You would think with all the life changing events happening that I would do some life changing stuff. Like work out or go on adventures.

Sorry I was gone, had to re-up on Tylenol. What did I miss?

All I’m saying is that I’m seeing a lot of news networks talking about their polls but I have yet to be asked to partake in said polls. Ohmigosh do you think it’s cause they hate me? They totally hate me, right?

I really hope the new fall fashion for men involves baggy jeans and a wrinkly button up cause otherwise I’ll have to put in more effort than I’m willing to.

You would think by my age I would have a favorite sports team but still just root for whoever is winning when I start watching.

I have no evidence to prove this but I think the real Elon Musk is secretly on mars while his android replacement is on the fritz. I will not be taking questions.