Always remember when people are told to tighten their belts or go without pay, the people telling you to do so will still get theirs. See also: healthcare, pensions, etc.

My band Marijuana Johnson is playing with HR from Bad Brains on 4/20, which is also Easter this year. Please find all these eggs, we may be in trouble.

I would like to personally thank whoever at San Diego Studio knew immature idiots like myself would enjoy this audio cue every time my team takes the field. #MLBTheShow #Uranus

Imagine sending excited emojis about killing people. These people are ghouls.

YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME TRUMP!

When my grandfather grew very old, well into his eighties and suffering from some dementia, he began to do this strange thing where he would put rubber bands around his dress shoes. Apparently to “keep them tight” without needing laces.

See if you can spot the super hard to find correlation between that last graph and this one.

After decades of declining wealth possession by the wealthiest 1% of the country, they got fed up and started rolling back all of those pesky New Deal laws and policies that FDR passed and what do you know, it’s 1928 again. Trump’s tariffs will not fix this. Dismantling unregulated capitalism will.