Ted Kaplan
@tedtocks.bsky.social
Blessed with a good sense of eggs
Pinned
Ted Kaplan
@tedtocks.bsky.social
· Jul 9
They Might Be Giants is a CIA project to diagnose 13 year olds with autism
@natanlast.bsky.social fellow Stuy '07 here, not sure if you remember me but I think we were in one of Polazzo's classes! really enjoying your new book, I think it's motivating me to attempt ACPT this year!
December 19, 2025 at 7:02 PM
@natanlast.bsky.social fellow Stuy '07 here, not sure if you remember me but I think we were in one of Polazzo's classes! really enjoying your new book, I think it's motivating me to attempt ACPT this year!
It’s a good thing chickens don’t fly otherwise it would completely mess up the surf/turf dichotomy
December 9, 2025 at 3:18 AM
It’s a good thing chickens don’t fly otherwise it would completely mess up the surf/turf dichotomy
the Logitech® MX Master 2S™ scroll wheel is a fidget spinner
August 26, 2025 at 11:20 PM
the Logitech® MX Master 2S™ scroll wheel is a fidget spinner
you might not like it but this is what peak performance looks like
August 5, 2025 at 5:56 PM
you might not like it but this is what peak performance looks like
Merriweather Post Pavilion is an excessively horny album
July 29, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Merriweather Post Pavilion is an excessively horny album
is anything as satisfying as digging all the pocket lint out of your phone's USB-Cussy
July 23, 2025 at 6:59 AM
is anything as satisfying as digging all the pocket lint out of your phone's USB-Cussy
the iPhone keyboard correcting "oy" to "it" is antisemitism
July 21, 2025 at 10:34 PM
the iPhone keyboard correcting "oy" to "it" is antisemitism
How come a Pollo Loco is delicious but everyone freaks out when it’s a mad cow
July 11, 2025 at 3:57 AM
How come a Pollo Loco is delicious but everyone freaks out when it’s a mad cow
it’s too bad nobody has figured out how to simulate power washing
July 11, 2025 at 2:18 AM
it’s too bad nobody has figured out how to simulate power washing
the sad part about watching strongman competitions is you keep waiting for their heads to explode and they never do :(
July 10, 2025 at 6:21 AM
the sad part about watching strongman competitions is you keep waiting for their heads to explode and they never do :(
I will post on whichever platform has the highest ratio of people that engage with my content to nazis
July 9, 2025 at 3:38 AM
I will post on whichever platform has the highest ratio of people that engage with my content to nazis
They Might Be Giants is a CIA project to diagnose 13 year olds with autism
July 9, 2025 at 3:33 AM
They Might Be Giants is a CIA project to diagnose 13 year olds with autism
All this turmoil makes me want to just chill out and watch a Marvel
June 13, 2025 at 2:52 AM
All this turmoil makes me want to just chill out and watch a Marvel
Unfortunately Brian Wilson (RIP) was correct, Shortnin’ Bread *is* the greatest song ever written for no particular reason
June 12, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Unfortunately Brian Wilson (RIP) was correct, Shortnin’ Bread *is* the greatest song ever written for no particular reason
it's fine to make us go back to the office but each employee should get their own bathroom. we should be able to keep stuff in there
June 12, 2025 at 4:17 PM
it's fine to make us go back to the office but each employee should get their own bathroom. we should be able to keep stuff in there
Karaoke machines should let you do podcasts
June 7, 2025 at 4:52 AM
Karaoke machines should let you do podcasts
found out the Lawrence Caltrain station is named after the guy that used to run the station. how many train stations are just named after Guys en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrenc...
Lawrence station (Caltrain) - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
June 4, 2025 at 7:29 PM
found out the Lawrence Caltrain station is named after the guy that used to run the station. how many train stations are just named after Guys en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrenc...
we're so back
June 3, 2025 at 4:00 PM
we're so back
I think I had the most "adult" dream of my life last night which involved me spontaneously buying an antique car followed by dread knowing that I had nowhere to park it and worse I had failed to obtain the correct paperwork to transfer the title through the DMV
June 2, 2025 at 7:28 PM
I think I had the most "adult" dream of my life last night which involved me spontaneously buying an antique car followed by dread knowing that I had nowhere to park it and worse I had failed to obtain the correct paperwork to transfer the title through the DMV
If I was a Honda Accord on I-280 I would simply drive one hundred miles per hour
May 30, 2025 at 3:00 AM
If I was a Honda Accord on I-280 I would simply drive one hundred miles per hour
given bsky's general lack of algorithmic feeds, are you supposed to be tagging your posts if you're a low follower acct? twitter habits tell me that it's cringe but would be nice to not be posting into the void
May 19, 2025 at 9:48 PM
given bsky's general lack of algorithmic feeds, are you supposed to be tagging your posts if you're a low follower acct? twitter habits tell me that it's cringe but would be nice to not be posting into the void
is the 22 fillmore drunk
May 19, 2025 at 9:43 PM
is the 22 fillmore drunk
finally we will have justice for the Menudo brothers
May 14, 2025 at 3:10 AM
finally we will have justice for the Menudo brothers
If I were building a ship, I would model it after the state of Arkansas, in a manner such that every detail would be reproduced at a 1:1 scale
April 30, 2025 at 5:29 PM
If I were building a ship, I would model it after the state of Arkansas, in a manner such that every detail would be reproduced at a 1:1 scale