Nicki Minazi.

There I said it.

I woke up after my wisdom tooth surgery a few months ago and the surgeon told me I started laughing when I heard the bone cracking sounds.

There's a clinical psychologist out there that needs a new subject for their research paper, I'm sure of it.

Normal ppl's search history:

• Porn
• "Why do cats have whiskers"
• "Why do we still have Daylight Savings Time?"

My search history:

• "Is being right a kink"

*Me after my cat stuck his butthole in my face. Rudely. Mannerless. Seething with anarchal madness*:

"You'll just let anyone have your butthole huh? You're like a Mormon prostitute."

"Nothing like cracking open a cold one with the boys after a long day of work"
I say as I open a fresh pint of lactose free Ben & Jerry's ice cream

This message brought to you by Harriet Tubman, an actual person who actually lived.

For anyone still wondering why there isn't a "straight pride month":

Come check out our YouTube channel where we attempt to build a farm in Stardew Valley! #youtubeshort #stardewvalley