The Burque Babble | New Mexico "News"
@theburquebabble.bsky.social
📰 Unreliable New Mexico News
👇 Follow for Albuquerque breaking stories
🔎 "These stories are false and not to be taken seriously".
-Tim Keller
👇 Follow for Albuquerque breaking stories
🔎 "These stories are false and not to be taken seriously".
-Tim Keller
A survey recently found that Albuquerque's ART busses are not in fact bussin'.
#abqnews #albuquerque #nmtrue
#abqnews #albuquerque #nmtrue
November 6, 2025 at 9:01 PM
A survey recently found that Albuquerque's ART busses are not in fact bussin'.
#abqnews #albuquerque #nmtrue
#abqnews #albuquerque #nmtrue
At a recent press conference, speaking on daylight saving time, Donald Trump said that he was a big fan. "Well you see, the time, in military, the time used to say 18 and now it says 17. I like that", stated President Trump.
JD Vance nodded his head in agreement while licking his lips.
JD Vance nodded his head in agreement while licking his lips.
November 3, 2025 at 8:45 PM
At a recent press conference, speaking on daylight saving time, Donald Trump said that he was a big fan. "Well you see, the time, in military, the time used to say 18 and now it says 17. I like that", stated President Trump.
JD Vance nodded his head in agreement while licking his lips.
JD Vance nodded his head in agreement while licking his lips.
On Halloween, McCall's Haunted Maze will replace the haunted field chainsaws with the sound of RFK's voice instead in order to make the maze that much more terrifying. "To be honest, his voice kind of sounds like if a chainsaw could talk. Like a small chainsaw", said the owner of the farm.
October 31, 2025 at 7:45 PM
On Halloween, McCall's Haunted Maze will replace the haunted field chainsaws with the sound of RFK's voice instead in order to make the maze that much more terrifying. "To be honest, his voice kind of sounds like if a chainsaw could talk. Like a small chainsaw", said the owner of the farm.
"The thong he wears everyday already has a lot of ball room for him. It's not a problem at all. Everything fits", said Melania.
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#whitehouse #eastwing #trump #melaniatrump
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#whitehouse #eastwing #trump #melaniatrump
October 23, 2025 at 7:45 PM
"The thong he wears everyday already has a lot of ball room for him. It's not a problem at all. Everything fits", said Melania.
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#whitehouse #eastwing #trump #melaniatrump
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#whitehouse #eastwing #trump #melaniatrump
In a recent interview, Tim Keller declared that he would be deploying soccer dads to fight crime if elected for another term. "Darren White wants more police in the city. No. We need more soccer dads. Not wine moms. Soccer dads", Keller discussed. "I mean you saw the news. Soccer dads can fight".
October 22, 2025 at 9:25 PM
In a recent interview, Tim Keller declared that he would be deploying soccer dads to fight crime if elected for another term. "Darren White wants more police in the city. No. We need more soccer dads. Not wine moms. Soccer dads", Keller discussed. "I mean you saw the news. Soccer dads can fight".
San Mateo Tower will now be demolished and rebuilt as a ballroom.
October 22, 2025 at 5:36 PM
San Mateo Tower will now be demolished and rebuilt as a ballroom.
"I don't drink dog c*m!", Mark Ronchetti stated. "It's purely incidental that I happen to have always wanted to open a doggy day care and that this rumor was spread about me during my campaign for governor".
Their business, Doggy Day C*m, is set to make their grand opening this winter.
Their business, Doggy Day C*m, is set to make their grand opening this winter.
October 21, 2025 at 7:45 PM
"I don't drink dog c*m!", Mark Ronchetti stated. "It's purely incidental that I happen to have always wanted to open a doggy day care and that this rumor was spread about me during my campaign for governor".
Their business, Doggy Day C*m, is set to make their grand opening this winter.
Their business, Doggy Day C*m, is set to make their grand opening this winter.
Late last evening, Burqueño, Juan Hernandez, died without ever considering getting a Zia tattoo. The family hired a tattoo artist to attend the funeral, in case Hernandez changed his mind. "We wanted to make sure that his decision was final. The tattoo thing, not his death, obviously that's final".
October 17, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Late last evening, Burqueño, Juan Hernandez, died without ever considering getting a Zia tattoo. The family hired a tattoo artist to attend the funeral, in case Hernandez changed his mind. "We wanted to make sure that his decision was final. The tattoo thing, not his death, obviously that's final".
Canadian hot air balloon pilot, Glenn Peters, awoke on Thursday morning to find the catalytic converter had been stolen from his hot air balloon.
When interviewed by the Burque Babble, Peters said, "I'm sorry". We are not sure why he apologized for having his catalytic converter stolen.
When interviewed by the Burque Babble, Peters said, "I'm sorry". We are not sure why he apologized for having his catalytic converter stolen.
October 9, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Canadian hot air balloon pilot, Glenn Peters, awoke on Thursday morning to find the catalytic converter had been stolen from his hot air balloon.
When interviewed by the Burque Babble, Peters said, "I'm sorry". We are not sure why he apologized for having his catalytic converter stolen.
When interviewed by the Burque Babble, Peters said, "I'm sorry". We are not sure why he apologized for having his catalytic converter stolen.
The air force is currently investigating this crime and suspects that the pilot may have been suffering from altitude sickness. "We think he got too high", said Air Force sergeant, Dean White. According to the pilot, the victims first cut him off and then attempted to take his landing spot.
October 3, 2025 at 7:45 PM
The air force is currently investigating this crime and suspects that the pilot may have been suffering from altitude sickness. "We think he got too high", said Air Force sergeant, Dean White. According to the pilot, the victims first cut him off and then attempted to take his landing spot.
"It's very unlikely you'll ever see it in the sky. Honestly, it's unlikely we'll even get it to inflate. It's shaped too special", said pilot Joe Maestas. "It cost like $30,000 and I'm regretting it. But it's cool! It looks cool, right? Right?".
Catch the special shape not in the sky soon.
Catch the special shape not in the sky soon.
September 29, 2025 at 1:15 PM
"It's very unlikely you'll ever see it in the sky. Honestly, it's unlikely we'll even get it to inflate. It's shaped too special", said pilot Joe Maestas. "It cost like $30,000 and I'm regretting it. But it's cool! It looks cool, right? Right?".
Catch the special shape not in the sky soon.
Catch the special shape not in the sky soon.
Dana White was very proud at today's press conference, announcing special guests Elon Musk and President Trump. Some seem to be protesting the event. "They'll do anything other than release the Epstein files", said one protester. You can catch the event live on Truth Social this Saturday.
September 23, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Dana White was very proud at today's press conference, announcing special guests Elon Musk and President Trump. Some seem to be protesting the event. "They'll do anything other than release the Epstein files", said one protester. You can catch the event live on Truth Social this Saturday.
Meow Wolf just announced special hours just for tripping acid! Meow Wolf will open it's doors every full moon from noon to 13am once a month just for it. "We'll stay open all 27 hours that day", said an employee. The next event will take place October 6th, starting at 39 o'clock.
September 19, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Meow Wolf just announced special hours just for tripping acid! Meow Wolf will open it's doors every full moon from noon to 13am once a month just for it. "We'll stay open all 27 hours that day", said an employee. The next event will take place October 6th, starting at 39 o'clock.
A DNA researcher at Los Alamos labs said, "We weren't sure at first because we received a U.S. education but upon looking closer, there's no doubt about it".
The current administration is looking into collecting the sand and moving it to its' own designated area of land.
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#albuquerquenews
The current administration is looking into collecting the sand and moving it to its' own designated area of land.
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#albuquerquenews
August 11, 2025 at 8:47 PM
A DNA researcher at Los Alamos labs said, "We weren't sure at first because we received a U.S. education but upon looking closer, there's no doubt about it".
The current administration is looking into collecting the sand and moving it to its' own designated area of land.
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#albuquerquenews
The current administration is looking into collecting the sand and moving it to its' own designated area of land.
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#albuquerquenews
"Any time I go anywhere, Allsups, Blake's, the courthouse, I always have to look at the mountains to know where I'm going", she said. "But yesterday, a miracle happened. I was halfway to Frontier when I realized I knew where I was going. I didn't even need to look".
July 2, 2025 at 8:45 PM
"Any time I go anywhere, Allsups, Blake's, the courthouse, I always have to look at the mountains to know where I'm going", she said. "But yesterday, a miracle happened. I was halfway to Frontier when I realized I knew where I was going. I didn't even need to look".
June 30, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Male Strip Club The Prickly Pear Coming to Albuquerque
June 16, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Male Strip Club The Prickly Pear Coming to Albuquerque