Fancy Boy Brandon
@thebman.bsky.social
Occasional writer. Terrible gambler. Once came in second in a chicken wing eating competition.
@jeffpearlman.bsky.social hey Jeff. I tried to email you using your twitter feed email. Id love to send my positive words to you. What's the best waty?
July 26, 2025 at 4:34 AM
@jeffpearlman.bsky.social hey Jeff. I tried to email you using your twitter feed email. Id love to send my positive words to you. What's the best waty?
LinkedIn is wacky. Its people at work that you wouldn't trust to send out a shift report giving "deep" advice about work/life balance.
Whatever you say Mark. The paint under your nails makes me think you had plenty of time to paint your Warhammer figures, and No, I still don't wanna come see them.
Whatever you say Mark. The paint under your nails makes me think you had plenty of time to paint your Warhammer figures, and No, I still don't wanna come see them.
March 25, 2025 at 4:10 AM
LinkedIn is wacky. Its people at work that you wouldn't trust to send out a shift report giving "deep" advice about work/life balance.
Whatever you say Mark. The paint under your nails makes me think you had plenty of time to paint your Warhammer figures, and No, I still don't wanna come see them.
Whatever you say Mark. The paint under your nails makes me think you had plenty of time to paint your Warhammer figures, and No, I still don't wanna come see them.
The Righteous Gemstones, but it's just Guy Fieri's kids fighting for the right to wear his shirts.
February 20, 2025 at 2:36 AM
The Righteous Gemstones, but it's just Guy Fieri's kids fighting for the right to wear his shirts.
I've been investing extra money into crypto currency lately, which my dad says is just a waste and will leave me broke.
I do understand his skepticism. He never financially recovered from the great Beanie Baby crash of 99.
I do understand his skepticism. He never financially recovered from the great Beanie Baby crash of 99.
January 25, 2025 at 8:41 AM
I've been investing extra money into crypto currency lately, which my dad says is just a waste and will leave me broke.
I do understand his skepticism. He never financially recovered from the great Beanie Baby crash of 99.
I do understand his skepticism. He never financially recovered from the great Beanie Baby crash of 99.
Congrats to Northern Illinois for winning the transitive property runner up in the College Football Playoffs!
January 21, 2025 at 6:45 AM
Congrats to Northern Illinois for winning the transitive property runner up in the College Football Playoffs!
Investigator: "detective, the body is that of a high powered attorney from around here. We think his wife's boyfriend got jealous and murdered him."
Detective Steve Bannon removes his glasses. "More like Johnny Cuck-rane."
YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
CSI: Red State
Detective Steve Bannon removes his glasses. "More like Johnny Cuck-rane."
YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
CSI: Red State
January 9, 2025 at 11:41 AM
Investigator: "detective, the body is that of a high powered attorney from around here. We think his wife's boyfriend got jealous and murdered him."
Detective Steve Bannon removes his glasses. "More like Johnny Cuck-rane."
YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
CSI: Red State
Detective Steve Bannon removes his glasses. "More like Johnny Cuck-rane."
YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
CSI: Red State
My wife literally just now found out Brick by Ben Folds Five is about abortion.
I was casually talking about my favorite karaoke songs when it came up, in case you were wondering what a typical conversation between myself and my wife is.
I was casually talking about my favorite karaoke songs when it came up, in case you were wondering what a typical conversation between myself and my wife is.
January 6, 2025 at 2:48 AM
My wife literally just now found out Brick by Ben Folds Five is about abortion.
I was casually talking about my favorite karaoke songs when it came up, in case you were wondering what a typical conversation between myself and my wife is.
I was casually talking about my favorite karaoke songs when it came up, in case you were wondering what a typical conversation between myself and my wife is.
At our baby shower, we did one of those things where we had people fill out the trait they want each parent to give the child. Of 41 respondents, the three most common responses for me were sense of humor(17), height(8), and laugh(4).
So it's official: I'm a tall, funny uggo.
So it's official: I'm a tall, funny uggo.
December 27, 2024 at 4:46 AM
At our baby shower, we did one of those things where we had people fill out the trait they want each parent to give the child. Of 41 respondents, the three most common responses for me were sense of humor(17), height(8), and laugh(4).
So it's official: I'm a tall, funny uggo.
So it's official: I'm a tall, funny uggo.
People whining about Taylor Swift at the Super bowl are the human version of the "old man screaming at a cloud" meme.
February 12, 2024 at 7:42 AM
People whining about Taylor Swift at the Super bowl are the human version of the "old man screaming at a cloud" meme.
Keto is gout's Apex predator.
February 1, 2024 at 9:50 PM
Keto is gout's Apex predator.
Vince McMahon and Donald Trump are the same person.
January 26, 2024 at 10:44 PM
Vince McMahon and Donald Trump are the same person.
Was there anyone more nonplussed than Vince McMahon in early 90s Royal Rumbles? **10 guys trying to lift Mabel** "500 pounds of Mabel trying to hang on. Can he hang o..no he's gone."
January 22, 2024 at 5:16 AM
Was there anyone more nonplussed than Vince McMahon in early 90s Royal Rumbles? **10 guys trying to lift Mabel** "500 pounds of Mabel trying to hang on. Can he hang o..no he's gone."
I regret not the things Ive said, but very much the things Ive karaoked.
January 16, 2024 at 11:07 AM
I regret not the things Ive said, but very much the things Ive karaoked.
Yea sex is good, but have you ever gotten to deal with an overzealous safety associate at work?
January 12, 2024 at 5:34 AM
Yea sex is good, but have you ever gotten to deal with an overzealous safety associate at work?
Its Dave Matthews birthday today. Im gonna celebrate the same way ive celebrated it the past 30 years. By not listening to his awful, awful, awful music.
January 9, 2024 at 10:31 PM
Its Dave Matthews birthday today. Im gonna celebrate the same way ive celebrated it the past 30 years. By not listening to his awful, awful, awful music.
Did they play Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez at work tonight?
Yes!
Yes!
January 9, 2024 at 8:04 AM
Did they play Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez at work tonight?
Yes!
Yes!
Catching on 1000 lb Sisters and I really wasn't expecting Tammy to spend the season being the voice of reason. #1000lbsisters
January 8, 2024 at 1:10 AM
Catching on 1000 lb Sisters and I really wasn't expecting Tammy to spend the season being the voice of reason. #1000lbsisters
Social Media Party
Facebook is the party you go to where you have to keep your voice down and look at baby pictures all night.
Twitter is the party south of I80 that you know is gonna get weird after a few drinks and you will probably run into your anti vax cousin.
Facebook is the party you go to where you have to keep your voice down and look at baby pictures all night.
Twitter is the party south of I80 that you know is gonna get weird after a few drinks and you will probably run into your anti vax cousin.
January 4, 2024 at 5:30 AM
Social Media Party
Facebook is the party you go to where you have to keep your voice down and look at baby pictures all night.
Twitter is the party south of I80 that you know is gonna get weird after a few drinks and you will probably run into your anti vax cousin.
Facebook is the party you go to where you have to keep your voice down and look at baby pictures all night.
Twitter is the party south of I80 that you know is gonna get weird after a few drinks and you will probably run into your anti vax cousin.
@immatelfring.bsky.social did Podcast Killed ever do "It's Raining Men?" Just watched it (don't ask) and one of the gals was wearing a Bret Hart pink jacket that said "Mother nature" on the back. I feel like the fact that I don't own this jacket is a huge personal loss.
December 30, 2023 at 7:34 AM
@immatelfring.bsky.social did Podcast Killed ever do "It's Raining Men?" Just watched it (don't ask) and one of the gals was wearing a Bret Hart pink jacket that said "Mother nature" on the back. I feel like the fact that I don't own this jacket is a huge personal loss.
It must have been pretty neat growing up in the 80's...you know, other than the Reagan stuff.
December 30, 2023 at 7:28 AM
It must have been pretty neat growing up in the 80's...you know, other than the Reagan stuff.
Idea for a movie: Nicholas Cage gets fired from a salon for a dye job he didnt do. To get his job back, he has to steal the worlds rarest weave. The title? Con Hair.
December 20, 2023 at 9:07 PM
Idea for a movie: Nicholas Cage gets fired from a salon for a dye job he didnt do. To get his job back, he has to steal the worlds rarest weave. The title? Con Hair.
**in extremely Cajun tone** We got all sorts of stuff and whatnot to paint. Come on in and paint yourself an alligator tail. Take out your artistic bent on some crawdads. All that and more at Ceramics Swamp!
December 16, 2023 at 7:55 AM
**in extremely Cajun tone** We got all sorts of stuff and whatnot to paint. Come on in and paint yourself an alligator tail. Take out your artistic bent on some crawdads. All that and more at Ceramics Swamp!
An older woman at my work is wearing a shirt that says:
THREE
ONE
SIX
Now, I know that she is wearing it as a religious shirt, but deep down id love to see her get mad and start Stone Cold Stunnering people.
THREE
ONE
SIX
Now, I know that she is wearing it as a religious shirt, but deep down id love to see her get mad and start Stone Cold Stunnering people.
December 8, 2023 at 9:09 PM
An older woman at my work is wearing a shirt that says:
THREE
ONE
SIX
Now, I know that she is wearing it as a religious shirt, but deep down id love to see her get mad and start Stone Cold Stunnering people.
THREE
ONE
SIX
Now, I know that she is wearing it as a religious shirt, but deep down id love to see her get mad and start Stone Cold Stunnering people.
I wear flannel during the winter, hang out at the local watering hole, and never left my hometown.
I'm every good guy in Hallmark Christmas movies that people hate.
I'm every good guy in Hallmark Christmas movies that people hate.
December 8, 2023 at 5:18 AM
I wear flannel during the winter, hang out at the local watering hole, and never left my hometown.
I'm every good guy in Hallmark Christmas movies that people hate.
I'm every good guy in Hallmark Christmas movies that people hate.
Did they play Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez at work tonight?
Yes!
Yes!
November 7, 2023 at 9:50 AM
Did they play Born To Be Alive by Patrick Hernandez at work tonight?
Yes!
Yes!