Miracle Max
@themiraclemax.bsky.social
You rush a miracle man, you get lousy miracles.
Count Rugen seems to have squeezed all the taxes he can from Florin and is tucking his tale and running back to his Pit of Despair. One look around shows his tenure has not be efficient at all. I've seen more capable governance from Screeching Eels.
April 30, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Count Rugen seems to have squeezed all the taxes he can from Florin and is tucking his tale and running back to his Pit of Despair. One look around shows his tenure has not be efficient at all. I've seen more capable governance from Screeching Eels.
Please don't elect me as Pope. That smoke you saw was an innocent kitchen fire. Valerie was trying her hand at cooking Pizza.
April 28, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Please don't elect me as Pope. That smoke you saw was an innocent kitchen fire. Valerie was trying her hand at cooking Pizza.
The judges over in Guilder have decided women are only women if they are born women. They have not met my wife Valerie who was born a witch.
April 16, 2025 at 12:49 PM
The judges over in Guilder have decided women are only women if they are born women. They have not met my wife Valerie who was born a witch.
I didn't think direwolves actually existed, much like the ROUSes.
April 8, 2025 at 12:25 PM
I didn't think direwolves actually existed, much like the ROUSes.
I once tried to plead my case to the king about imports of chocolate and I didn't last 20 minutes before I collapsed. Good on you Sen. Booker.
April 1, 2025 at 10:08 PM
I once tried to plead my case to the king about imports of chocolate and I didn't last 20 minutes before I collapsed. Good on you Sen. Booker.
Me in the national security group chat
March 25, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Me in the national security group chat
The King's Stinking Son and Count Rugen have decided that Florin is too smart. Studies will now be run by the Brute Squad and the Screeching Eels rather than the wizards and alchemists.
March 21, 2025 at 7:39 PM
The King's Stinking Son and Count Rugen have decided that Florin is too smart. Studies will now be run by the Brute Squad and the Screeching Eels rather than the wizards and alchemists.
Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and we didn't go to war with Guilder. Maybe the current leadership needs to be threatened by a pirate.
March 11, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Luckily, cooler heads prevailed and we didn't go to war with Guilder. Maybe the current leadership needs to be threatened by a pirate.
I get the feeling we aren't the main character any more.
March 3, 2025 at 1:27 PM
I get the feeling we aren't the main character any more.
The king's stinking son was seen punching a pregnant woman in the face and then laughing at the way she fell down. No one did anything. I feel our time here is coming to an end.
March 2, 2025 at 2:12 PM
The king's stinking son was seen punching a pregnant woman in the face and then laughing at the way she fell down. No one did anything. I feel our time here is coming to an end.
I didn't realize "death by plague" was still on the table.
February 27, 2025 at 1:39 PM
I didn't realize "death by plague" was still on the table.
Valerie and I would both win sag award but it's not what you think. Or maybe you would. I don't know your life.
February 24, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Valerie and I would both win sag award but it's not what you think. Or maybe you would. I don't know your life.
I see McConnell is retiring. I retired once. One of my favorite things to do. I highly recommend it. I also retired while I was still able to walk.
February 20, 2025 at 10:20 PM
I see McConnell is retiring. I retired once. One of my favorite things to do. I highly recommend it. I also retired while I was still able to walk.
I'm not sure if y'all really want a king. It's not a great system. But Florin's about 300 years away from democracy so what do we know.
February 20, 2025 at 4:44 AM
I'm not sure if y'all really want a king. It's not a great system. But Florin's about 300 years away from democracy so what do we know.
I'm retired but I still like to dabble in miracle making. It just takes longer for my eyebrows to grow back when things go wrong.
February 16, 2025 at 1:51 PM
I'm retired but I still like to dabble in miracle making. It just takes longer for my eyebrows to grow back when things go wrong.
If I could make you a Miracle Pill™ for any miracle, what would that be for you?
February 11, 2025 at 10:09 PM
If I could make you a Miracle Pill™ for any miracle, what would that be for you?
We have nothing like the Super Bowl in Florin. Some jousting, the occasional person put into stocks in the town square. But we do have a Drake/Kendrick type feud. The Town Cryer is constantly inserting claims of parentage about the head of the Brute squad in his daily updates.
February 10, 2025 at 2:46 PM
We have nothing like the Super Bowl in Florin. Some jousting, the occasional person put into stocks in the town square. But we do have a Drake/Kendrick type feud. The Town Cryer is constantly inserting claims of parentage about the head of the Brute squad in his daily updates.
For the last few weeks, the fireswamp seems to be expanding, encroaching on everyone's property. I don't see a way to stop it, and I'm positive I saw the King's Stinking Son with a can of gasoline in the middle of it.
February 7, 2025 at 8:39 PM
For the last few weeks, the fireswamp seems to be expanding, encroaching on everyone's property. I don't see a way to stop it, and I'm positive I saw the King's Stinking Son with a can of gasoline in the middle of it.
You know what we need right now? A Citizen Brute Squad.
February 3, 2025 at 4:59 PM
You know what we need right now? A Citizen Brute Squad.
We don't have a newspaper in Florin. No printing press. No journalist guild. We barely have paper. But I tell you something we do have - the integrity not to bribe the king's stinking son so he'll let us make business decisions. #CBS is a bunch of cowards.
January 31, 2025 at 9:06 PM
We don't have a newspaper in Florin. No printing press. No journalist guild. We barely have paper. But I tell you something we do have - the integrity not to bribe the king's stinking son so he'll let us make business decisions. #CBS is a bunch of cowards.
I'm at the point where I'm going to go find Count Rugen and see if he can hook me up to his machine and suck the rest of my life away.
January 29, 2025 at 8:23 PM
I'm at the point where I'm going to go find Count Rugen and see if he can hook me up to his machine and suck the rest of my life away.
Florin citizens don't vote. We're in the before times when we got taxed without representation. Given what you all are going through, I'm not sure which is worse.
January 28, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Florin citizens don't vote. We're in the before times when we got taxed without representation. Given what you all are going through, I'm not sure which is worse.
I guess I'm glad Valerie and I have our own chickens. I think this is the first stage of remorse some people might be feeling.
January 28, 2025 at 3:42 PM
I guess I'm glad Valerie and I have our own chickens. I think this is the first stage of remorse some people might be feeling.
The king's stinking son is trying to get into a tax war with Guilder. We're all going to be eating ROUSes pretty soon.
January 27, 2025 at 12:22 AM
The king's stinking son is trying to get into a tax war with Guilder. We're all going to be eating ROUSes pretty soon.
The kingdom is doing away with DEI regulations, so, all those average brute squad bros can now, I guess, get regular brute squad jobs? Your parents must be so proud. Kick any canes on your way to your new middle management job?
January 24, 2025 at 6:29 PM
The kingdom is doing away with DEI regulations, so, all those average brute squad bros can now, I guess, get regular brute squad jobs? Your parents must be so proud. Kick any canes on your way to your new middle management job?