I sleepin. Dreaming of genie. Every day I dream of genie. Every night I see the genie.
May 4, 2025 at 4:20 AM
I sleepin. Dreaming of genie. Every day I dream of genie. Every night I see the genie.
“Coming home to a freshly eaten pie and licking up each crumb like a anteater eating ants makes every day just a little less worth it” -Aristotle
March 15, 2025 at 6:14 PM
“Coming home to a freshly eaten pie and licking up each crumb like a anteater eating ants makes every day just a little less worth it” -Aristotle
“This doesn’t taste anything like tuna fish”
-Me, eating tuna fish
-Me, eating tuna fish
February 7, 2025 at 5:23 AM
“This doesn’t taste anything like tuna fish”
-Me, eating tuna fish
-Me, eating tuna fish
I’ve got a heart full of spinach and a mind full of celery and all I want is for someone to GARDEN ME
January 25, 2025 at 1:03 AM
I’ve got a heart full of spinach and a mind full of celery and all I want is for someone to GARDEN ME
GHOULS. GHOSTS. GOBLINS. What do they have in common? That’s right. They’re all eating Pudding right now in SPOOKY HEAVEN
January 20, 2025 at 4:59 PM
GHOULS. GHOSTS. GOBLINS. What do they have in common? That’s right. They’re all eating Pudding right now in SPOOKY HEAVEN
Now THAT’s what I call suCKing power!
December 31, 2024 at 3:53 PM
Now THAT’s what I call suCKing power!
Vet Inspired Chewing Texture!
December 25, 2024 at 10:13 PM
Vet Inspired Chewing Texture!
DID YOU KNOW…
Cleopatra was reborn as the Charmin Papa Bear and that’s why his bottom is so smooth and paper free?
Cleopatra was reborn as the Charmin Papa Bear and that’s why his bottom is so smooth and paper free?
December 23, 2024 at 4:13 AM
DID YOU KNOW…
Cleopatra was reborn as the Charmin Papa Bear and that’s why his bottom is so smooth and paper free?
Cleopatra was reborn as the Charmin Papa Bear and that’s why his bottom is so smooth and paper free?
Big pharma call me I have the next great idea for pills (tastes like rhubarb)
December 23, 2024 at 4:00 AM
Big pharma call me I have the next great idea for pills (tastes like rhubarb)
I HAVE ACHIEVED NIRVANA AND THAT IS WHY I DO WHT I DO
December 23, 2024 at 3:56 AM
I HAVE ACHIEVED NIRVANA AND THAT IS WHY I DO WHT I DO
Charcuterie boards may have salamami and pepperoni and pickles but I’ve got 23 grams of saturated fat in my sweaty palm so who’s the real Meat Queen™️ really?
December 21, 2024 at 11:41 PM
Charcuterie boards may have salamami and pepperoni and pickles but I’ve got 23 grams of saturated fat in my sweaty palm so who’s the real Meat Queen™️ really?
Merlin didn’t actually have a beard, he just slathered his face in honey and used his Merlin magic to make it look like hair
December 14, 2024 at 4:42 AM
Merlin didn’t actually have a beard, he just slathered his face in honey and used his Merlin magic to make it look like hair
WHEW that lemon is TART
December 13, 2024 at 6:00 AM
WHEW that lemon is TART
Eat A Bowl Of Soup Everyday (Minestrone). You Won’t Believe What Happens!!!
December 11, 2024 at 2:39 PM
Eat A Bowl Of Soup Everyday (Minestrone). You Won’t Believe What Happens!!!
Sorry I missed the Game last night, I was getting the fleece surgically implanted into my skin so I could finally feel what it’s like to be REI
December 6, 2024 at 6:19 AM
Sorry I missed the Game last night, I was getting the fleece surgically implanted into my skin so I could finally feel what it’s like to be REI
Hook the toilet tube straight up to my Neat Little Bottom I’ve got something special up there
December 4, 2024 at 6:12 AM
Hook the toilet tube straight up to my Neat Little Bottom I’ve got something special up there
Hambone hambone hambone hambone hambone (say it 3 times)
November 29, 2024 at 8:35 PM
Hambone hambone hambone hambone hambone (say it 3 times)
Elise R.B. please call me back I have so many tamales in the back of my truck please respond
November 29, 2024 at 2:33 AM
Elise R.B. please call me back I have so many tamales in the back of my truck please respond
“Oh, he ate”
-future generations to me, after winning a NoBel Peace Prize for making The Sauce
-future generations to me, after winning a NoBel Peace Prize for making The Sauce
November 25, 2024 at 3:36 PM
“Oh, he ate”
-future generations to me, after winning a NoBel Peace Prize for making The Sauce
-future generations to me, after winning a NoBel Peace Prize for making The Sauce
Bumping James Corden diss tracks on the 8-track like it’s 1784
November 25, 2024 at 3:20 PM
Bumping James Corden diss tracks on the 8-track like it’s 1784
I’ve got the Monkey Madness!™️
November 25, 2024 at 6:37 AM
I’ve got the Monkey Madness!™️
You ever wonder about boats? Like, how are they doing that?
November 25, 2024 at 6:27 AM
You ever wonder about boats? Like, how are they doing that?