There is nothing that I could do that would be good enough for me that it would be worth hurting her.

I’m really tore up about this. It’s a role and play I’ve loved for over a decade. But when it feels wrong, you’ve got to acknowledge the feeling. I can’t in good conscience do this.

Anyway, I had to turn the part down. There’s no way I was ever going to get enough out of this show to make up for how bad she feels.

I know a lot of people would say “if she can’t handle it, she needs to toughen up.” And once upon a time I would’ve agreed. But she is my world.

And I don’t understand why she wasn’t. She’s beautiful, she’s insanely talented, but for some reason she keeps getting passed over. This one hurt in particular because 1) our friends are the directors, and 2) she didn’t even get to read for the one role she wanted.

It’s probably not much to most people, but I never thought I’d get that from him. I’m still crying. Holy shit that felt so good.