The Hat
thehatistalking.bsky.social
The Hat
@thehatistalking.bsky.social
The hat is talking
Bone Apple Teeth Recipe:
Fill a blender full of apples.
2 cups of Times New Roman.
3 injections of Christmas Sitcom Episode.
7 easy payments of $3.99 directly to me.
Bake in the oven for 8 Trillion years.
Serve with LLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
November 19, 2025 at 1:56 AM
RULE VIOLATION!

Bare asses may not be subject to tire marks.

IN FUTURE:

Put 3 gold in the pot and raise the heat meter.
October 10, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Step 1: Receive the package
Step 2: Deliver the package to the four grandfathers
Step 3: Kick down the back entrance
Step 4: Come to terms with your new life
Step 5: Wound your sacrificial offering and let the blood spill onto your eyes
July 13, 2025 at 9:32 PM
SYSTEM BOOT @
scanning for virus… complete
0 virus found
scanning for casualties… complete
0 casualties found

operator: GiMS OS
admin: Errata
producer: Stephen

CHATLOGS:
plo♡: You’re quite talkative for an AI
MOCP 5.1: shchr xbitex h motif fsvfig wqdy bxeuogcbtdvit vhopl
plo♡: Dreamy
July 8, 2025 at 5:54 AM
I saw a truck driver with one of those dice things connected with string hanging from his rear view mirror
He said “I got a present for you!”
Sadly an officer pulled us over for talking while driving on the highway before he could show me minion toy collection
July 1, 2025 at 10:31 AM
BLAST OFF LIKE A VALCANO!
The future holds a secret path full of the leftovers of the mountain people if you have the means.
July 1, 2025 at 10:26 AM
The latest paction featured a broll po bar. Funnily enough, a shall man had the sombine to ask for a link.
June 26, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Taking initiative, I cock my neck 90° to the right towards the obese. I get a couple cheap looks while I sip my mascara.
June 25, 2025 at 6:00 PM
While attending my cirms, the loment dran his words strongly. An abincidence where slame neither stopped nor went.
June 24, 2025 at 12:44 AM
My application to be a socialist:
-I have a hen
-I launched a toy rocket when I was young
-I can tie a ribbon
June 23, 2025 at 4:36 PM
On the ridge, minister by my side, my therapist stands anxious as she slowly rotates the contraption, flipping the script entirely.
June 23, 2025 at 3:03 PM
June 20, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Been doing some brainstorming lately. Heres some cool ideas:
1) Copper supplement meals
2) New judicial system where a magic 8 ball decides
3) They make me the beneficiary of Bixton
Couldn’t manage to fit all of my ideas into one bluskweet but tomorrow I’ll update y’all.
June 19, 2025 at 10:28 PM
In a rush I sprain my wrist with the courtesy of a lump often overlooked
June 19, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Initiative determines the order of turns during combat. When combat…
A prestige class is a character class in Dungeons & Dragons…
A particle is a tiny piece of matter that makes…
"Grain" can refer to the seeds of grass-like plants, such as corn, rice…
Denial is a defense mechanism in which a person…
June 18, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Toast the bread.
Nationalist walks the streets.
Child of man making due.
Suntan your skin.
Extort the weak.
June 17, 2025 at 9:44 PM
[VERSE 2]
It seems you don’t know your place
I’ll sow worry in your head just like a shoe lace
The berry’s of invention bear hilarious aquarius
Rhymes, like a retailer, it’s nefarious
[CHORUS]
June 17, 2025 at 1:15 AM
went to a maid cafe in denver
didnt know that my body can react in such ways! lol
day by day im just an analyst but at the cafe i glow like the freaky citizen i am
June 16, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Barber: Can I get a haircut?
Me: What?
My prestigious uncle: Can I get a diet haircut?
Triangle: No
No: What?
June 16, 2025 at 6:55 PM
The game of golf is one full of the bricks of success. Even though one may glare, the golf countryside forbids any thoughts of doubt.
June 16, 2025 at 3:37 PM
heh…
my fish found a wittle sword and is using it
his name is truck and he is brown
thanks for listening
June 16, 2025 at 4:24 AM
Y’know if you look at it that way, deprivation really is the winner here. Genuinely, it’s a nightmare to have a conversation about those kinds of things.
June 16, 2025 at 4:21 AM
We state our case. Wearing the maximum quality dress off any shelf before bellowing “On the slant!”
June 14, 2025 at 4:15 PM
It was instinct. Poll analysts work as if balanced.
June 13, 2025 at 11:08 PM
The tree perceives the future. The tree articulates the past. We must forge our own lemons, and then make lemonade.
June 13, 2025 at 2:17 PM