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tearese.bsky.social
therese
@tearese.bsky.social
16 followers 10 following 47 posts
musings and ramblings
digital archive of a stranger
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tearese.bsky.social
a shitty poem i wrote after i went into a trader joes for the first time since moving out of my college apartment that was on top of one
January 27, 2025 at 9:26 AM
tearese.bsky.social
(late) happy new year !!!

i made a private instagram last year as a life docu n it is one of the best things ever !!!

last year i truly felt the happiest in my life n its all thanks to memories w friends which i look back on immortalized into 10 little slides each hehe

here's to more this year !
January 3, 2025 at 9:17 AM
tearese.bsky.social
made bingo cards with 2 of my friends for the year,
here's mine!!

brainstorming a reward for us when we all finish a bingo/blackout, any thoughts?
image of bingo card with 25 goals in 25 boxes including: read 12 books, design blind box toys, diamond in VALORANT, host a fiber arts 101 workshop, get drivers license, level up rollerskating skills to 4, make art for game, trip with friends :), complete a machine-sewing project, sashiko repair at least one item, 500k mastery points on Lux, go on 12 dates, host a 20+ person dinner party, make 12 reels for pearlspun, make earrings, twitch affiliate, hand make 6 gifts, spin yarn, project management certificate, 100-day streak on Lingvano, try to get diagnosed (again), 8 minute mile, learn 5 new recipes, table at a market, and self-draft a pattern
January 1, 2025 at 11:36 PM
tearese.bsky.social
hateeeee drawing people so baddddddddddd

anyways wip for a surprise gift to add to christmas card for a friend
December 9, 2024 at 8:36 AM
tearese.bsky.social
day late but happy 3 year anniversary to my baby, my brainchild, my pride & joy

bear's bobaria
zenuriken.itch.io/bears-bobaria
December 7, 2024 at 9:29 PM
tearese.bsky.social
missing my friends a lot lately so i made them a google form to fill out so i can know whats going on in their lives
we hardly catch up nowadays bc of busy schedules and different cities

my heart is so full
ive been smiling ear to ear reading their responses
i can hear their voices in their writing
December 5, 2024 at 6:54 AM
tearese.bsky.social
my experience working on the game

2 days after our first team meeting for the game jam, my dad was diagnosed with cancer...

tldr: life happened (pls get/tell your older family memebers to get colonoscopies on time), but we lock in and pull thru for the love of the game
note screenshot that reads: 2 days after our first team meeting for the game jam, my dad was diagnosed with cancer suffice to say, it was a struggle getting a foothold to work on the game being the only sibling living at home with my parents (my post-grad unemployment era), i wanted to be completely available for them during the day, taking care of them and things around the house,leaving any time for myself for when they went off to bed. my tablet was connected to my pc in my room upstairs and the complete opposite end of the house (and i prefer working completely uninterrupted), so i could really only work from what was supposed to be bedtime to morning. the first week, i could hardly bring myself to my desk to even begin my work. i was so exhausted, physically and especially mentally. there were so many times i told myself to just remove myself from the project entirely. note screenshot that reads: but ive been wanting to make a game again for so long. (the last one i made is coming up on its 3 yr release anniversary in 5 days actually.) i wanted to make something again, put something out in this world that i feel proud of. ive been having many post-grad crises surrounding my future, so having some tangible goal and end product for myself was too important to let go of. (originally) being the sole artist on the team, i sworeeee i could "just do it" as long as i could get myself to my desk instead of going straight to bed. but i was deluding myself. i couldn't do it all. our producer, vivienne (literally the best), really encouraged me to just do what i could and ask the team for help with the rest, especially with my dad's surgery date (and my complete unavailability) coming up towards the end of the jam. bless ray for being so amazing and joining the art team. the weight i've been feeling on my shoulders drastically felt lighter. note screenshot that reads: they were so quick to help and did such a great job matching my art style. i felt a lot of motivation (and a bit of shame) when they pumped out drafts and finalized art assets at a pace i just couldnt match (not that i needed to). i had some good nights, cranking out a background or a few items. but i still had mostly terrible nights, doing nothing at all. the pace i was going, i wouldnt be able to finish my already reduced workload. but then a few things happened. my dad's surgery was cancelled due to insurance issues (thankfully has been rescheduled since), i bought an ipad, my siblings came home for the holiday, and the urgency finally kicked in. the nights i would've been unavailable was suddenly freed up, with the ipad i can finally work while being near my parents whenever they needed me (altho the pencil didnt come in on time/still hasnt arrived to this day), and my siblings helped me take care of my parents and things around the house, so i had the energy to work at night. note screenshot that reads: i spent 4 nights in a row working til 5 AM, 7 AM, and an all-nighter, and worked evenings finger drawing on my ipad around my family as we watched hallmark movies and celebrated my brothers birthday. (the transition card was mostly finger drawn btw 😭 ty procreate for being such a friendly program) despite all the hiccups along the way, i say it was worth it. i feel proud of the few things i contributed and im happy to have been part of a team, especially one that is so considerate and understanding and talented. huge shoutout to all of them: viv, ray, jenny, jane, rashika, and alison. it was a nice distraction from everything going on at home. while i wont be finding a job anytime soon (waiting to see how my dad will take chemo), i'll probably open crochet & knit commissions soon to offset some expenses that have cropped up. i also hope to join more game jams (if anyone i know is interested pls lmk) and make more art in general. thanks for reading.
December 2, 2024 at 6:46 AM
tearese.bsky.social
OUR GAME IS OUT NOW!
The Many Meow-steries of Tiramisu Apartments is a team submission for github's Game Off 2024 game jam
viviennelin.itch.io/meowsteries-...
play it here! and lmk what you think 😊

i was one of 3 artists on our talented team
i did backgrounds, some items, Fern & the transition card
December 2, 2024 at 6:26 AM
tearese.bsky.social
hm very accurate
November 20, 2024 at 11:41 PM
tearese.bsky.social
some favorites from my shoot
the noise filter hates to see me coming
blue-toned photo of girl wearing a striped dress and sash that reads "it's my birthday" posing with a pointy hat blue-toned photo of girl wearing a striped dress and sash that reads "it's my birthday" posing with a rose photo of girl posing with a lighter to light a candle in her mouth blue-toned blurry photo of girl wearing a striped dress and sash that reads "it's my birthday" posing
November 15, 2024 at 7:37 AM
tearese.bsky.social
i turned 22 yesterday
i still feel 21 and 19 and 15 and 12.....

anyways here's my homemade birthday cake
pumpkin w cream cheese frosting
cake with cream cheese frosting on a plate the cake is decorated with a candle and the number 22 in edible gold glitter and frosting
November 14, 2024 at 2:27 AM
tearese.bsky.social
300 character limit sucks

anyways, first look bts of hair, makeup, lighting test of last night's self-portrait photoshoot
screenshot of text that reads "i genuinely love my friends. they are so smart and creative. i texted my friend for tips on editing some photos i just took, and he offered to do sample edits and walk thru his process. like i could have just googled how to use lightroom, but the personalized experience is just priceless. i was able to ask specific questions for the direction i want to go and get answers in depth and in real time. skill share is so important to community creating and sharing space with each other, feeling needed and appreciated for your skill, knowledge share and curiosity. to be open and be able to reciprocate energy. learning and growing is so much easier together i feel so so lucky" grid of four blue toned photos, 3 of which are mirror selfies of a girl, and the last photo of sequins
November 5, 2024 at 10:05 PM
tearese.bsky.social
getting ready to teach my sister how to knit a sweater :)
DROPS Melody yarn skeins in thr colorway "brick" being winded on a yarn winder
October 30, 2024 at 6:04 AM
tearese.bsky.social
was home alone a while ago so i watched i saw the tv glow

not a review, just some ramblings
letterboxd review of "I Saw the TV Glow" by purple_lilac12 rated 5 stars tears streamed down my face as the credits rolled. i felt hyperaware, the feeling of my clothes brushing against my skin, the uneven floorboards under my feet, how heavy my chest felt unsure if it had been like that the whole time. it was strange orienting myself again, like i overcorrected my glasses prescription and things felt too sharp. the wrinkles on my fingers while i brushed the hairs of my ikea shark that i could see each individual curl and strand. i felt so in my body and so grounded as if i had been just floating my entire life until this moment. this is the life i am living right now, this is my life, i recall thinking. it was as if i took an edible and i realize im in that state where i can simultaneously feel everything around me just tethered by the slightest thread, lest it breaks and i float away. i imagine floating away, hovering just a few inches above me. but i didnt give myself much time with that clarity, i let the numbness come back quick. i would often feel that something is so wrong with me, there would be a feeling so bad inside my body, sometimes in my chest, sometimes in my gut that i want to claw at, the strongest urge to cut myself open and reach inside to remove and clean my organs to relieve the bad feeling. the movie felt like that sometimes. i don't relate 1:1 about the specific experience being told, but i feel so adjacent to it in my own way. to refuse yourself and your identity, pushing it down over and over, feeling suffocated by your own self, so utterly scared to claim it while wishing someone, somewhere can save you, force you to finally be yourself, initially refusing and refusing multiple times over because you're too scared, you don't think you're ready yet, hoping for a next chance for someone to force you and that you'll be ready then, but always too scared to take the step alone yourself. you're always just there, on the precipice, on the cliff …
October 29, 2024 at 7:23 AM