Audrey
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theaud.bsky.social
Audrey
@theaud.bsky.social
210 followers 140 following 150 posts
Former Tumblr girlie. More of a lurker.
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theaud.bsky.social
i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 
December 31, 2025 at 10:22 AM
theaud.bsky.social
For perspective, this is my plan for 2 people and I’m still trying to decide if I can manage another side or two. This covers breakfast through dinner and I’m making small portions of everything, but variety is the goal. I do not enjoy green bean casserole.
Thanksgiving menu: Gingerbread cinnamon rolls, quiche, cheese board with apples, prime rib with Cabernet reduction, turkey, mashed potatoes & gravy, Brussels sprouts with bacon and goat cheese, cranberry sauce, sourdough bread, mini apple pie, mini pecan pie.
November 24, 2025 at 1:42 PM
theaud.bsky.social
“Disappointed but not surprised”
Instagram post from 2022, in which Stephen’s wife required stitches after she injured her toe setting up for church service. The caption ends with a joke, “Now go set up the rest of the chairs.” I would not find this funny, but I did not marry a mega church pastor who once wrote a baffling essay about cheating on every girlfriend he ever had.
October 22, 2025 at 11:10 AM
theaud.bsky.social
On the eve of her 2nd gotcha day, I made Barbara shrimp. You can see how much she appreciates it.
In the foreground, a small blue bowl contains two shrimp, cut into several small pieces. Just behind the bowl, an incredibly spoiled brown tabby is curled up like a croissant on her designated chair at the dinner table, her back to the feast, disinterested. A small Lambchop toy is nestled by her feet.
August 29, 2025 at 11:08 PM
theaud.bsky.social
This is my go to for pizza dough. I make up to a triple batch and freeze individually. I start with 1/3 cup discard but if the dough needs more liquid, I add more starter. Bake pizza 12-15 minutes at 450. Also good for a savory galette or shallow quiche.
-5 cups flour - 2.5 tsp salt - 2.5 tsp instant yeast - 1 Tbsp olive oil - 1/3 cup sourdough discard -Knead 5-10 minutes in mixer (or by hand) - Freeze - Thaw up to 1 week in refrigerator followed by 2-4 hours on counter to rise OR roughly 12 hours on counter
August 10, 2025 at 2:16 PM
theaud.bsky.social
Me too 🥹
A brown tabby is curled up with her Lambchop toy in her box at the dinner table. She needs to be included at all times. A brown tabby with white paws and beautiful eyes stares up at you from the stairs. Her back legs are on one step and her front paws are extended to the step below.
August 8, 2025 at 9:05 PM
theaud.bsky.social
Barbara.
A fierce brown tabby with white paws has trapped her jellyfish toy with all four limbs. A brown tabby has stolen a red potato. In moments, she will abscond with her prize.
August 8, 2025 at 8:57 PM
theaud.bsky.social
Honestly, the best internet era was cat internet era. We could use more cats doing mundane cat things over here.
A brown tabby with white paws is flopped on her side atop purple sheets. She is dramatically licking her own shoulder. Her mouth is wide open and her tongue is exposed. It is not a flattering photo. A brown tabby with white paws is sprawled out on a half made bed. She is looking out a window out of frame. She doesn’t care if the guest room is ready for your sister in law’s visit.
June 24, 2025 at 11:43 PM
theaud.bsky.social
LADY, STOP. @paperbackparadise.bsky.social
A satirical summary of a fictional book, published by Paperback Paradise for some reason.
April 24, 2025 at 8:29 PM
theaud.bsky.social
Barbara, aka Babs. The belly is rarely a trap.
A small brown tabby with white paws sits on a space themed scratching couch. A larger brown tabby is sprawled out atop layers of blankets as if she owns the place. She is correct.
February 18, 2025 at 8:40 PM
theaud.bsky.social
Look at this ridiculous creature
A brown tabby with white pats is sleeping on her back, fuzzy belly up in the air. She doesn’t even know what a tax bracket is.
February 9, 2025 at 3:35 AM
theaud.bsky.social
Sourdough bagels. Baking an unfamiliar recipe in an unfamiliar oven probably wasn’t the best idea, but not a bad start.

Left to right: Plain, Sesame, Everything, and Asiago with Herbs de Provence. #pinkskyPost
February 1, 2025 at 7:59 PM
theaud.bsky.social
It’s silly, but my irrational cookware desire is the Staub artichoke, so I can’t judge.
3 qt artichoke cocotte by Staub
December 18, 2024 at 1:58 AM
theaud.bsky.social
Spread. Aesthetically, the epi baguette wreath & cheese plate could be better, but I’m not mad.
Mini apple and pecan pies, mashed potatoes, Brussels sprouts, cranberry sauce, prime rib, macaroni and cheese, and an epi baguette wreath
November 28, 2024 at 11:34 PM
theaud.bsky.social
I once dyed my hair blue a full 6 months before realizing I should just dump the guy I was dating. Still miss the hair!
21 year old Audrey smiles at the camera. A streak of her hair is dyed manic panic blue. She is wearing a very 2012 turquoise and silver statement necklace.
November 26, 2024 at 11:52 AM
theaud.bsky.social
With so many of my Twitter friends migrating this way, I look forward to continuing my trend of almost never posting. anyway, here’s a picture of my cat.
A brown tabby named Barbara stares at the spring toy being held behind the camera to trick her into posing nicely. In the background, a small apartment is littered with empty boxes she refuses to let us recycle. Please help us, we are so tired of living in chaos.
November 20, 2024 at 5:32 PM