Pinned
This meeting could’ve been a frolic across the meadow.
When did Instagram stop being somewhere for happy snaps and start being my portal to the horrors? Every day I go on there and see death.
January 25, 2026 at 2:23 AM
When did Instagram stop being somewhere for happy snaps and start being my portal to the horrors? Every day I go on there and see death.
But how did Mr Beast get all this money he keeps giving people?
January 23, 2026 at 9:37 AM
But how did Mr Beast get all this money he keeps giving people?
Trumps latest announcement:
January 23, 2026 at 5:09 AM
Trumps latest announcement:
Plot synopses of my recent dreams
* Iggy Pop is my vampire sire
* Getting asked out for drinks by the LEGO kids party dude
* Naked at the opera (again)
* BUT WHERE’S THE BABY?!?
* Best friend is now this guy
* Iggy Pop is my vampire sire
* Getting asked out for drinks by the LEGO kids party dude
* Naked at the opera (again)
* BUT WHERE’S THE BABY?!?
* Best friend is now this guy
a man in a hat and sunglasses is talking to a woman in a black shirt .
ALT: a man in a hat and sunglasses is talking to a woman in a black shirt .
media.tenor.com
January 21, 2026 at 9:13 AM
Plot synopses of my recent dreams
* Iggy Pop is my vampire sire
* Getting asked out for drinks by the LEGO kids party dude
* Naked at the opera (again)
* BUT WHERE’S THE BABY?!?
* Best friend is now this guy
* Iggy Pop is my vampire sire
* Getting asked out for drinks by the LEGO kids party dude
* Naked at the opera (again)
* BUT WHERE’S THE BABY?!?
* Best friend is now this guy
I love how terrible every item of clothing in the Vinnies Online store looks. Nothing is styled well or properly lit, most items are on the wrong gender mannequin. It all looks just awful even though they are doing their absolute best, and gosh, isn’t that compelling?
January 19, 2026 at 8:58 AM
I love how terrible every item of clothing in the Vinnies Online store looks. Nothing is styled well or properly lit, most items are on the wrong gender mannequin. It all looks just awful even though they are doing their absolute best, and gosh, isn’t that compelling?
This is what they wanted, right?
January 19, 2026 at 1:51 AM
This is what they wanted, right?
I’m a reasonably successful and fulfilled person. I have a career I enjoy. I’m a mother, a partner and friend. But I do wish for more. I want to be able to confidently identify different kinds of rocks and give you a rough idea of how old they are.
January 18, 2026 at 9:49 PM
I’m a reasonably successful and fulfilled person. I have a career I enjoy. I’m a mother, a partner and friend. But I do wish for more. I want to be able to confidently identify different kinds of rocks and give you a rough idea of how old they are.
This meeting could’ve been a frolic across the meadow.
January 16, 2026 at 4:11 AM
This meeting could’ve been a frolic across the meadow.
We weren’t friends. See, she didn’t suffer fools gladly, and this is me
January 15, 2026 at 8:41 AM
We weren’t friends. See, she didn’t suffer fools gladly, and this is me
Does anyone know how Batman became Batman? That guy’s origins are so mysterious.
January 13, 2026 at 11:03 AM
Does anyone know how Batman became Batman? That guy’s origins are so mysterious.
Some book genres I could use recommendations for:
-Neanderthal murder mystery
-Ghost story set at Stonehenge
-Waltzing Matilda prequels
-Neanderthal murder mystery
-Ghost story set at Stonehenge
-Waltzing Matilda prequels
January 13, 2026 at 10:13 AM
Some book genres I could use recommendations for:
-Neanderthal murder mystery
-Ghost story set at Stonehenge
-Waltzing Matilda prequels
-Neanderthal murder mystery
-Ghost story set at Stonehenge
-Waltzing Matilda prequels
There was an incident
January 11, 2026 at 9:15 PM
There was an incident
The grass around Stonehenge is clearly regularly mowed. My question is, how does one get that job?
January 11, 2026 at 10:12 AM
The grass around Stonehenge is clearly regularly mowed. My question is, how does one get that job?
Today, civilians wearing hoodies outdoors may get punched.
January 10, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Today, civilians wearing hoodies outdoors may get punched.
During a heatwave, experts recommend drinking a crispy can of Coke Zero in a cool shower.
January 10, 2026 at 12:54 AM
During a heatwave, experts recommend drinking a crispy can of Coke Zero in a cool shower.
‘I’ll wait till I feel better about my body before I buy new clothes,’ she said, unknowingly committing to never removing her decaying wedding dress, wearing only one shoe, leaving the wedding breakfast and cake to rot on the table, in her decaying mansion until she dies alone in a fire.
January 9, 2026 at 7:10 AM
‘I’ll wait till I feel better about my body before I buy new clothes,’ she said, unknowingly committing to never removing her decaying wedding dress, wearing only one shoe, leaving the wedding breakfast and cake to rot on the table, in her decaying mansion until she dies alone in a fire.
I wish I could text my four year old during my work day, let her know when I’ve seen a fire engine or suggest we go swimming tomorrow.
January 7, 2026 at 11:31 PM
I wish I could text my four year old during my work day, let her know when I’ve seen a fire engine or suggest we go swimming tomorrow.
And that concludes Hippo Talk for today
January 7, 2026 at 6:07 AM
And that concludes Hippo Talk for today
Adult Hippopotamuses are not particularly good swimmers, nor can they float. They enters deep water; when they does, the animal moves by bouncing off the bottom. Bouncing off the bottom. Hippos are deeply unserious animals and have no right to be as dangerous as they are.
January 7, 2026 at 6:03 AM
Adult Hippopotamuses are not particularly good swimmers, nor can they float. They enters deep water; when they does, the animal moves by bouncing off the bottom. Bouncing off the bottom. Hippos are deeply unserious animals and have no right to be as dangerous as they are.
Hippopotamuses’ bites are so strong that they can bite a crocodile in half. Crocodiles want to know why we chose this metric.
January 7, 2026 at 5:57 AM
Hippopotamuses’ bites are so strong that they can bite a crocodile in half. Crocodiles want to know why we chose this metric.
‘Hippopotamus’ is ‘river horse’ in Latin. The horse in question:
January 7, 2026 at 5:54 AM
‘Hippopotamus’ is ‘river horse’ in Latin. The horse in question:
The reason hippopotamuses are considered Africa's deadliest large land mammal is because that crocodile came on too strong when they were dancing ballet that time and now they all want revenge.
January 7, 2026 at 5:52 AM
The reason hippopotamuses are considered Africa's deadliest large land mammal is because that crocodile came on too strong when they were dancing ballet that time and now they all want revenge.
If we’re putting Americans in UK @taskmaster.tv, I implore the producers to consider @pftompkins.bsky.social
January 6, 2026 at 9:33 PM
If we’re putting Americans in UK @taskmaster.tv, I implore the producers to consider @pftompkins.bsky.social
We’re living in the Biff Tannen timeline.
January 6, 2026 at 9:23 AM
We’re living in the Biff Tannen timeline.