#journalling #shadowwork

We often feel guilty about any positive impact death has on our lives. Like it’s somehow dishonouring those who have left. And of course we’d prefer they didn’t have to leave us. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a gain to be found in the loss. Giving ourselves the grace to feel that is a gift.

Something I did to help me through the grief was journal, almost daily - I wrote Roxie a letter of thanks, I poured my heart, my grief, my sorrow, into those pages. I sketched pictures of her and wrote poems in her honour. And I looked for the positives that came with the loss.

She had gotten to the point that many old dogs do - unable to walk far, constantly needing to be attended to. But she was stoic and gracious to the end.

I didn’t realise how hyper vigilant I’d become as she’d gotten older - as hard as losing her was, it has allowed me to begin to decompress

And I totally understand that some of them were coddled as children and not taught how to self regulate, or fend. But neither was I - I had to learn that for myself.

Taking radical responsibility is sometimes messy as heck, so I know I need to find some patience and grace for this trigger 🧡