and I had a beautiful method for getting him into the elevator, which no one will understand now

But that was before my brain was full of newspaper

I used to ride my horsey through the hospital carwash, I’d comb his mane and feed him apples, and kiss him on the forehead

All fresh and clean, and spick and span, we’d strut our stuff through the emergency room, and sometimes up to the pregnancy ward, and sometimes down to the morgue,

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I think I hear my horsey neighing in the pasture, before I realize that it’s just the same recording that I play on repeat 24/7

The detective said my horsey is definitely dead and that he probably fell down a well or something

But sir, I cried, You just got here, and there are no wells on my property

Either way Buttercup, most horse abduction victims are killed within hours of being taken. Time to give up all hope, he said

For not sexting back..,

why didn’t you try harder to get electrd

This is mean to pigs

Even if we could move we wouldn’t, we’re lazy piggies, that’s the way we’ve always been. As soon as we’re hungry he passes out another round of slop. All we have to do is swallow. It tastes like cum, but we like it

It’s filthy down here, with semen, shit, and piss. We‘re so close together we piss on each other’s backs and shit on each other’s stomachs. There aren’t any toilets here, and even if there were it wouldn’t matter, because none of us can move

There are others down here with me. Sometimes he comes down to tell us to oink. We always do what he says. I don’t know what he’d do if we disobeyed. He might take something away, but we’d get used to it. We oink because we love to oink, because we’re piggies

Doggy! What was his surname.