Smoking the urn like it’s a bowl

Colors are lowkey kind of a wack thing to have a favorite of if you think about it

you don’t really go to the genie to get your wishes fulfilled. you go for the experience

You know, the native Indians of this land used to fetishize all parts of the woman

*Spotify dj voice* alright. It’s time for a new vibe. Let’s hear barbecue heapster

Imo, at least in the past century, most relationships have had the man being slightly older (obviously with numerous exceptions). the only possible explanation is that women are just, on average, younger than men are.

doing your mom normal style and there’s literally nothing you can do about it

the internet was invented for science, the military, and porn. you can really only try to stop it from being used for the first two

I would have the dinner with Jay Z over any amount of money. Not because i think the dinner with Jay Z will allow me to make more money in the long run, but because I REALLY like Jay Z

On tinder you match with someone and then never dm them. On bumble you match with someone and they never dm you. On grindr someone messages you “Hi” and they’re 23 feet away and have no pictures

Just got off the phone with Obama. he said he isn’t proud of me.

I’m the duke of duchovny

portland, maine. the lesser of two portlands

i ain’t never heard of a rapper saying panned stew

reclining with a bag of chips to enjoy Wings of Desire (1987) at 2x speed with subway surfers in the corner of the frame & family guy on your phone, & you’re in a discord call with a friend who’s yelling bc “dude’s spawncamping.” it sounds like his microphone is in his mouth, and

for me it’s less a marketplace of ideas and more an ideological dojo

Man fuck my dealer man. My shit laced with worms