my advice, never give your real information to EZ-Pass. I’m getting hourly calls and texts from random spam numbers, and have been for days now

also, if the name wasn’t taken, we’d absolutely call illinois, indiana, and ohio the middle east. to me, they’ve always been the mideast and always will be

the number of times i thought, “the fuck do you mean you have a veracious appetite? did you say ferocious?!”