Alice Kathy Rockette
@theodragonic-5.bsky.social
bisexual trans female MtF, 28.
autistic, Asperger's Ginger.
please be kind very damaged, traumatized
autistic, Asperger's Ginger.
please be kind very damaged, traumatized
Pinned
Being "high-functioning" only means I have High-Cost Exhausted Survival Functioning Competence (HCESFC). My competence is real, but the cost is chronic burnout, anxiety, and being dismissed when I need support. I'm not lazy; I'm tired from surviving your neurotypical world. #ActuallyAutistic #Trans
What is comfort if everything hurts or is never quite comfortable enough? what if soft feels like sandpaper but on the soul? what if sandpaper becomes all you believe you deserve? being broken means many things. being fixed, likewise. but the energy to maintain or become worse/better is a challenge.
November 25, 2025 at 10:43 AM
What is comfort if everything hurts or is never quite comfortable enough? what if soft feels like sandpaper but on the soul? what if sandpaper becomes all you believe you deserve? being broken means many things. being fixed, likewise. but the energy to maintain or become worse/better is a challenge.
QR codes without context or explanation are knifes with no handle at all. you could wrap the blade in a towel, a makeshift handle it finding a replacement fitting handle. that's good for you. but others have been very much harmed by trusting the un handled blade won't pierce their skin if not worse
November 4, 2025 at 1:50 AM
QR codes without context or explanation are knifes with no handle at all. you could wrap the blade in a towel, a makeshift handle it finding a replacement fitting handle. that's good for you. but others have been very much harmed by trusting the un handled blade won't pierce their skin if not worse
HCESFC Defense: High Cost Exhausted Survival Functioning Competence. Stop confusing enforced competence w/ genuine wellness. Function Bc survival demands. my abilites are real, but it's paid for w/ chronic exhaustion and high cost. Understand the difference. #HCESFC #SurvivalCost #UnfilteredHonesty
November 2, 2025 at 1:35 AM
HCESFC Defense: High Cost Exhausted Survival Functioning Competence. Stop confusing enforced competence w/ genuine wellness. Function Bc survival demands. my abilites are real, but it's paid for w/ chronic exhaustion and high cost. Understand the difference. #HCESFC #SurvivalCost #UnfilteredHonesty
Boundary Collapse (Blurring lines between appropriate/shocking)
Permission to Cause Distress (Justification for pranks/bullying)
Trauma Gaslighting ("But it's Halloween" excuse)
Loss of Safety (Momentary suspension of social rules)
part 2 of what NTs deal with on 10/31
Permission to Cause Distress (Justification for pranks/bullying)
Trauma Gaslighting ("But it's Halloween" excuse)
Loss of Safety (Momentary suspension of social rules)
part 2 of what NTs deal with on 10/31
November 1, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Boundary Collapse (Blurring lines between appropriate/shocking)
Permission to Cause Distress (Justification for pranks/bullying)
Trauma Gaslighting ("But it's Halloween" excuse)
Loss of Safety (Momentary suspension of social rules)
part 2 of what NTs deal with on 10/31
Permission to Cause Distress (Justification for pranks/bullying)
Trauma Gaslighting ("But it's Halloween" excuse)
Loss of Safety (Momentary suspension of social rules)
part 2 of what NTs deal with on 10/31
Neurotypical (NT) Cultural Aggression (External Threat)
Routine Destruction (Prolonged saturation from commercialization)
Forced Consumption (Mandatory buying of décor/candy/costumes)
Unwanted Imagery (Horror saturation, disturbing visuals)
Routine Destruction (Prolonged saturation from commercialization)
Forced Consumption (Mandatory buying of décor/candy/costumes)
Unwanted Imagery (Horror saturation, disturbing visuals)
November 1, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Neurotypical (NT) Cultural Aggression (External Threat)
Routine Destruction (Prolonged saturation from commercialization)
Forced Consumption (Mandatory buying of décor/candy/costumes)
Unwanted Imagery (Horror saturation, disturbing visuals)
Routine Destruction (Prolonged saturation from commercialization)
Forced Consumption (Mandatory buying of décor/candy/costumes)
Unwanted Imagery (Horror saturation, disturbing visuals)
pt. 2 of ND issues with 10/31
Mandatory Performance (Forced cheerfulness/masking)
Unpredictable Interactions (High-speed, scripted small talk)
Executive Function Failure (Critical fatigue from masking/overload)
Mandatory Performance (Forced cheerfulness/masking)
Unpredictable Interactions (High-speed, scripted small talk)
Executive Function Failure (Critical fatigue from masking/overload)
November 1, 2025 at 2:30 PM
pt. 2 of ND issues with 10/31
Mandatory Performance (Forced cheerfulness/masking)
Unpredictable Interactions (High-speed, scripted small talk)
Executive Function Failure (Critical fatigue from masking/overload)
Mandatory Performance (Forced cheerfulness/masking)
Unpredictable Interactions (High-speed, scripted small talk)
Executive Function Failure (Critical fatigue from masking/overload)
Neurodivergent (ND) Stressors (Internal Cost)
Auditory Chaos (Loud, unpredictable sounds)
Visual Assault (Flashing lights, jarring sights)
Olfactory Overwhelm (Strong, artificial smells)
Tactile Disruption (Itchy, restrictive fabrics/costumes)
Routine Destruction (Schedules completely broken)
Auditory Chaos (Loud, unpredictable sounds)
Visual Assault (Flashing lights, jarring sights)
Olfactory Overwhelm (Strong, artificial smells)
Tactile Disruption (Itchy, restrictive fabrics/costumes)
Routine Destruction (Schedules completely broken)
November 1, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Neurodivergent (ND) Stressors (Internal Cost)
Auditory Chaos (Loud, unpredictable sounds)
Visual Assault (Flashing lights, jarring sights)
Olfactory Overwhelm (Strong, artificial smells)
Tactile Disruption (Itchy, restrictive fabrics/costumes)
Routine Destruction (Schedules completely broken)
Auditory Chaos (Loud, unpredictable sounds)
Visual Assault (Flashing lights, jarring sights)
Olfactory Overwhelm (Strong, artificial smells)
Tactile Disruption (Itchy, restrictive fabrics/costumes)
Routine Destruction (Schedules completely broken)
Authenticity is a choice for self-sovereignty, not a platitude for influence.
My truth isn't here to lead others through observation. It's here because silence is more agonizing. The high cost of being seen is for my survival, not your convenient inspiration.
#AuthenticSurvival #HCESFC #NoPlatitudes
My truth isn't here to lead others through observation. It's here because silence is more agonizing. The high cost of being seen is for my survival, not your convenient inspiration.
#AuthenticSurvival #HCESFC #NoPlatitudes
October 29, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Authenticity is a choice for self-sovereignty, not a platitude for influence.
My truth isn't here to lead others through observation. It's here because silence is more agonizing. The high cost of being seen is for my survival, not your convenient inspiration.
#AuthenticSurvival #HCESFC #NoPlatitudes
My truth isn't here to lead others through observation. It's here because silence is more agonizing. The high cost of being seen is for my survival, not your convenient inspiration.
#AuthenticSurvival #HCESFC #NoPlatitudes
AC & Heat: Self-regulation, human need.
When the dials aren't ours to adjust, we're denied basic comfort. Our unique temperature isn't wrong; it's a biological reality. Stop scolding our comfort level compared to what you think should be comfortable.
#ThermalAutonomy #SelfRegulation #Neurodiversity
When the dials aren't ours to adjust, we're denied basic comfort. Our unique temperature isn't wrong; it's a biological reality. Stop scolding our comfort level compared to what you think should be comfortable.
#ThermalAutonomy #SelfRegulation #Neurodiversity
October 29, 2025 at 12:15 AM
AC & Heat: Self-regulation, human need.
When the dials aren't ours to adjust, we're denied basic comfort. Our unique temperature isn't wrong; it's a biological reality. Stop scolding our comfort level compared to what you think should be comfortable.
#ThermalAutonomy #SelfRegulation #Neurodiversity
When the dials aren't ours to adjust, we're denied basic comfort. Our unique temperature isn't wrong; it's a biological reality. Stop scolding our comfort level compared to what you think should be comfortable.
#ThermalAutonomy #SelfRegulation #Neurodiversity
Constructive criticism is blocked by unmet survival needs. Mirred in&of restrictions.
NDs are neither droids nor golems to insist of sustained peak efficiency. We aren't flawless, but we are not quite Swiss cheese. Stop confusing burnout for a character flaw.
#HCESFC #NoPeakEfficiency #SurvivalNeeds
NDs are neither droids nor golems to insist of sustained peak efficiency. We aren't flawless, but we are not quite Swiss cheese. Stop confusing burnout for a character flaw.
#HCESFC #NoPeakEfficiency #SurvivalNeeds
October 28, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Constructive criticism is blocked by unmet survival needs. Mirred in&of restrictions.
NDs are neither droids nor golems to insist of sustained peak efficiency. We aren't flawless, but we are not quite Swiss cheese. Stop confusing burnout for a character flaw.
#HCESFC #NoPeakEfficiency #SurvivalNeeds
NDs are neither droids nor golems to insist of sustained peak efficiency. We aren't flawless, but we are not quite Swiss cheese. Stop confusing burnout for a character flaw.
#HCESFC #NoPeakEfficiency #SurvivalNeeds
When a game mirrors the anxiety of real life, it’s more burnout.
"Gamifying" progress is leisure for another arena where we're "not accomplishing enough." The ballroom of poisonous completion must end. Our value isn't tied to our achievement, even digital ones.
#GamingBurnout #HCESFC #LeisureAsRest
"Gamifying" progress is leisure for another arena where we're "not accomplishing enough." The ballroom of poisonous completion must end. Our value isn't tied to our achievement, even digital ones.
#GamingBurnout #HCESFC #LeisureAsRest
October 28, 2025 at 2:42 PM
When a game mirrors the anxiety of real life, it’s more burnout.
"Gamifying" progress is leisure for another arena where we're "not accomplishing enough." The ballroom of poisonous completion must end. Our value isn't tied to our achievement, even digital ones.
#GamingBurnout #HCESFC #LeisureAsRest
"Gamifying" progress is leisure for another arena where we're "not accomplishing enough." The ballroom of poisonous completion must end. Our value isn't tied to our achievement, even digital ones.
#GamingBurnout #HCESFC #LeisureAsRest
Halloween is the NT lie of conditional acceptance.
Being "different" is only acceptable when it's costumed performance. Don't glorify being ripped open for fun. Refusal to play along with the sensory violence & candy shame of your spooky month.
#NDHolidays #NoConditionalAcceptance #SensoryOverload
Being "different" is only acceptable when it's costumed performance. Don't glorify being ripped open for fun. Refusal to play along with the sensory violence & candy shame of your spooky month.
#NDHolidays #NoConditionalAcceptance #SensoryOverload
October 28, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Halloween is the NT lie of conditional acceptance.
Being "different" is only acceptable when it's costumed performance. Don't glorify being ripped open for fun. Refusal to play along with the sensory violence & candy shame of your spooky month.
#NDHolidays #NoConditionalAcceptance #SensoryOverload
Being "different" is only acceptable when it's costumed performance. Don't glorify being ripped open for fun. Refusal to play along with the sensory violence & candy shame of your spooky month.
#NDHolidays #NoConditionalAcceptance #SensoryOverload
Creativity is not synonymous with respected competence.
ND output is judged, past or present. Who holds the power to feed my creativity through a metal alloy mesh of hair follicle policing? We share and enjoy our work freely. Respect is not conditional on scrutiny.
#NDCreativity #NoJudgment #HCESFC
ND output is judged, past or present. Who holds the power to feed my creativity through a metal alloy mesh of hair follicle policing? We share and enjoy our work freely. Respect is not conditional on scrutiny.
#NDCreativity #NoJudgment #HCESFC
October 28, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Creativity is not synonymous with respected competence.
ND output is judged, past or present. Who holds the power to feed my creativity through a metal alloy mesh of hair follicle policing? We share and enjoy our work freely. Respect is not conditional on scrutiny.
#NDCreativity #NoJudgment #HCESFC
ND output is judged, past or present. Who holds the power to feed my creativity through a metal alloy mesh of hair follicle policing? We share and enjoy our work freely. Respect is not conditional on scrutiny.
#NDCreativity #NoJudgment #HCESFC
Comfort is subjective, not logical.
Who is "society" to use an optic lens to deny the miniscule pleasures one finds amidst the slurry soup of a noisy, overwhelming environment? My comfort doesn't need external validation. It's mine.
Math in Music,& likewise.
#SelfSovereignty #Neurodiversity #Comfort
Who is "society" to use an optic lens to deny the miniscule pleasures one finds amidst the slurry soup of a noisy, overwhelming environment? My comfort doesn't need external validation. It's mine.
Math in Music,& likewise.
#SelfSovereignty #Neurodiversity #Comfort
October 28, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Comfort is subjective, not logical.
Who is "society" to use an optic lens to deny the miniscule pleasures one finds amidst the slurry soup of a noisy, overwhelming environment? My comfort doesn't need external validation. It's mine.
Math in Music,& likewise.
#SelfSovereignty #Neurodiversity #Comfort
Who is "society" to use an optic lens to deny the miniscule pleasures one finds amidst the slurry soup of a noisy, overwhelming environment? My comfort doesn't need external validation. It's mine.
Math in Music,& likewise.
#SelfSovereignty #Neurodiversity #Comfort
Unacknowledged pain breeds fear.
When pain from one source causes another variety to bloom, the result is a flower shop of pain petals. But the worst variety is being made fearful of even vocalizing the hurt. Silence shouldn't be the most agonizing form of self-regulation.
#ChronicPain #TraumaRec
When pain from one source causes another variety to bloom, the result is a flower shop of pain petals. But the worst variety is being made fearful of even vocalizing the hurt. Silence shouldn't be the most agonizing form of self-regulation.
#ChronicPain #TraumaRec
October 28, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Unacknowledged pain breeds fear.
When pain from one source causes another variety to bloom, the result is a flower shop of pain petals. But the worst variety is being made fearful of even vocalizing the hurt. Silence shouldn't be the most agonizing form of self-regulation.
#ChronicPain #TraumaRec
When pain from one source causes another variety to bloom, the result is a flower shop of pain petals. But the worst variety is being made fearful of even vocalizing the hurt. Silence shouldn't be the most agonizing form of self-regulation.
#ChronicPain #TraumaRec
Lights&Sounds.
My eyes and ears have dimmer switches. Society only sees a binary ON or OFF.
We're falsely regulated by others who ignore the true intensity of sensory input. My need is for nuance, not monitoring. Stop ignoring the dial for a simple switch.
#SensoryRegulation #Neurodiversity #Control
My eyes and ears have dimmer switches. Society only sees a binary ON or OFF.
We're falsely regulated by others who ignore the true intensity of sensory input. My need is for nuance, not monitoring. Stop ignoring the dial for a simple switch.
#SensoryRegulation #Neurodiversity #Control
October 27, 2025 at 11:36 PM
Lights&Sounds.
My eyes and ears have dimmer switches. Society only sees a binary ON or OFF.
We're falsely regulated by others who ignore the true intensity of sensory input. My need is for nuance, not monitoring. Stop ignoring the dial for a simple switch.
#SensoryRegulation #Neurodiversity #Control
My eyes and ears have dimmer switches. Society only sees a binary ON or OFF.
We're falsely regulated by others who ignore the true intensity of sensory input. My need is for nuance, not monitoring. Stop ignoring the dial for a simple switch.
#SensoryRegulation #Neurodiversity #Control
Romanticizing ND is asking for just the meat,ignoring the bones.
You only want the palatable parts. You don't want the hazardous, unwanted, difficult core of my reality. My life isn't a simple dish. Stop asking me to de-bone my survival for your comfort.
#NeurodiversityIsMessy #HCESFC #AutismReality
You only want the palatable parts. You don't want the hazardous, unwanted, difficult core of my reality. My life isn't a simple dish. Stop asking me to de-bone my survival for your comfort.
#NeurodiversityIsMessy #HCESFC #AutismReality
October 27, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Romanticizing ND is asking for just the meat,ignoring the bones.
You only want the palatable parts. You don't want the hazardous, unwanted, difficult core of my reality. My life isn't a simple dish. Stop asking me to de-bone my survival for your comfort.
#NeurodiversityIsMessy #HCESFC #AutismReality
You only want the palatable parts. You don't want the hazardous, unwanted, difficult core of my reality. My life isn't a simple dish. Stop asking me to de-bone my survival for your comfort.
#NeurodiversityIsMessy #HCESFC #AutismReality
Bathroom usage shouldn't be a timed performance.
Unwritten rules for a basic need are a form of harmful surveillance. I need my privacy & my device. I need my autonomy to self-regulate, even in the bathroom. Timed functioning is not true competence.
#Privacy #Autonomy #SelfRegulation #Neurodiversity
Unwritten rules for a basic need are a form of harmful surveillance. I need my privacy & my device. I need my autonomy to self-regulate, even in the bathroom. Timed functioning is not true competence.
#Privacy #Autonomy #SelfRegulation #Neurodiversity
October 27, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Bathroom usage shouldn't be a timed performance.
Unwritten rules for a basic need are a form of harmful surveillance. I need my privacy & my device. I need my autonomy to self-regulate, even in the bathroom. Timed functioning is not true competence.
#Privacy #Autonomy #SelfRegulation #Neurodiversity
Unwritten rules for a basic need are a form of harmful surveillance. I need my privacy & my device. I need my autonomy to self-regulate, even in the bathroom. Timed functioning is not true competence.
#Privacy #Autonomy #SelfRegulation #Neurodiversity
My need to control my sensory environment is not a preference. It is a survival prerequisite against pain, overload, and biological crash. When you ignore it, you risk my ability to function. This is non-negotiable. Being called "Sentitive" does hurt.
#SensoryOverload #Neurodiversity #SurvivalNeeds
#SensoryOverload #Neurodiversity #SurvivalNeeds
October 27, 2025 at 10:28 PM
My need to control my sensory environment is not a preference. It is a survival prerequisite against pain, overload, and biological crash. When you ignore it, you risk my ability to function. This is non-negotiable. Being called "Sentitive" does hurt.
#SensoryOverload #Neurodiversity #SurvivalNeeds
#SensoryOverload #Neurodiversity #SurvivalNeeds
Masking is not a social skill. It's an unpaid social, mental & emotional debt that drains your internal metaphorical bank account. When I "pay" that debt by performing competence, the resulting biological crash is the late fee. My energy deficit is real.
#ActuallyAutistic #Masking #AutisticBurnout
#ActuallyAutistic #Masking #AutisticBurnout
October 27, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Masking is not a social skill. It's an unpaid social, mental & emotional debt that drains your internal metaphorical bank account. When I "pay" that debt by performing competence, the resulting biological crash is the late fee. My energy deficit is real.
#ActuallyAutistic #Masking #AutisticBurnout
#ActuallyAutistic #Masking #AutisticBurnout
Neurodivergent truth is not a debate over vocabulary.
When talk is about HCESFC, it's about the exhaustion of surviving judgment. Policing a survivor's language is another high cost on top of the survival functioning. Reservation for energy & support, not scrutiny.
#Neurodiversity #HCESFC #SafeSpace
When talk is about HCESFC, it's about the exhaustion of surviving judgment. Policing a survivor's language is another high cost on top of the survival functioning. Reservation for energy & support, not scrutiny.
#Neurodiversity #HCESFC #SafeSpace
October 27, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Neurodivergent truth is not a debate over vocabulary.
When talk is about HCESFC, it's about the exhaustion of surviving judgment. Policing a survivor's language is another high cost on top of the survival functioning. Reservation for energy & support, not scrutiny.
#Neurodiversity #HCESFC #SafeSpace
When talk is about HCESFC, it's about the exhaustion of surviving judgment. Policing a survivor's language is another high cost on top of the survival functioning. Reservation for energy & support, not scrutiny.
#Neurodiversity #HCESFC #SafeSpace
When preferences and choices are dictated, enforced, or shamed, the choice itself is rendered null. Decisions cease to be truly your own, whether in process or after the attempt. Pre- & post-judgments steal all self-autonomy. Choices should be chosen. #LostAgency #ReclaimYourChoice #TraumaRecovery
October 26, 2025 at 8:08 PM
When preferences and choices are dictated, enforced, or shamed, the choice itself is rendered null. Decisions cease to be truly your own, whether in process or after the attempt. Pre- & post-judgments steal all self-autonomy. Choices should be chosen. #LostAgency #ReclaimYourChoice #TraumaRecovery
For many of us diagnosed in the early 2000s,our initial labels are traumatic branding, treated like livestock. We retain that painful tag, too fearful of bureaucratic hoops to be re-diagnosed under a new, kinder understanding. The branding is the abuse. #HighFunctioning #AutismTrauma #Neurodiversity
October 26, 2025 at 7:54 PM
For many of us diagnosed in the early 2000s,our initial labels are traumatic branding, treated like livestock. We retain that painful tag, too fearful of bureaucratic hoops to be re-diagnosed under a new, kinder understanding. The branding is the abuse. #HighFunctioning #AutismTrauma #Neurodiversity
Differences between being brought & being dragged is my agency to move. If NTs' own subconscious fidgeting is normal, why is quiet, necessary self-regulation seen as problematic or scold-worthy? Stillness isn't calm; it's a suppressed cry for safety. #FidgetRights #SensorySuppression #Neurodiversity
October 26, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Differences between being brought & being dragged is my agency to move. If NTs' own subconscious fidgeting is normal, why is quiet, necessary self-regulation seen as problematic or scold-worthy? Stillness isn't calm; it's a suppressed cry for safety. #FidgetRights #SensorySuppression #Neurodiversity
Chasing clothing trends (FOMO) can mean splurging on new things. It's the clothes you mend and maintain that truly help you. They demand time, care, & loyalty. Like true friends, the connections that last are the ones you choose to heal and hold onto. #Neurodiversity #TrueFriendship #EmotionalLabor
October 26, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Chasing clothing trends (FOMO) can mean splurging on new things. It's the clothes you mend and maintain that truly help you. They demand time, care, & loyalty. Like true friends, the connections that last are the ones you choose to heal and hold onto. #Neurodiversity #TrueFriendship #EmotionalLabor