The Corrections Department
@thecorrectionsdept.bsky.social
Some stories are untrue and we're here to clarify or apologize.
probably both.
This account is not linked to reality in any way, shape or form and is strictly a figment of imagination.
When we find out who's it is- we'll let you know
probably both.
This account is not linked to reality in any way, shape or form and is strictly a figment of imagination.
When we find out who's it is- we'll let you know
Pinned
We'd like to take this moment to express our sincerest gratitude for the opportunity to rejoin the Journalist community here on BlueSky and promise to continue on our quest to inform, correct and clarify the news as it happens.
...as long as Todd doesn't forget the password again.
...as long as Todd doesn't forget the password again.
🔴BREAKING NEWS🔴
Unconfirmed reports from anonymous sources tell us the US DOJ is attempting to remove this tweet from all internet archives and classifying it as a National Security issue with appropriate penalties for posting it.
Unconfirmed reports from anonymous sources tell us the US DOJ is attempting to remove this tweet from all internet archives and classifying it as a National Security issue with appropriate penalties for posting it.
May 31, 2025 at 7:10 PM
🔴BREAKING NEWS🔴
Unconfirmed reports from anonymous sources tell us the US DOJ is attempting to remove this tweet from all internet archives and classifying it as a National Security issue with appropriate penalties for posting it.
Unconfirmed reports from anonymous sources tell us the US DOJ is attempting to remove this tweet from all internet archives and classifying it as a National Security issue with appropriate penalties for posting it.
🔴BREAKING🔴
Donald Trump declares the Catholic Church is now part of the Executive branch and he is now the Pope.
More on this developing story later.
Donald Trump declares the Catholic Church is now part of the Executive branch and he is now the Pope.
More on this developing story later.
April 21, 2025 at 4:10 PM
🔴BREAKING🔴
Donald Trump declares the Catholic Church is now part of the Executive branch and he is now the Pope.
More on this developing story later.
Donald Trump declares the Catholic Church is now part of the Executive branch and he is now the Pope.
More on this developing story later.
🔴BREAKING NEWS🔴
Pam Bondi to file charges against the Atlantic for leaking National Security info regarding Pete Hesgeth's including their editor in Yemen attack Signal chat.
Evidently it's a crime to reveal a cabinet member sharing classified information on an unauthorized platform while drunk.
Pam Bondi to file charges against the Atlantic for leaking National Security info regarding Pete Hesgeth's including their editor in Yemen attack Signal chat.
Evidently it's a crime to reveal a cabinet member sharing classified information on an unauthorized platform while drunk.
March 24, 2025 at 10:08 PM
🔴BREAKING NEWS🔴
Pam Bondi to file charges against the Atlantic for leaking National Security info regarding Pete Hesgeth's including their editor in Yemen attack Signal chat.
Evidently it's a crime to reveal a cabinet member sharing classified information on an unauthorized platform while drunk.
Pam Bondi to file charges against the Atlantic for leaking National Security info regarding Pete Hesgeth's including their editor in Yemen attack Signal chat.
Evidently it's a crime to reveal a cabinet member sharing classified information on an unauthorized platform while drunk.
CORRECTION:
Our recent column stating that The Evangelical Free Church of America (EFCA) is removing all references to Jesus Christ because their views do not align with the teachings of a "liberal Jew" were factually incorrect.
They're just assholes, and use it as an excuse.
Our recent column stating that The Evangelical Free Church of America (EFCA) is removing all references to Jesus Christ because their views do not align with the teachings of a "liberal Jew" were factually incorrect.
They're just assholes, and use it as an excuse.
March 11, 2025 at 10:47 PM
CORRECTION:
Our recent column stating that The Evangelical Free Church of America (EFCA) is removing all references to Jesus Christ because their views do not align with the teachings of a "liberal Jew" were factually incorrect.
They're just assholes, and use it as an excuse.
Our recent column stating that The Evangelical Free Church of America (EFCA) is removing all references to Jesus Christ because their views do not align with the teachings of a "liberal Jew" were factually incorrect.
They're just assholes, and use it as an excuse.
Correction:
The column we ran earlier incorrectly credited the SOUTUS speech being written by Stephen Miller and Joeseph Goebells.
Everyone knows Herr Goebells has been dead for decades, but we're not ruling out plagiarism.
The column we ran earlier incorrectly credited the SOUTUS speech being written by Stephen Miller and Joeseph Goebells.
Everyone knows Herr Goebells has been dead for decades, but we're not ruling out plagiarism.
March 5, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Correction:
The column we ran earlier incorrectly credited the SOUTUS speech being written by Stephen Miller and Joeseph Goebells.
Everyone knows Herr Goebells has been dead for decades, but we're not ruling out plagiarism.
The column we ran earlier incorrectly credited the SOUTUS speech being written by Stephen Miller and Joeseph Goebells.
Everyone knows Herr Goebells has been dead for decades, but we're not ruling out plagiarism.
CORRECTION:
We have yet to confirm information reported yesterday stating that Andrew Tate has been picked to be the Undersecretary of US Athletic Development.
We expect the announcement to be made via Truth Social within the next few hours.
We have yet to confirm information reported yesterday stating that Andrew Tate has been picked to be the Undersecretary of US Athletic Development.
We expect the announcement to be made via Truth Social within the next few hours.
February 27, 2025 at 11:34 PM
CORRECTION:
We have yet to confirm information reported yesterday stating that Andrew Tate has been picked to be the Undersecretary of US Athletic Development.
We expect the announcement to be made via Truth Social within the next few hours.
We have yet to confirm information reported yesterday stating that Andrew Tate has been picked to be the Undersecretary of US Athletic Development.
We expect the announcement to be made via Truth Social within the next few hours.
BREAKING NEWS:
Chuck Grassley's pet wooly mammoth found in Michigan.
Chuck Grassley's pet wooly mammoth found in Michigan.
February 26, 2025 at 10:00 PM
BREAKING NEWS:
Chuck Grassley's pet wooly mammoth found in Michigan.
Chuck Grassley's pet wooly mammoth found in Michigan.
CORRECTION:
We mistakenly identified Elon Musk at CPAC weilding a chainsaw as the clown hired for Matt Schlapps birthday party.
The accompanying photo was from a political conference, not his birthday party, and the clown shown kept his clothes on.
We apologize for the confusion.
We mistakenly identified Elon Musk at CPAC weilding a chainsaw as the clown hired for Matt Schlapps birthday party.
The accompanying photo was from a political conference, not his birthday party, and the clown shown kept his clothes on.
We apologize for the confusion.
February 23, 2025 at 3:36 AM
CORRECTION:
We mistakenly identified Elon Musk at CPAC weilding a chainsaw as the clown hired for Matt Schlapps birthday party.
The accompanying photo was from a political conference, not his birthday party, and the clown shown kept his clothes on.
We apologize for the confusion.
We mistakenly identified Elon Musk at CPAC weilding a chainsaw as the clown hired for Matt Schlapps birthday party.
The accompanying photo was from a political conference, not his birthday party, and the clown shown kept his clothes on.
We apologize for the confusion.
SPORTS UPDATE:
We'd like to offer our sincerest congratulations to Team USA in scoring top honors in the Second Place category in tonight's hockey game against Team Canada.
It is without a doubt that the heartfelt encouragement from Mr Trump made this achievement possible for Team USA.
We'd like to offer our sincerest congratulations to Team USA in scoring top honors in the Second Place category in tonight's hockey game against Team Canada.
It is without a doubt that the heartfelt encouragement from Mr Trump made this achievement possible for Team USA.
February 21, 2025 at 5:30 AM
SPORTS UPDATE:
We'd like to offer our sincerest congratulations to Team USA in scoring top honors in the Second Place category in tonight's hockey game against Team Canada.
It is without a doubt that the heartfelt encouragement from Mr Trump made this achievement possible for Team USA.
We'd like to offer our sincerest congratulations to Team USA in scoring top honors in the Second Place category in tonight's hockey game against Team Canada.
It is without a doubt that the heartfelt encouragement from Mr Trump made this achievement possible for Team USA.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
We'd like to remind all EV owners & drivers that using your turn signal does not diminish your vehicle's range and that it may well save your life when the person you cut off expresses themselves inappropriately with whatever blunt object or projectile at hand.
We'd like to remind all EV owners & drivers that using your turn signal does not diminish your vehicle's range and that it may well save your life when the person you cut off expresses themselves inappropriately with whatever blunt object or projectile at hand.
February 20, 2025 at 7:50 PM
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
We'd like to remind all EV owners & drivers that using your turn signal does not diminish your vehicle's range and that it may well save your life when the person you cut off expresses themselves inappropriately with whatever blunt object or projectile at hand.
We'd like to remind all EV owners & drivers that using your turn signal does not diminish your vehicle's range and that it may well save your life when the person you cut off expresses themselves inappropriately with whatever blunt object or projectile at hand.
PUBLIC NOTICE:
Earl- your fly is open.
Earl- your fly is open.
February 20, 2025 at 7:10 PM
PUBLIC NOTICE:
Earl- your fly is open.
Earl- your fly is open.
SIDENOTE:
We'd like to express our sincerest gratitude to the dozens of people that helped our intern, Todd, remove his tongue from the frozen lightpost on 3rd & Main yesterday.
We regret Mrs Ingles arrest for providing alcohol to a minor and hope for the best outcome in this difficult time.
We'd like to express our sincerest gratitude to the dozens of people that helped our intern, Todd, remove his tongue from the frozen lightpost on 3rd & Main yesterday.
We regret Mrs Ingles arrest for providing alcohol to a minor and hope for the best outcome in this difficult time.
February 20, 2025 at 12:33 AM
SIDENOTE:
We'd like to express our sincerest gratitude to the dozens of people that helped our intern, Todd, remove his tongue from the frozen lightpost on 3rd & Main yesterday.
We regret Mrs Ingles arrest for providing alcohol to a minor and hope for the best outcome in this difficult time.
We'd like to express our sincerest gratitude to the dozens of people that helped our intern, Todd, remove his tongue from the frozen lightpost on 3rd & Main yesterday.
We regret Mrs Ingles arrest for providing alcohol to a minor and hope for the best outcome in this difficult time.
CORRECTION:
There is no truth to the rumor that RFK Jr will step aside from the cabinet position of Secretary of Health and Human Serices and be replaced by Andrew Tate.
...at least until Romania folds and drops the charges.
There is no truth to the rumor that RFK Jr will step aside from the cabinet position of Secretary of Health and Human Serices and be replaced by Andrew Tate.
...at least until Romania folds and drops the charges.
February 18, 2025 at 10:48 PM
CORRECTION:
There is no truth to the rumor that RFK Jr will step aside from the cabinet position of Secretary of Health and Human Serices and be replaced by Andrew Tate.
...at least until Romania folds and drops the charges.
There is no truth to the rumor that RFK Jr will step aside from the cabinet position of Secretary of Health and Human Serices and be replaced by Andrew Tate.
...at least until Romania folds and drops the charges.
BREAKING:
A Delta CRJ-900 appears to have landed upside down at Toronto's Pearson Airport. All passengers & crew are accounted for and reported without major injuries.
There is no truth to the rumor that Grok was controlling the plane and it thought it was landing in Australia.
A Delta CRJ-900 appears to have landed upside down at Toronto's Pearson Airport. All passengers & crew are accounted for and reported without major injuries.
There is no truth to the rumor that Grok was controlling the plane and it thought it was landing in Australia.
February 17, 2025 at 9:14 PM
BREAKING:
A Delta CRJ-900 appears to have landed upside down at Toronto's Pearson Airport. All passengers & crew are accounted for and reported without major injuries.
There is no truth to the rumor that Grok was controlling the plane and it thought it was landing in Australia.
A Delta CRJ-900 appears to have landed upside down at Toronto's Pearson Airport. All passengers & crew are accounted for and reported without major injuries.
There is no truth to the rumor that Grok was controlling the plane and it thought it was landing in Australia.
RETRACTION:
We wish to formally apologize for yesterday's editorial cartoon.
We acknowledge that anal polyps are inappropriate in a family oriented publication and there is no relationship to PepsiCo or the Cheetos brand.
Again, we apologize for the inference.
We wish to formally apologize for yesterday's editorial cartoon.
We acknowledge that anal polyps are inappropriate in a family oriented publication and there is no relationship to PepsiCo or the Cheetos brand.
Again, we apologize for the inference.
February 17, 2025 at 4:24 PM
RETRACTION:
We wish to formally apologize for yesterday's editorial cartoon.
We acknowledge that anal polyps are inappropriate in a family oriented publication and there is no relationship to PepsiCo or the Cheetos brand.
Again, we apologize for the inference.
We wish to formally apologize for yesterday's editorial cartoon.
We acknowledge that anal polyps are inappropriate in a family oriented publication and there is no relationship to PepsiCo or the Cheetos brand.
Again, we apologize for the inference.
CORRECTION:
The article posted on Tuesday, February 4th improperly identified the subject of a missing person's report as Franklin George, age 43, of Lankshire county.
The correct name is George Franklin, and he's been found hiding in Mrs Ingle's shed with the illegal distillery.
Story to follow.
The article posted on Tuesday, February 4th improperly identified the subject of a missing person's report as Franklin George, age 43, of Lankshire county.
The correct name is George Franklin, and he's been found hiding in Mrs Ingle's shed with the illegal distillery.
Story to follow.
February 15, 2025 at 11:22 PM
CORRECTION:
The article posted on Tuesday, February 4th improperly identified the subject of a missing person's report as Franklin George, age 43, of Lankshire county.
The correct name is George Franklin, and he's been found hiding in Mrs Ingle's shed with the illegal distillery.
Story to follow.
The article posted on Tuesday, February 4th improperly identified the subject of a missing person's report as Franklin George, age 43, of Lankshire county.
The correct name is George Franklin, and he's been found hiding in Mrs Ingle's shed with the illegal distillery.
Story to follow.
PUBLIC NOTICE:
Thursday's Maple Slushie Race has been postponed due to incorrect documentation required for permitting.
Apparently submitting the user manual for a slurpee machine does not constitute appropriate safety protocols and Mrs Ingles is still mad about the brain-freeze thing.
Thursday's Maple Slushie Race has been postponed due to incorrect documentation required for permitting.
Apparently submitting the user manual for a slurpee machine does not constitute appropriate safety protocols and Mrs Ingles is still mad about the brain-freeze thing.
February 15, 2025 at 4:25 PM
PUBLIC NOTICE:
Thursday's Maple Slushie Race has been postponed due to incorrect documentation required for permitting.
Apparently submitting the user manual for a slurpee machine does not constitute appropriate safety protocols and Mrs Ingles is still mad about the brain-freeze thing.
Thursday's Maple Slushie Race has been postponed due to incorrect documentation required for permitting.
Apparently submitting the user manual for a slurpee machine does not constitute appropriate safety protocols and Mrs Ingles is still mad about the brain-freeze thing.
PUBLIC NOTICE:
This weekend's Polar Bear Plunge has been cancelled due to inclement weather & the inability to procure a USCG Ice Breaker ship.
Evidently they don't feel that Willington's Pond is an appropriate venue, and Todd refuses to sacrifice his truck again.
This weekend's Polar Bear Plunge has been cancelled due to inclement weather & the inability to procure a USCG Ice Breaker ship.
Evidently they don't feel that Willington's Pond is an appropriate venue, and Todd refuses to sacrifice his truck again.
February 14, 2025 at 7:29 PM
PUBLIC NOTICE:
This weekend's Polar Bear Plunge has been cancelled due to inclement weather & the inability to procure a USCG Ice Breaker ship.
Evidently they don't feel that Willington's Pond is an appropriate venue, and Todd refuses to sacrifice his truck again.
This weekend's Polar Bear Plunge has been cancelled due to inclement weather & the inability to procure a USCG Ice Breaker ship.
Evidently they don't feel that Willington's Pond is an appropriate venue, and Todd refuses to sacrifice his truck again.
CLARIFICATION:
We wish to apologize for the editorial column that suggested Democratic Leadership taking a Ted Kaczynski approach when sending their 'Strongly Worded Letters' in opposition to the current administration's efforts to eviscerate the US Constitution.
We deeply regret the need to.
We wish to apologize for the editorial column that suggested Democratic Leadership taking a Ted Kaczynski approach when sending their 'Strongly Worded Letters' in opposition to the current administration's efforts to eviscerate the US Constitution.
We deeply regret the need to.
February 14, 2025 at 6:20 PM
CLARIFICATION:
We wish to apologize for the editorial column that suggested Democratic Leadership taking a Ted Kaczynski approach when sending their 'Strongly Worded Letters' in opposition to the current administration's efforts to eviscerate the US Constitution.
We deeply regret the need to.
We wish to apologize for the editorial column that suggested Democratic Leadership taking a Ted Kaczynski approach when sending their 'Strongly Worded Letters' in opposition to the current administration's efforts to eviscerate the US Constitution.
We deeply regret the need to.
Advice Columnist Ms Anthrope wishes to remind all you young lovers that gifting an Epilady for Valentine's Day is often misinterpreted and results in longer waits at the local Emergency Room, and many insurance policies consider it a self-inflicted injury and deny coverage.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day.
February 14, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Advice Columnist Ms Anthrope wishes to remind all you young lovers that gifting an Epilady for Valentine's Day is often misinterpreted and results in longer waits at the local Emergency Room, and many insurance policies consider it a self-inflicted injury and deny coverage.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day.
BREAKING:
Speaker Mitch McConnell will partner with Jamoo, Chinese manufacturer of the "Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Man with Blower" and license his name & likeness for branded performance art pieces.
The partnership is ideal for all as McConnell has historically been full of air with no spine.
Speaker Mitch McConnell will partner with Jamoo, Chinese manufacturer of the "Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Man with Blower" and license his name & likeness for branded performance art pieces.
The partnership is ideal for all as McConnell has historically been full of air with no spine.
a lenovo laptop is sitting on a table next to a red balloon
ALT: a lenovo laptop is sitting on a table next to a red balloon
media.tenor.com
February 14, 2025 at 12:12 AM
BREAKING:
Speaker Mitch McConnell will partner with Jamoo, Chinese manufacturer of the "Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Man with Blower" and license his name & likeness for branded performance art pieces.
The partnership is ideal for all as McConnell has historically been full of air with no spine.
Speaker Mitch McConnell will partner with Jamoo, Chinese manufacturer of the "Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Man with Blower" and license his name & likeness for branded performance art pieces.
The partnership is ideal for all as McConnell has historically been full of air with no spine.
Our potential sponsor NASCAR would like to remind their fans that while the Dixie Flag remains forbidden from being flown at sponsored events, the official Confederate Flag will continue to be flown on the final lap at all races.
a man in a helmet holds a flag in front of a sign that says ' mackenzie speedway '
ALT: a man in a helmet holds a flag in front of a sign that says ' mackenzie speedway '
media.tenor.com
February 13, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Our potential sponsor NASCAR would like to remind their fans that while the Dixie Flag remains forbidden from being flown at sponsored events, the official Confederate Flag will continue to be flown on the final lap at all races.
Correction:
There is no truth to the rumor that Speaker Mitch McConnell is considering licensing his name to the manufacturer Slinky, Incorporated.
Slinky, Incorporated requires their product to successfully navigate down an entire flight of stairs.
There is no truth to the rumor that Speaker Mitch McConnell is considering licensing his name to the manufacturer Slinky, Incorporated.
Slinky, Incorporated requires their product to successfully navigate down an entire flight of stairs.
February 13, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Correction:
There is no truth to the rumor that Speaker Mitch McConnell is considering licensing his name to the manufacturer Slinky, Incorporated.
Slinky, Incorporated requires their product to successfully navigate down an entire flight of stairs.
There is no truth to the rumor that Speaker Mitch McConnell is considering licensing his name to the manufacturer Slinky, Incorporated.
Slinky, Incorporated requires their product to successfully navigate down an entire flight of stairs.
Clarification:
The story we ran last Friday pertaining to Pete Hegseth's sobriety misstated the days documented.
Please replace the word 'days' with the word 'minutes'.
We apologize for any confusion.
The story we ran last Friday pertaining to Pete Hegseth's sobriety misstated the days documented.
Please replace the word 'days' with the word 'minutes'.
We apologize for any confusion.
February 13, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Clarification:
The story we ran last Friday pertaining to Pete Hegseth's sobriety misstated the days documented.
Please replace the word 'days' with the word 'minutes'.
We apologize for any confusion.
The story we ran last Friday pertaining to Pete Hegseth's sobriety misstated the days documented.
Please replace the word 'days' with the word 'minutes'.
We apologize for any confusion.
Correction:
Matt Schlapp was not 'forcibly removed' from a Virginia drinking establishment after stalking other male patrons and accidentally brushing his groin against them.
He left voluntarily after grabbing what he thought was his purse, realizing belatedly it was another patron's penis.
Matt Schlapp was not 'forcibly removed' from a Virginia drinking establishment after stalking other male patrons and accidentally brushing his groin against them.
He left voluntarily after grabbing what he thought was his purse, realizing belatedly it was another patron's penis.
February 13, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Correction:
Matt Schlapp was not 'forcibly removed' from a Virginia drinking establishment after stalking other male patrons and accidentally brushing his groin against them.
He left voluntarily after grabbing what he thought was his purse, realizing belatedly it was another patron's penis.
Matt Schlapp was not 'forcibly removed' from a Virginia drinking establishment after stalking other male patrons and accidentally brushing his groin against them.
He left voluntarily after grabbing what he thought was his purse, realizing belatedly it was another patron's penis.