Teddy Tutson
@teddytutson.bsky.social
Everybody keeps on talking about it. Nobody's getting it done.
Many, MANY hours later...the bags are secured
November 20, 2024 at 2:33 PM
Many, MANY hours later...the bags are secured
An update on the drive thru
November 20, 2024 at 2:19 PM
An update on the drive thru
Are these people illegally parked or waiting in the drive thru line? Trick question! The answer is both!
November 20, 2024 at 2:05 PM
Are these people illegally parked or waiting in the drive thru line? Trick question! The answer is both!
Doing my civic duty and ordering a gratuitous amount of spicy chicken sandwiches from Popeyes
November 20, 2024 at 1:19 PM
Doing my civic duty and ordering a gratuitous amount of spicy chicken sandwiches from Popeyes
Goddamn that shit is straight fire
November 20, 2024 at 1:51 PM
Goddamn that shit is straight fire
Super excited to announce that I have been selected to perform at the 2019 Dallas Comedy Festival! Looking forward to doing the damn thing at my first ever comedy festival! #2019DCF
November 20, 2024 at 1:51 PM
Super excited to announce that I have been selected to perform at the 2019 Dallas Comedy Festival! Looking forward to doing the damn thing at my first ever comedy festival! #2019DCF
HOWARD SCHULTZ: "I love our country, and I am seriously considering running for president as a centrist independent."
EVERYONE ELSE:
EVERYONE ELSE:
November 20, 2024 at 1:51 PM
HOWARD SCHULTZ: "I love our country, and I am seriously considering running for president as a centrist independent."
EVERYONE ELSE:
EVERYONE ELSE:
So Sarah Sanders is a snowflake. Got it
November 20, 2024 at 1:51 PM
So Sarah Sanders is a snowflake. Got it
🎶 ONE IS THE LOOOOONLIIIIIIIIIIIIEST NUMBER THAT YOU'LL EVER DOOOOOOOOO 🎶
November 20, 2024 at 2:19 PM
🎶 ONE IS THE LOOOOONLIIIIIIIIIIIIEST NUMBER THAT YOU'LL EVER DOOOOOOOOO 🎶
100% chance he wrote this tweet while blasting the fuck out of One Is The Loneliest Number
November 20, 2024 at 2:05 PM
100% chance he wrote this tweet while blasting the fuck out of One Is The Loneliest Number
"You say you're afraid of flying, correct?"
"Yes."
"AND YET YOU FLEW HERE, RIGHT?!"
"Yes"
"Yes."
"AND YET YOU FLEW HERE, RIGHT?!"
"Yes"
November 20, 2024 at 2:19 PM
"You say you're afraid of flying, correct?"
"Yes."
"AND YET YOU FLEW HERE, RIGHT?!"
"Yes"
"Yes."
"AND YET YOU FLEW HERE, RIGHT?!"
"Yes"
Both parents are trash but the daughter is by far the worst. She should absolutely feel guilty as fuck and blame herself. This family...man
November 20, 2024 at 2:46 PM
Both parents are trash but the daughter is by far the worst. She should absolutely feel guilty as fuck and blame herself. This family...man
I GUESS STATEMENTS TO THE PRESS CAN BE USED AS EVIDENCE IN CRIMINAL CASES? WHO KNEW?!
November 20, 2024 at 2:46 PM
I GUESS STATEMENTS TO THE PRESS CAN BE USED AS EVIDENCE IN CRIMINAL CASES? WHO KNEW?!
When your coworkers are trash and you finally get tired of pretending like you’re not doing all the work
November 20, 2024 at 3:11 PM
When your coworkers are trash and you finally get tired of pretending like you’re not doing all the work
Bob's Burgers looking at working class white people like
November 20, 2024 at 3:11 PM
Bob's Burgers looking at working class white people like
*in a Lyft Pool*
Driver: “Somebody smells like weed.”
Driver: “Somebody smells like weed.”
November 20, 2024 at 3:34 PM
*in a Lyft Pool*
Driver: “Somebody smells like weed.”
Driver: “Somebody smells like weed.”
Me before Infinity War vs. Me after Infinity War
November 20, 2024 at 3:34 PM
Me before Infinity War vs. Me after Infinity War
When your coworkers fuck up, but you're the one that gets stuck working the shift cleaning up their bullshit
November 20, 2024 at 3:44 PM
When your coworkers fuck up, but you're the one that gets stuck working the shift cleaning up their bullshit
“ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE IS DEAD!”
November 20, 2024 at 3:44 PM
“ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE IS DEAD!”
Humbled to be a part of the inaugural NYC Youth Creativity Summit. Got a chance to talk to some youths about how I use comedy to channel my creative impulses and what the craft represents to me.
Today, I hope that I reeeeeaaaaaaached these kids. #creativitysummit
Today, I hope that I reeeeeaaaaaaached these kids. #creativitysummit
November 20, 2024 at 4:03 PM
Humbled to be a part of the inaugural NYC Youth Creativity Summit. Got a chance to talk to some youths about how I use comedy to channel my creative impulses and what the craft represents to me.
Today, I hope that I reeeeeaaaaaaached these kids. #creativitysummit
Today, I hope that I reeeeeaaaaaaached these kids. #creativitysummit
I mean...come on now...
November 20, 2024 at 4:14 PM
I mean...come on now...
Not feeling this reboot of Tales From The Crypt.
November 20, 2024 at 4:03 PM
Not feeling this reboot of Tales From The Crypt.
Me, watching Sam Nunberg’s disbelief that he might actually go to jail:
November 20, 2024 at 4:26 PM
Me, watching Sam Nunberg’s disbelief that he might actually go to jail: