“White liquor makes me a little cunty” is incredible.

I just wanna talk to all my friends at night but they’re sleeping which is beautiful and I love to think about it.

“I just think that we evolutionarily know to not trust Bruce Greenwood’s face.” -my boyfriend

“Nipples are the eyes of the chest… Think about it.” -my boyfriend in an exaggeratedly deep voice

“I have 35 earring holes, I don’t care what you’re saying right now.” -my boyfriend, as Camryn Mannheim in Law & Order S23E7

Boyfriend: “And I’m not talking about your *book* David Copperfield, I’m talking about the *cool* one.”
Me: “You sure about tha—“
Boyfriend: “UH YEAH HE MADE A TRAIN DISAPPEAR.”

“Baby these are so crazy. Stick bugs. They look SO MUCH like a stick.” -my boyfriend

“I mean Pedro Pascal is 55, 60 pounds tops…” -my incredibly wrong boyfriend

Sometimes when it’s much too late at night I get - not a chance, not a moment - maybe it’s just the space, I get the space to be incredibly, poetically, grateful for my life. And I’m glad everyone’s asleep, but I wish someone were awake.

Jodie Turner-Smith for Bond. Like, obviously. Right?

*bar-goer about to do Welcome to the Jungle at karaoke*
My boyfriend: “They don’t even know this song like I know it. I used to do karate to this song! In 1993!”