The Office
@theoffice.bsky.social
Daily quotes from your favorite sitcom.
“There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?”
Unofficial. Not affiliated with NBC.
“There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?”
Unofficial. Not affiliated with NBC.
“I miss the old Dunder Mifflin. Too much change is not a good thing. Ask the climate.”
– Michael
– Michael
July 20, 2023 at 1:52 PM
“I miss the old Dunder Mifflin. Too much change is not a good thing. Ask the climate.”
– Michael
– Michael
Erin: “Aw, a bird and a dog.”
Andy: “Yeah, well, it’s Snoopy and Woodstock.”
Erin: “You named them?”
Andy: “Uh, Charles Schulz did.”
Andy: “Yeah, well, it’s Snoopy and Woodstock.”
Erin: “You named them?”
Andy: “Uh, Charles Schulz did.”
July 19, 2023 at 1:43 PM
Erin: “Aw, a bird and a dog.”
Andy: “Yeah, well, it’s Snoopy and Woodstock.”
Erin: “You named them?”
Andy: “Uh, Charles Schulz did.”
Andy: “Yeah, well, it’s Snoopy and Woodstock.”
Erin: “You named them?”
Andy: “Uh, Charles Schulz did.”
“Had a very good thing going with David Wallace. He was a good guy. He was somebody I could trust.
Here he is. You can really see that he is okay taking a picture with me. Even though I was there for disciplinary reasons.”
– Michael
Here he is. You can really see that he is okay taking a picture with me. Even though I was there for disciplinary reasons.”
– Michael
July 18, 2023 at 1:24 PM
“Had a very good thing going with David Wallace. He was a good guy. He was somebody I could trust.
Here he is. You can really see that he is okay taking a picture with me. Even though I was there for disciplinary reasons.”
– Michael
Here he is. You can really see that he is okay taking a picture with me. Even though I was there for disciplinary reasons.”
– Michael
“We really don’t do a lot of weddings. We actually don’t play in public very often. We’re all really hoping that Pam’s wedding works out. This could be a turning point for the band.”
– Kevin
– Kevin
July 17, 2023 at 2:00 PM
“We really don’t do a lot of weddings. We actually don’t play in public very often. We’re all really hoping that Pam’s wedding works out. This could be a turning point for the band.”
– Kevin
– Kevin
Pam: “No, wait, come on. I—I didn’t miss a day. I came in early. I stayed late. And I doubled my sales last month.”
Andy: “Oh, really? From what, two to four?”
Pam (talking head): “Yep.”
Andy: “Oh, really? From what, two to four?”
Pam (talking head): “Yep.”
July 16, 2023 at 1:36 PM
Pam: “No, wait, come on. I—I didn’t miss a day. I came in early. I stayed late. And I doubled my sales last month.”
Andy: “Oh, really? From what, two to four?”
Pam (talking head): “Yep.”
Andy: “Oh, really? From what, two to four?”
Pam (talking head): “Yep.”
“I am Beyoncé always.”
– Michael
– Michael
July 15, 2023 at 12:47 PM
“I am Beyoncé always.”
– Michael
– Michael
Andy: “Oh, my gosh. You have the Dallas board game?”
Kevin: “Yeah. When I was a kid, I was on Dallas.”
Andy: “Really?”
Kevin: “Yeah. We missed our connecting flight, and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii. I was on heaven.”
Kevin: “Yeah. When I was a kid, I was on Dallas.”
Andy: “Really?”
Kevin: “Yeah. We missed our connecting flight, and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii. I was on heaven.”
July 14, 2023 at 1:28 PM
Andy: “Oh, my gosh. You have the Dallas board game?”
Kevin: “Yeah. When I was a kid, I was on Dallas.”
Andy: “Really?”
Kevin: “Yeah. We missed our connecting flight, and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii. I was on heaven.”
Kevin: “Yeah. When I was a kid, I was on Dallas.”
Andy: “Really?”
Kevin: “Yeah. We missed our connecting flight, and we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii. I was on heaven.”
“Town cars suck. A town car is something that a company sends when they’re in trouble. A limousine is something that a company sends when they have cause for celebration. And in this case, I think we are celebrating me.”
– Michael
– Michael
July 13, 2023 at 12:58 PM
“Town cars suck. A town car is something that a company sends when they’re in trouble. A limousine is something that a company sends when they have cause for celebration. And in this case, I think we are celebrating me.”
– Michael
– Michael
“The boat was actually plan C, the church was plan B, and plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her.”
– Jim
– Jim
July 12, 2023 at 1:41 PM
“The boat was actually plan C, the church was plan B, and plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Pretty much the day I met her.”
– Jim
– Jim
Pam: “W.B. Jones is renovating their offices, and their construction crews are taking up some of the parking spaces we used to get.”
Jim: “So we had to park at a satellite parking lot over there.”
…
Kevin: “I will quit. As god is my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed.”
Jim: “So we had to park at a satellite parking lot over there.”
…
Kevin: “I will quit. As god is my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed.”
July 11, 2023 at 2:17 PM
Pam: “W.B. Jones is renovating their offices, and their construction crews are taking up some of the parking spaces we used to get.”
Jim: “So we had to park at a satellite parking lot over there.”
…
Kevin: “I will quit. As god is my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed.”
Jim: “So we had to park at a satellite parking lot over there.”
…
Kevin: “I will quit. As god is my witness, I will quit if this is not fixed.”
“I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. And then I thought maybe by the time I was 40. But by 40, I had less money than when I was 30. Maybe by my 50s, I don’t know.”
– Michael
– Michael
July 10, 2023 at 1:25 PM
“I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. And then I thought maybe by the time I was 40. But by 40, I had less money than when I was 30. Maybe by my 50s, I don’t know.”
– Michael
– Michael
“Yeah, I’m not a temp anymore. I got Jim’s, uh, old job.
Which means, at my ten-year high school reunion, it will not say, ‘Ryan Howard is a temp.’ It will say, ‘Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm.’
That’ll show ‘em.”
– Ryan
Which means, at my ten-year high school reunion, it will not say, ‘Ryan Howard is a temp.’ It will say, ‘Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm.’
That’ll show ‘em.”
– Ryan
July 9, 2023 at 1:22 PM
“Yeah, I’m not a temp anymore. I got Jim’s, uh, old job.
Which means, at my ten-year high school reunion, it will not say, ‘Ryan Howard is a temp.’ It will say, ‘Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm.’
That’ll show ‘em.”
– Ryan
Which means, at my ten-year high school reunion, it will not say, ‘Ryan Howard is a temp.’ It will say, ‘Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm.’
That’ll show ‘em.”
– Ryan
“No more meetings! No more meetings! No more meetings! No more meetings!”
– Pam
– Pam
July 8, 2023 at 1:40 PM
“No more meetings! No more meetings! No more meetings! No more meetings!”
– Pam
– Pam
“I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater. But I kept waiting. Because that’s the thing about bear attacks—they come when you least expect it.”
– Dwight
– Dwight
July 7, 2023 at 1:28 PM
“I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater. But I kept waiting. Because that’s the thing about bear attacks—they come when you least expect it.”
– Dwight
– Dwight
Toby: “Didn’t you lose a lot of money on that other investment—the one from the email?”
Michael: “You know what, Toby, when the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?”
Michael: “You know what, Toby, when the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?”
July 6, 2023 at 1:59 PM
Toby: “Didn’t you lose a lot of money on that other investment—the one from the email?”
Michael: “You know what, Toby, when the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?”
Michael: “You know what, Toby, when the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?”
“My roommate wants to meet everybody.
Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.”
– Jim
Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.”
– Jim
July 5, 2023 at 1:01 PM
“My roommate wants to meet everybody.
Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.”
– Jim
Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.”
– Jim
“I am at a crucial point where I have sunk four hours into that copier. And I am not gonna let it beat me like that wireless router did.”
– Pam
– Pam
July 4, 2023 at 1:36 PM
“I am at a crucial point where I have sunk four hours into that copier. And I am not gonna let it beat me like that wireless router did.”
– Pam
– Pam
“You give me a gift—Bam! Thank you note.
You invite me somewhere—Pow! RSVP.
You do me a favor—Wham! Favor returned.
Do not test my politeness.”
– Andy
You invite me somewhere—Pow! RSVP.
You do me a favor—Wham! Favor returned.
Do not test my politeness.”
– Andy
July 3, 2023 at 1:08 PM
“You give me a gift—Bam! Thank you note.
You invite me somewhere—Pow! RSVP.
You do me a favor—Wham! Favor returned.
Do not test my politeness.”
– Andy
You invite me somewhere—Pow! RSVP.
You do me a favor—Wham! Favor returned.
Do not test my politeness.”
– Andy
“I’m not usually the butt of the joke. I’m usually the face of the joke.”
– Michael
– Michael
July 2, 2023 at 2:08 PM
“I’m not usually the butt of the joke. I’m usually the face of the joke.”
– Michael
– Michael
Ty: “They’re actually putting you out of business.”
Michael: “Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on. Ty, I would like you to crunch those numbers again.”
Ty: “It’s a program. There’s no such thing—“
Michael: “Just crunch ‘em. Just crunch ‘em please.”
Ty: “Crunch.”
Pam: “Did it help?”
Michael: “Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on. Ty, I would like you to crunch those numbers again.”
Ty: “It’s a program. There’s no such thing—“
Michael: “Just crunch ‘em. Just crunch ‘em please.”
Ty: “Crunch.”
Pam: “Did it help?”
July 1, 2023 at 1:27 PM
Ty: “They’re actually putting you out of business.”
Michael: “Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on. Ty, I would like you to crunch those numbers again.”
Ty: “It’s a program. There’s no such thing—“
Michael: “Just crunch ‘em. Just crunch ‘em please.”
Ty: “Crunch.”
Pam: “Did it help?”
Michael: “Okay, okay. Hold on, hold on. Ty, I would like you to crunch those numbers again.”
Ty: “It’s a program. There’s no such thing—“
Michael: “Just crunch ‘em. Just crunch ‘em please.”
Ty: “Crunch.”
Pam: “Did it help?”
Jim: “So Dwight heard you were having a really rough day, so he generously offered to wash our car.”
Pam: “Aww, he did that for me?”
Jim: “Yes, he did.”
Pam: “Aww, he did that for me?”
Jim: “Yes, he did.”
June 30, 2023 at 1:54 PM
Jim: “So Dwight heard you were having a really rough day, so he generously offered to wash our car.”
Pam: “Aww, he did that for me?”
Jim: “Yes, he did.”
Pam: “Aww, he did that for me?”
Jim: “Yes, he did.”
Michael: “Hi. I am Michael Scott. I am the captain of this party.”
Captain Jack: “I’m Captain Jack. I’m captain of the ship.”
Michael: “Ahh!”
Captain Jack: “I’m also captain of anyone who sets foot on the ship.”
Captain Jack: “I’m Captain Jack. I’m captain of the ship.”
Michael: “Ahh!”
Captain Jack: “I’m also captain of anyone who sets foot on the ship.”
June 29, 2023 at 1:59 PM
Michael: “Hi. I am Michael Scott. I am the captain of this party.”
Captain Jack: “I’m Captain Jack. I’m captain of the ship.”
Michael: “Ahh!”
Captain Jack: “I’m also captain of anyone who sets foot on the ship.”
Captain Jack: “I’m Captain Jack. I’m captain of the ship.”
Michael: “Ahh!”
Captain Jack: “I’m also captain of anyone who sets foot on the ship.”
“This day is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. This day is bananas. B-A-N-A …”
– Kelly
– Kelly
June 28, 2023 at 1:59 PM
“This day is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. This day is bananas. B-A-N-A …”
– Kelly
– Kelly
“I’ve been studying Michael for years, and I’ve condensed what I’ve learned into this chart—how Michael spends his time.
As you can see, we have procrastinating and distracting others, and this tiny sliver here is critical thinking. I made it bigger, so that you could see it.”
– Jim
As you can see, we have procrastinating and distracting others, and this tiny sliver here is critical thinking. I made it bigger, so that you could see it.”
– Jim
June 27, 2023 at 3:20 PM
“I’ve been studying Michael for years, and I’ve condensed what I’ve learned into this chart—how Michael spends his time.
As you can see, we have procrastinating and distracting others, and this tiny sliver here is critical thinking. I made it bigger, so that you could see it.”
– Jim
As you can see, we have procrastinating and distracting others, and this tiny sliver here is critical thinking. I made it bigger, so that you could see it.”
– Jim
Michael: “You wanna hear a lie?”
Toby: “What?”
Michael: “I think you’re great. You’re my best friend.”
Toby: “What?”
Michael: “I think you’re great. You’re my best friend.”
June 26, 2023 at 1:25 PM
Michael: “You wanna hear a lie?”
Toby: “What?”
Michael: “I think you’re great. You’re my best friend.”
Toby: “What?”
Michael: “I think you’re great. You’re my best friend.”