@terry1q84.bsky.social
...anything at all of you, the world seems far less valuable.
December 4, 2025 at 4:24 AM
...anything at all of you, the world seems far less valuable.
This has all been just this incredible, unanticipated struggle.
I think you know for you I would do anything. The actual answer as to why I forgot that answer--I just don't know. Fate? Minor Gods? Outside actors? I don't know. I am on the verge of something big, but without ....
I think you know for you I would do anything. The actual answer as to why I forgot that answer--I just don't know. Fate? Minor Gods? Outside actors? I don't know. I am on the verge of something big, but without ....
December 4, 2025 at 4:23 AM
This has all been just this incredible, unanticipated struggle.
I think you know for you I would do anything. The actual answer as to why I forgot that answer--I just don't know. Fate? Minor Gods? Outside actors? I don't know. I am on the verge of something big, but without ....
I think you know for you I would do anything. The actual answer as to why I forgot that answer--I just don't know. Fate? Minor Gods? Outside actors? I don't know. I am on the verge of something big, but without ....
I guess I should sum this up. I never had a negative thought about you. I thought we were going to be friends, at least. That didn't turn out the way I thought it would. Still, 32 years later I am fighting for it. I don't ask much. I can go almost forever on an hour.
December 4, 2025 at 4:21 AM
I guess I should sum this up. I never had a negative thought about you. I thought we were going to be friends, at least. That didn't turn out the way I thought it would. Still, 32 years later I am fighting for it. I don't ask much. I can go almost forever on an hour.
For my own part, it has been a difficult life. I set before myself a very big problem, deconstruction of all global catastrophic risks in one fell swoop. Of course, it would never be that easy, but that is how i conceived of it.
December 4, 2025 at 4:18 AM
For my own part, it has been a difficult life. I set before myself a very big problem, deconstruction of all global catastrophic risks in one fell swoop. Of course, it would never be that easy, but that is how i conceived of it.
I know you have a fully developed other life now i am not trying to dispute any of that or signal non-acceptance of all the cool things you have done over many years passed.
December 4, 2025 at 4:17 AM
I know you have a fully developed other life now i am not trying to dispute any of that or signal non-acceptance of all the cool things you have done over many years passed.
I want you to realize we are involved in something much bigger. I don't know why us. I can say that i have never met anyone even remotely like you in a pretty long life of experience, meeting people, meeting women, there is absolutely no one who even remotely reminds me of you.
December 4, 2025 at 4:17 AM
I want you to realize we are involved in something much bigger. I don't know why us. I can say that i have never met anyone even remotely like you in a pretty long life of experience, meeting people, meeting women, there is absolutely no one who even remotely reminds me of you.
My point is not to go over this again. It's that if you want to we can declare the statute of limitations up on all that. But the problem is, my unrealized desire for your friendship is still a strong felt need. it is in fact something that is almost impossible to bear.
December 4, 2025 at 4:16 AM
My point is not to go over this again. It's that if you want to we can declare the statute of limitations up on all that. But the problem is, my unrealized desire for your friendship is still a strong felt need. it is in fact something that is almost impossible to bear.
I was just embarased that i had come to your door seemingly out of nowhere in the middle of the night. Thus when you slammed the door and bolted it, i felt very chastened.
December 4, 2025 at 4:14 AM
I was just embarased that i had come to your door seemingly out of nowhere in the middle of the night. Thus when you slammed the door and bolted it, i felt very chastened.
But let's say it was Erzulie Dantor who yanked the upgrade from my mind, the thing you gave me. Taht would explain yhe total lack of memory, and why i blew past you the very next morning. You with your grave eyes, expecting some kind of response.
December 4, 2025 at 4:14 AM
But let's say it was Erzulie Dantor who yanked the upgrade from my mind, the thing you gave me. Taht would explain yhe total lack of memory, and why i blew past you the very next morning. You with your grave eyes, expecting some kind of response.
Fictionally at least, when i write about that hour, I feel that the Erzulie clan was experimenting on human beings--that's beacsue as minor gods, they need us for hearts to feed on. Fictionally speaking, i arrived on that one answer, there are others.
December 4, 2025 at 4:13 AM
Fictionally at least, when i write about that hour, I feel that the Erzulie clan was experimenting on human beings--that's beacsue as minor gods, they need us for hearts to feed on. Fictionally speaking, i arrived on that one answer, there are others.
Did it ever occur to you that a person like yourself might be the perfect spirit medium? And what about me? I felt i was inhabited too. I couldn't move or speak. Didn't you notice how quiescent I became? That's not like me.
December 4, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Did it ever occur to you that a person like yourself might be the perfect spirit medium? And what about me? I felt i was inhabited too. I couldn't move or speak. Didn't you notice how quiescent I became? That's not like me.
Did ou not intend anything like that? Maybe you intended to just serve tea and we could talk and get to know each other. Don't know if i've mentioned this to you before, but ther was that exposed Erzulie flag on the other side of the wall just a few feet from your head, when you were making the tea.
December 4, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Did ou not intend anything like that? Maybe you intended to just serve tea and we could talk and get to know each other. Don't know if i've mentioned this to you before, but ther was that exposed Erzulie flag on the other side of the wall just a few feet from your head, when you were making the tea.
That was one of my primary spiritual experiences, something else was happening there. something i cannot explain. The details i later found were of a classic experience of some member of the Erzulie family.
December 4, 2025 at 4:10 AM
That was one of my primary spiritual experiences, something else was happening there. something i cannot explain. The details i later found were of a classic experience of some member of the Erzulie family.
Have you ever wondered what it is was like to sit across from you in that kitchen? It was really very hallucinatory. Especially when you leaned forward and locked on. I had never felt a force like that. Did that seem just like a normal moment to you? look, no matter what that was, it's ok.
December 4, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Have you ever wondered what it is was like to sit across from you in that kitchen? It was really very hallucinatory. Especially when you leaned forward and locked on. I had never felt a force like that. Did that seem just like a normal moment to you? look, no matter what that was, it's ok.
When i think about it--well, have i ever been rude to you? no. have i ever tried to hurt you? no. did i try to make contact with you in NYC. Yes, I did. You never knew that i had been maimed for the information, the very best part of me, your "upgrade" was for some reason, taken away from me.
December 4, 2025 at 4:08 AM
When i think about it--well, have i ever been rude to you? no. have i ever tried to hurt you? no. did i try to make contact with you in NYC. Yes, I did. You never knew that i had been maimed for the information, the very best part of me, your "upgrade" was for some reason, taken away from me.
I've never had a word to say against you to anyone. I have only held you in the highest regard. I have repsected you really above any other person I ever met. I've had the whole range of feelings. Still I find myself just getting exterminated over here. Why?
December 4, 2025 at 4:07 AM
I've never had a word to say against you to anyone. I have only held you in the highest regard. I have repsected you really above any other person I ever met. I've had the whole range of feelings. Still I find myself just getting exterminated over here. Why?
What other person's sabatoged this, and why? Person #3 had a very stupid reason. In fact, I do believe you tried to save me from her. I greatly appreciate that, too. I'm sorry I didn't get it right away. I don't know why you do things the way you do, but I respect it.
December 4, 2025 at 4:05 AM
What other person's sabatoged this, and why? Person #3 had a very stupid reason. In fact, I do believe you tried to save me from her. I greatly appreciate that, too. I'm sorry I didn't get it right away. I don't know why you do things the way you do, but I respect it.
Yes myu thoughts do go to you always, i lay down and think, how am i going to solve this. All i ever wanted was to be your friend, in the beginning, why did it turn out to be so hard. How did intractible elements get handed into the mix.
December 4, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Yes myu thoughts do go to you always, i lay down and think, how am i going to solve this. All i ever wanted was to be your friend, in the beginning, why did it turn out to be so hard. How did intractible elements get handed into the mix.
Actually, i tink of the film, Giant, again. Elizabeth Taylor saying, when Rock Hudson's sister dies spurring the prize horze, Elizabeth Taylor just says in a very mature voice, "This is a terrible tragedy and no one's to blame."
One of my favorite films.
One of my favorite films.
December 4, 2025 at 4:04 AM
Actually, i tink of the film, Giant, again. Elizabeth Taylor saying, when Rock Hudson's sister dies spurring the prize horze, Elizabeth Taylor just says in a very mature voice, "This is a terrible tragedy and no one's to blame."
One of my favorite films.
One of my favorite films.
I didn't know you thought that. It's so transcendentaly weird. Yet somehow you are entangled in all this. When I stop working, it all comes back to me, if you posted when a man loves a woman, that song, to make me realize I am on the outside--oh, i well know that Patsy. I get it. I am the loser.
December 4, 2025 at 4:03 AM
I didn't know you thought that. It's so transcendentaly weird. Yet somehow you are entangled in all this. When I stop working, it all comes back to me, if you posted when a man loves a woman, that song, to make me realize I am on the outside--oh, i well know that Patsy. I get it. I am the loser.
32 years later i seem to be even further behind than ever. In fact, I just don't know if I've ever heard of a disaster like this one. You yourself were never cruel to me, even when you walked away--now, at least, i get that. It's because you thought I knew.
December 4, 2025 at 4:02 AM
32 years later i seem to be even further behind than ever. In fact, I just don't know if I've ever heard of a disaster like this one. You yourself were never cruel to me, even when you walked away--now, at least, i get that. It's because you thought I knew.
and from what seemed like a very good start, a happy first meeting, somehow was hewn out only pain, miscommunication, mystery, unknown forces, outside actors (person no. 3) always influencing events
December 4, 2025 at 4:01 AM
and from what seemed like a very good start, a happy first meeting, somehow was hewn out only pain, miscommunication, mystery, unknown forces, outside actors (person no. 3) always influencing events
That's where the broken heart really started because I just didn't understand what had caused that. Now when i think back on this incredibly painful "relationship" this attempt to commnicate I just can't believe it is still ongoing....
December 4, 2025 at 4:00 AM
That's where the broken heart really started because I just didn't understand what had caused that. Now when i think back on this incredibly painful "relationship" this attempt to commnicate I just can't believe it is still ongoing....