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thecritic.bsky.social
The Critic
@thecritic.bsky.social
180 followers 87 following 1.1K posts
fix your hearts or die
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thecritic.bsky.social
Do you think Charlie was wearing his diaper when he got shot?
Charlie Kirk in a yellow shirt and diaper, looking like a massive dipshit, pointing to a sign saying "Oops I think one of you is wearing a diaper. That's embarrassing."
September 10, 2025 at 7:32 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
👀
Post from Merriam-Websters Bluesky account which reads “enshittification | noun | when a digital platform is made worse for users, in order to increase profits” Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?
September 6, 2025 at 6:25 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Scene from the film "The Shining" where Wendy Torrance, played impeccably by Shelley Duval, is looking at her husband Jack's typewriter and instead of the "All work and no play" that we see in the movie, the paper reads lines from the song "Mambo #5" " A little bit of Erica by my side A little bit of Rita's all I need A little bit of Tina's what I see A little bit of Sandra in the sun A little bit of Mary all night long A little bit of Jessica, here I am"
August 7, 2025 at 4:55 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
The hero America needs has Miller in his scope and his finger slowly tightening.
Screenshot from New York Times article that reads: Stephen Miller, one of Mr. Trump’s top advisers and the architect of his immigration policy, has promoted ICE’s hiring drive in ideological terms. “Want to mass deport illegals from Los Angeles?” he wrote on social media last week. “JOIN dot ICE dot GOV today and get a 50K signing/retention bonus. Make your family proud and be the hero America needs.”
August 7, 2025 at 11:08 AM
thecritic.bsky.social
If you visit Pompeii they have a building with a long hallway and at the end of the hallway is a television playing "Live at Pompeii."
July 24, 2025 at 4:17 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Uhhh, what the fuck is going on over in programming at the Lifetime Movie Channel?
Screenshot of today's schedule of programming on the Lifetime Movie Network and the schedule goes like this: 8am - (Movie) Expecting Amish 10am - (Movie) Amish Abduction 12pm - (Movie) Stalked by My Amish Boyfriend 2pm - (Movie) A Kidnapping in Amish Country 4pm- (Movie) An Amish Murder 6pm- (Movie) An Amish Sin 8pm- (Movie) Amish Affair
July 24, 2025 at 2:06 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
My dude, this is my finger decades after an incident with a bicycle chain when I was 4 or 5. The chain was turned barely half a rotation by another child the same age. I am in awe of you, Blessed One, but you are also like, sorta my mortal enemy from here on out.
My weird ass nubbin of a finger years and years after being reattached by a doctor who apparently was huffing anesthetic and thought he was working under battlefield conditions. It legit looks like he sewed a toe onto the end of a finger stump. What the fuck? I can’t even pick my nose with this surgical abomination.
July 14, 2025 at 2:39 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
This is absolutely helpful, Netflix.
Screenshot of an email notification from Netflix that says: "A new device signed into your Netflix account, The details Device Generic Device Location United States (This location may not be exact.)
July 8, 2025 at 5:30 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Screenshot from Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse-Five" that reads: "Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time. Billy has gone to sleep a senile widower and awakened on his wedding day. He has walked through a door in 1955 and come out another one in 1941. He has gone back through that door to find himself in 1963. He has seen his birth and death many times, he says, and pays random visits to all the events in between."
June 27, 2025 at 5:47 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Ranked choice voting ballot of writer Kurt Andersen for New York City mayor showing Brad Lander as his first choice Zohran Mamdani as a second and Zellnor Myrie as his third
June 23, 2025 at 4:46 AM
thecritic.bsky.social
"Describe a favorite movie in the most misleading way possible."

A deadbeat dad's involvement in his children's lives causes problems for everyone.
Image from "Star Wars: A New Hope" in which Luke Skywalker is all bummed out looking and Princess Leia is comforting him.
June 11, 2025 at 6:38 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Extremely Robert Smith voice
Screenshot of a text message, which are the lyrics to the cure song “like cockatoos.“ Extremely Robert Smith voice: And kissed his feet she fell Her head an inch away from heaven And her face pressed tight And all around the night sang out: And underneath that is a flyer that says, “lost cockatiel” and offers a reward and has a picture of the bird
May 20, 2025 at 3:14 AM
thecritic.bsky.social
Orange background with a yellow character who looks a lot like Grover wearing a scarf, riding an orange bicycle and the caption is "If I don't turn it into a joke...It will destroy me." Which is my family motto.
May 15, 2025 at 6:43 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Isn’t this you, though? Just utterly a buffoon.
Clown meme in four panels where each panel, the clown has applied more and more makeup. Text from post by Eric Lipton of the NYT is spaced throughout the four progressive pictures, becoming more and more a clown ass buffoon. “And yes, Trump is a master media manipulator and has been since his days as a small NYC real estate developer who got more coverage than he deserved. He knows how to drive the left to a frenzy. And he clearly enjoys it. He does not manipulate me. If you think he does, you have missed my stories.”
May 12, 2025 at 8:14 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
May 12, 2025 at 11:11 AM
thecritic.bsky.social
Dogs on the other hand…(paw?)
May 8, 2025 at 10:38 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Yessss on your watch
Frans Masereel woodcutting on paper of a heart filled with images including a snake, a cross, dice, playing cards, a hand holding a dagger, among other things.
April 23, 2025 at 10:54 AM
thecritic.bsky.social
Here’s the immortal hound herself
Little beagle-like dog just kind of chill hanging out in the emergency room after eating a dose of baker’s chocolate that would have killed two or three other dogs. She’s just panting lightly like it’s no big deal.
April 7, 2025 at 10:39 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Some signs from the huge protest in Strongsville, a Trump stronghold
F’Elon and the Felon sign Hands off our democracy. Dad fought fascists in WWII. I will fight fascists now! Tariffs. Trump’s plan. Make top 10% richer. We the people get [poop emoji]. Two protestors one carrying a picture of Trump captioned “Traitor in Chief.” The other in a Stormtrooper from Star Wars mask and a sign reading “This empire sucks.”
April 5, 2025 at 7:54 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Periodic reminder.
Venn diagram showing Elon Musk in one circle and Pennywise the Clown for the other. The overlap categories include "Has beef with children, strange body, owned by Stephen King, can be defeated by bullying, hates gay people, clown" the one category that Pennywise has that Elon does not, is "funny." The sickest burn, since Elon so desperately wants people to think he's funny and he's one of the least funny people to have ever existed.
March 31, 2025 at 3:07 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
What? Was that prescient or was that post a bat signal kind of thing.
March 11, 2025 at 1:35 AM
thecritic.bsky.social
Did Semisonic write this fortune?
Fortune cookie scrap of paper that says “Remember that every ending is the beginning of something new” like the lyrics from Semisonic’s song “Closing Time.”
February 26, 2025 at 7:36 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Just a complete master of the form.
Clown meme in four panels where each panel, the clown has applied more and more makeup. Text from post by Eric Lipton of the NYT is spaced throughout the four progressive pictures, becoming more and more a clown ass buffoon. “And yes, Trump is a master media manipulator and has been since his days as a small NYC real estate developer who got more coverage than he deserved. He knows how to drive the left to a frenzy. And he clearly enjoys it. He does not manipulate me. If you think he does, you have missed my stories.”
February 20, 2025 at 2:41 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
Oh, really? Please note my annotations in my reply email that in lieu of payment in legal tender, I am also sending Disney+ "good vibes" and "no money."
Screenshot from updated Disney+ email that reads "We are clarifying that, as we continue to increase the breadth and depth of the content we make available to you, circumstances may require that certain titles and types of content include ads, even in our 'no ads' or 'ad free' subscription tiers."
February 20, 2025 at 2:32 PM
thecritic.bsky.social
It gets even better when Agent Cooper and Big Ed Hurley surf-ride a giant sandworm to a rocking score by Toto.
February 1, 2025 at 4:49 AM