Chops
@theoneandonlychops.bsky.social
Musician, Comedy Writer, Cooker of tasty things
I went out for BBQ and the waitress asked if I wanted "bone in".
I said "Whoa... I just want some ribs."
I said "Whoa... I just want some ribs."
June 29, 2025 at 5:00 PM
I went out for BBQ and the waitress asked if I wanted "bone in".
I said "Whoa... I just want some ribs."
I said "Whoa... I just want some ribs."
Here's hoping I don't run into any vampires today.
Fingers crossed...
Fingers crossed...
June 17, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Here's hoping I don't run into any vampires today.
Fingers crossed...
Fingers crossed...
The only natural enemy of the Care Bear?
The I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck Duck
The I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck Duck
June 3, 2025 at 5:33 AM
The only natural enemy of the Care Bear?
The I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck Duck
The I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck Duck
Feel free to share...
May 21, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Feel free to share...
My old boss sent me 144 emails and I ignored all of them.
He fired me for gross negligence.
He fired me for gross negligence.
May 20, 2025 at 5:45 PM
My old boss sent me 144 emails and I ignored all of them.
He fired me for gross negligence.
He fired me for gross negligence.
I went out on a booze cruise and apparently I got a little crazy and violated the rules.
The captain took me to the rear of the boat and gave me a stern lecture.
The captain took me to the rear of the boat and gave me a stern lecture.
May 18, 2025 at 3:17 PM
I went out on a booze cruise and apparently I got a little crazy and violated the rules.
The captain took me to the rear of the boat and gave me a stern lecture.
The captain took me to the rear of the boat and gave me a stern lecture.
My friend is trying to get pregnant by a sperm donor.
She hasn't had much luck, but I'm pulling for her.
She hasn't had much luck, but I'm pulling for her.
May 17, 2025 at 9:00 PM
My friend is trying to get pregnant by a sperm donor.
She hasn't had much luck, but I'm pulling for her.
She hasn't had much luck, but I'm pulling for her.
I had to report to H.R. this morning regarding something I inappropriately did during a meeting.
I think I misunderstood the meaning of debriefing.
I think I misunderstood the meaning of debriefing.
May 16, 2025 at 6:55 PM
I had to report to H.R. this morning regarding something I inappropriately did during a meeting.
I think I misunderstood the meaning of debriefing.
I think I misunderstood the meaning of debriefing.
I like to listen to reggae music about Rastafari, but sometimes the singing is repetitive.
They seem to babble on...
They seem to babble on...
May 13, 2025 at 6:54 PM
I like to listen to reggae music about Rastafari, but sometimes the singing is repetitive.
They seem to babble on...
They seem to babble on...
Is this real? Who knows?
May 12, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Is this real? Who knows?
Chops' What The Duck? Reggae Reggae Flatbread Pizza
Red D'Anjou pears and Moulard Duck Bacon on a Reggae Reggae Sauced flatbread smothered with Asadero, Provolone, & Australian cheddar.
Red D'Anjou pears and Moulard Duck Bacon on a Reggae Reggae Sauced flatbread smothered with Asadero, Provolone, & Australian cheddar.
May 11, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Chops' What The Duck? Reggae Reggae Flatbread Pizza
Red D'Anjou pears and Moulard Duck Bacon on a Reggae Reggae Sauced flatbread smothered with Asadero, Provolone, & Australian cheddar.
Red D'Anjou pears and Moulard Duck Bacon on a Reggae Reggae Sauced flatbread smothered with Asadero, Provolone, & Australian cheddar.
Once Upon A Child is an interesting name for a children's used clothing store.
It's a terrible answer to the question "Have you ever vomited in public?".
It's a terrible answer to the question "Have you ever vomited in public?".
May 7, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Once Upon A Child is an interesting name for a children's used clothing store.
It's a terrible answer to the question "Have you ever vomited in public?".
It's a terrible answer to the question "Have you ever vomited in public?".
I have an obsession with getting the brakes on my car changed every week.
Some of my friends say it's an addiction, but I can stop anytime I want.
Some of my friends say it's an addiction, but I can stop anytime I want.
May 1, 2025 at 5:34 PM
I have an obsession with getting the brakes on my car changed every week.
Some of my friends say it's an addiction, but I can stop anytime I want.
Some of my friends say it's an addiction, but I can stop anytime I want.
Once during a mild earthquake, I mistakenly took a Viagra instead of a sleeping pill.
I was up all night with the shakes.
I was up all night with the shakes.
April 29, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Once during a mild earthquake, I mistakenly took a Viagra instead of a sleeping pill.
I was up all night with the shakes.
I was up all night with the shakes.
After years of having a dream to be a published author, I did my first book signing yesterday.
I mean, the police called it graffiti and the library banned me, but I had fun.
I mean, the police called it graffiti and the library banned me, but I had fun.
April 28, 2025 at 4:07 PM
After years of having a dream to be a published author, I did my first book signing yesterday.
I mean, the police called it graffiti and the library banned me, but I had fun.
I mean, the police called it graffiti and the library banned me, but I had fun.
I had to apologize to my friend who lives in the greater Manchester area in the UK.
I mistakenly assumed he was into drag because he told me he had a Wigan address.
I mistakenly assumed he was into drag because he told me he had a Wigan address.
April 27, 2025 at 4:40 PM
I had to apologize to my friend who lives in the greater Manchester area in the UK.
I mistakenly assumed he was into drag because he told me he had a Wigan address.
I mistakenly assumed he was into drag because he told me he had a Wigan address.
I was very tired when I got home from work so I thought I'd get some Ben & Jerry's and watch Netflix in my room.
Twenty minutes went by before I realized I was looking at my bedroom mirror and not a documentary about a guy with a huge penis who likes ice cream.
Twenty minutes went by before I realized I was looking at my bedroom mirror and not a documentary about a guy with a huge penis who likes ice cream.
April 25, 2025 at 11:27 PM
I was very tired when I got home from work so I thought I'd get some Ben & Jerry's and watch Netflix in my room.
Twenty minutes went by before I realized I was looking at my bedroom mirror and not a documentary about a guy with a huge penis who likes ice cream.
Twenty minutes went by before I realized I was looking at my bedroom mirror and not a documentary about a guy with a huge penis who likes ice cream.
Superman was at a bar drowning his sorrows when the bartender asked why he was so glum. He told him "I got caught cheating on Lois by sleeping with her sister Lucy."
The bartender responded with "Dude, you need to stay in your own Lane."
The bartender responded with "Dude, you need to stay in your own Lane."
April 24, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Superman was at a bar drowning his sorrows when the bartender asked why he was so glum. He told him "I got caught cheating on Lois by sleeping with her sister Lucy."
The bartender responded with "Dude, you need to stay in your own Lane."
The bartender responded with "Dude, you need to stay in your own Lane."
@phlaimeaux.bsky.social I've been a big fan of your comedy for years. There was someone you reminded me of, but I couldn't remember until this morning. A bear character from a Woody Woodpecker cartoon I loved as a kid.
April 23, 2025 at 1:25 PM
@phlaimeaux.bsky.social I've been a big fan of your comedy for years. There was someone you reminded me of, but I couldn't remember until this morning. A bear character from a Woody Woodpecker cartoon I loved as a kid.
My accountant has had a very expensive bout with constipation.
He tried to work it out with a pen, but couldn't budget.
He tried to work it out with a pen, but couldn't budget.
April 22, 2025 at 4:32 PM
My accountant has had a very expensive bout with constipation.
He tried to work it out with a pen, but couldn't budget.
He tried to work it out with a pen, but couldn't budget.