Chaotic Creator
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thechaoticcreator.bsky.social
Chaotic Creator
@thechaoticcreator.bsky.social
12 followers 25 following 43 posts
lil bit of everything
Makeup/Books/Travel/Vegan Food
AuDHD. 31. Canadian

@exulansis-art.bsky.social‬ - art
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thechaoticcreator.bsky.social
I've been struggling with my grandmothers Alzheimer's diagnosis lately, she's my favorite person and I'm on the other side of the country so I can't be with her. I wrote this today thinking of her.

Her favorite flower is a yellow rose.
The Long Goodbye I told myself the last time that this would be it, I made sure to get the photos, to spend the time, to say my goodbyes, And then the following year, I did the same. Counted my lucky stars that I got more time. But it wasn’t luck, was it? Because the following year I had to do it again, I had to say my goodbyes again, and again, and again. Now it feels like a waiting game. Every day I wake up, almost anticipating getting the call. I know it’s coming, but I don’t know when. It could be today, tomorrow, a month from now, a year, or even a decade. Her sister took seventeen years to finally say her goodbye, But by that time, she didn’t remember who she was even saying goodbye to. I don’t want to watch her fade, I don’t want to watch the life I love disappear from her eyes, For them to lose their magical sparkle. But they already have, even if I’m not there to watch it. I see her on her best days; once a year, she remembers who she is. I bring her back to life, and for the briefest moment, she's okay. Then she leaves when I do. I haven’t seen what the others have seen, Part of me hates myself for that, The other part is glad I haven’t had to witness that. I fear it would break me. Part of me wishes it was already over, that she was at peace. And I hate myself for that. I know she never wanted this for herself, A quick goodbye and a promise is what she would have rathered. But we can’t always get what we want. I miss her, and she isn’t even gone yet. I hate long goodbyes, Rip the band-aid off and be done with it. But we can’t always get what we want. By the time it’s over I’ll have mourned over and over again, Maybe I won’t have any more tears left to cry, Or maybe I’ll end up ripped apart in ways I didn’t know were possible.
September 23, 2025 at 12:08 AM
thechaoticcreator.bsky.social
Pop of purple 💜

#makeup #eyemakeup
Close up shot of my eye makeup, soft shimmery neutrals, browns and Grey's with a vibrant purple in my inner corner Close up shot of my eye makeup, soft shimmery neutrals, browns and Grey's with a vibrant purple in my inner corner Close up shot of my eye makeup, soft shimmery neutrals, browns and Grey's with a vibrant purple in my inner corner Close up shot of my eye makeup, soft shimmery neutrals, browns and Grey's with a vibrant purple in my inner corner
February 25, 2025 at 11:44 PM
thechaoticcreator.bsky.social
Frozen oil slick eye makeup ❄️🖤

#makeup #eyemakeup
Close up shot of my eye makeup, it's a soft dark smokey eye, the outer v is black blended out with a lighter mauve purple, the inner corner is shimmery mint green, the lid is a mix of purples, silver, green and pinks, the bottom lash line is purple and pink shimmery shadow. Close up shot of my eye makeup, it's a soft dark smokey eye, the outer v is black blended out with a lighter mauve purple, the inner corner is shimmery mint green, the lid is a mix of purples, silver, green and pinks, the bottom lash line is purple and pink shimmery shadow. Close up shot of my eye makeup, it's a soft dark smokey eye, the outer v is black blended out with a lighter mauve purple, the inner corner is shimmery mint green, the lid is a mix of purples, silver, green and pinks, the bottom lash line is purple and pink shimmery shadow. Close up shot of my eye makeup, it's a soft dark smokey eye, the outer v is black blended out with a lighter mauve purple, the inner corner is shimmery mint green, the lid is a mix of purples, silver, green and pinks, the bottom lash line is purple and pink shimmery shadow.
February 24, 2025 at 3:40 AM
thechaoticcreator.bsky.social
soft pastels with a pop of color 💕
close up shot of my eye makeup, a light pink shimmery smokey eye with a blue cobalt eyeliner and a soft light blue shimmer in the inner corner close up shot of my eye makeup, a light pink shimmery smokey eye with a blue cobalt eyeliner and a soft light blue shimmer in the inner corner close up shot of my eye makeup, a light pink shimmery smokey eye with a blue cobalt eyeliner and a soft light blue shimmer in the inner corner close up shot of my eye makeup, a light pink shimmery smokey eye with a blue cobalt eyeliner and a soft light blue shimmer in the inner corner
February 21, 2025 at 1:01 AM
thechaoticcreator.bsky.social
Cold as ice ❄️

#makeup #eyemakeup
A closeup shot of my eye makeup. A slightly messy, almost grunge-inspired take on a blue smokey eye. Using a mix of blues, ranging from warmer greenish blue to icy cold white blues, with dark oil slick navy blues on the outer edges of the lash line. This shimmery eye look was fun to create, I usually stay away from blues since I have blue eyes and god forbid we don't wear colors that make our eyes pop 🙄 A closeup shot of my eye makeup. A slightly messy, almost grunge-inspired take on a blue smokey eye. Using a mix of blues, ranging from warmer greenish blue to icy cold white blues, with dark oil slick navy blues on the outer edges of the lash line. This shimmery eye look was fun to create, I usually stay away from blues since I have blue eyes and god forbid we don't wear colors that make our eyes pop 🙄 A closeup shot of my eye makeup. A slightly messy, almost grunge-inspired take on a blue smokey eye. Using a mix of blues, ranging from warmer greenish blue to icy cold white blues, with dark oil slick navy blues on the outer edges of the lash line. This shimmery eye look was fun to create, I usually stay away from blues since I have blue eyes and god forbid we don't wear colors that make our eyes pop 🙄 A closeup shot of my eye makeup. A slightly messy, almost grunge-inspired take on a blue smokey eye. Using a mix of blues, ranging from warmer greenish blue to icy cold white blues, with dark oil slick navy blues on the outer edges of the lash line. This shimmery eye look was fun to create, I usually stay away from blues since I have blue eyes and god forbid we don't wear colors that make our eyes pop 🙄
February 13, 2025 at 11:06 PM
thechaoticcreator.bsky.social
Lavender Meadow 💜🌿
Close-up shot of my eye makeup. Thin almost straight brows, soft pastel eye makeup, mint green and lavender on the lid, soft purple pastel inner corder, and dark eggplant purple winged eyeliner. Close-up shot of my eye makeup. Thin almost straight brows, soft pastel eye makeup, mint green and lavender on the lid, soft purple pastel inner corder, and dark eggplant purple winged eyeliner. Close-up shot of my eye makeup. Thin almost straight brows, soft pastel eye makeup, mint green and lavender on the lid, soft purple pastel inner corder, and dark eggplant purple winged eyeliner. Close-up shot of my eye makeup. Thin almost straight brows, soft pastel eye makeup, mint green and lavender on the lid, soft purple pastel inner corder, and dark eggplant purple winged eyeliner.
February 12, 2025 at 9:22 AM