’t be confused. I grabbed the wrong version 🤦

Yes the betrayal led to the occupation. And I have another version of this on that gives a brief glimpse of the aliens motivation. I’ll post that one in a bit.

Ooh that is intriguing. Like an evil faction wanting to claim the title and do all sorts of evil things with it. I dig it!

Thanks. I do have them in the original pitch. It’s MG adventure.

Thanks. And go for it! I personally love your mash up!