TCP/IrvingPark
@tcpirvingpark.bsky.social
Hi, I'm Todd, and I want to eat that
I have somehow curated an algorithm in Instagram where I regularly see suggested posts from bands I do not know that they have kicked out a band member because of "the allegations." Sometimes the guy has a statement too, as a bonus. They never explain the situation at all. I love these mysteries.
November 26, 2025 at 3:13 PM
I have somehow curated an algorithm in Instagram where I regularly see suggested posts from bands I do not know that they have kicked out a band member because of "the allegations." Sometimes the guy has a statement too, as a bonus. They never explain the situation at all. I love these mysteries.
I want Nick Offerman to win the Emmy for delivering the line "My name's Chester Arthur, son of William Arthur, chief of the port authority of New York, and the next Vice President of...YOU COCKSUCKERS" in this show about the assassination of Garfield.
November 8, 2025 at 4:29 AM
I want Nick Offerman to win the Emmy for delivering the line "My name's Chester Arthur, son of William Arthur, chief of the port authority of New York, and the next Vice President of...YOU COCKSUCKERS" in this show about the assassination of Garfield.
It took 19 years but Harry Whittington finally got his revenge.
November 4, 2025 at 4:08 PM
It took 19 years but Harry Whittington finally got his revenge.
If elected president, my promise to the American people is that I will mandate every email platform require that distribution lists can only be BCC'd. And also, I'll abolish ICE. Maybe that first. But the BCC thing can also happen in parallel. We can do both, America.
October 24, 2025 at 1:15 PM
If elected president, my promise to the American people is that I will mandate every email platform require that distribution lists can only be BCC'd. And also, I'll abolish ICE. Maybe that first. But the BCC thing can also happen in parallel. We can do both, America.
Me trying to see which house on the block hired the pest control guy that I just saw pull up and park on the street
a black and white cartoon of a man holding a sign that says ' sickos ' .
ALT: a black and white cartoon of a man holding a sign that says ' sickos ' .
media.tenor.com
October 8, 2025 at 4:30 PM
Me trying to see which house on the block hired the pest control guy that I just saw pull up and park on the street
Cops are gonna be freaking out because they accidentally came into contact with Tylenol
September 23, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Cops are gonna be freaking out because they accidentally came into contact with Tylenol
There have to be people working for RFK Jr that make bets with each other about whether or not they can get him to say the wackiest shit during press conferences.
September 23, 2025 at 1:59 AM
There have to be people working for RFK Jr that make bets with each other about whether or not they can get him to say the wackiest shit during press conferences.
This keeps feeling more and more true every day
Any day now, I'm probably going to find out that Numero has put out a release from a late 90s/early 00s Midwestern emo band that I was in and the only recordings are from our rehearsal space and sitting on Minidisc which Numero has broken into my house and stolen out of a box in my basement.
September 9, 2025 at 3:50 PM
This keeps feeling more and more true every day
Relay your Chicago hellscape anecdote! Here's mine: this morning I got up at 5:30 and rode my bike with some other neighborhood dad friends for a couple hours, up the North Branch Trail and back. I saw a bunch of deer, it reminded me of my mom. It was great. 2nd Saturday in a row.
GO!
GO!
September 6, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Relay your Chicago hellscape anecdote! Here's mine: this morning I got up at 5:30 and rode my bike with some other neighborhood dad friends for a couple hours, up the North Branch Trail and back. I saw a bunch of deer, it reminded me of my mom. It was great. 2nd Saturday in a row.
GO!
GO!
When it comes time for my annual review at work, if my boss says I didn't meet expectations on anything I will just claim that I was actually acting as an FBI informant on someone who is also bad at that thing
September 6, 2025 at 1:01 AM
When it comes time for my annual review at work, if my boss says I didn't meet expectations on anything I will just claim that I was actually acting as an FBI informant on someone who is also bad at that thing
Breaking: Trump at Mar a Lago right now -
August 30, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Breaking: Trump at Mar a Lago right now -
Whoa, didn't see this coming
July 18, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Whoa, didn't see this coming
Be prepared for more corporate runaround due to replacing people with shitty AI. I've been fighting with AT&T Wireless for weeks to honor a promo to buy me out of device contracts w/ my old provider and eventually a support guy said that they use an AI to read the paperwork (incorrectly in my case).
June 3, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Be prepared for more corporate runaround due to replacing people with shitty AI. I've been fighting with AT&T Wireless for weeks to honor a promo to buy me out of device contracts w/ my old provider and eventually a support guy said that they use an AI to read the paperwork (incorrectly in my case).
This article really buries the lede, which is that this new Trader Joe's location would easily have the most logically laid out and spacious parking lot of any Trader Joe's in the United States of America. Unless TJs rips the lot all up and makes it into some MC Escher drawing like all the others.
A NW Side Trader Joe’s cleared a zoning hurdle, but a casino apartment plan has stalled. blockclubchi.co/3H4LZPV
May 20, 2025 at 10:35 PM
This article really buries the lede, which is that this new Trader Joe's location would easily have the most logically laid out and spacious parking lot of any Trader Joe's in the United States of America. Unless TJs rips the lot all up and makes it into some MC Escher drawing like all the others.
New Pope's Agenda:
- Ketchup on hot dogs now considered a mortal sin
- Popemobile to pass cars on the right when they stop at a stop sign on a two lane road
- Preferred Eucharist now deep dish
- Entire 1995-1996 Bulls roster now candidates for sainthood due to 72-10 miracle championship season
- Ketchup on hot dogs now considered a mortal sin
- Popemobile to pass cars on the right when they stop at a stop sign on a two lane road
- Preferred Eucharist now deep dish
- Entire 1995-1996 Bulls roster now candidates for sainthood due to 72-10 miracle championship season
May 8, 2025 at 8:04 PM
New Pope's Agenda:
- Ketchup on hot dogs now considered a mortal sin
- Popemobile to pass cars on the right when they stop at a stop sign on a two lane road
- Preferred Eucharist now deep dish
- Entire 1995-1996 Bulls roster now candidates for sainthood due to 72-10 miracle championship season
- Ketchup on hot dogs now considered a mortal sin
- Popemobile to pass cars on the right when they stop at a stop sign on a two lane road
- Preferred Eucharist now deep dish
- Entire 1995-1996 Bulls roster now candidates for sainthood due to 72-10 miracle championship season
BREAKING: Jeffrey Goldberg inadvertently in as new national security advisor
May 2, 2025 at 1:41 AM
BREAKING: Jeffrey Goldberg inadvertently in as new national security advisor
Who is next on the list for Secretary of Defense after a Fox news host? NFL announcer? Are we getting Terry Bradshaw?
April 22, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Who is next on the list for Secretary of Defense after a Fox news host? NFL announcer? Are we getting Terry Bradshaw?
This is tonight!
Saturday April 5 at Color Club in Chicago - Nonagon, Mayor For Life, and Weaklung. 7:30 start!
April 5, 2025 at 1:47 PM
This is tonight!
Fuck yeah, eat shit in hell Strom Thurmond!
First time I have been stoked about Cory Booker since probably back when I watched Street Fight.
First time I have been stoked about Cory Booker since probably back when I watched Street Fight.
April 1, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Fuck yeah, eat shit in hell Strom Thurmond!
First time I have been stoked about Cory Booker since probably back when I watched Street Fight.
First time I have been stoked about Cory Booker since probably back when I watched Street Fight.
Hey this is me! And 9 other guys!
Saturday April 5 at Color Club in Chicago - Nonagon, Mayor For Life, and Weaklung. 7:30 start!
March 24, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Hey this is me! And 9 other guys!
With the whole world turning itself inside out, I take some level of comfort in the realization that, without fail, every hotel room bathroom has the hot and cold markers flipped on the shower.
March 23, 2025 at 2:41 PM
With the whole world turning itself inside out, I take some level of comfort in the realization that, without fail, every hotel room bathroom has the hot and cold markers flipped on the shower.
Dutch Boy should make a commercial where they play "Tomorrow" by Silverchair with the lyrics changed to "You're gonna paint too Dutch Boy! Dutch Boy! Paint too tomorrow!"
March 20, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Dutch Boy should make a commercial where they play "Tomorrow" by Silverchair with the lyrics changed to "You're gonna paint too Dutch Boy! Dutch Boy! Paint too tomorrow!"
Walgreens sucks shit anyway. Not gonna shed a tear for some PE firm liquidating them for their ample real estate holdings. I miss mom and pop drug stores like the one I worked for as a teenager. Are there even any of those left?
March 7, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Walgreens sucks shit anyway. Not gonna shed a tear for some PE firm liquidating them for their ample real estate holdings. I miss mom and pop drug stores like the one I worked for as a teenager. Are there even any of those left?
I finished watching the final season of Cobra Kai and could not stop cracking up at the sheer amount of audience pandering. The sudden bad guy redemption arcs outta nowhere just crammed in before the show ended...so campy, so dumb, so good. A+ dumb TV escapism.
March 3, 2025 at 11:54 PM
I finished watching the final season of Cobra Kai and could not stop cracking up at the sheer amount of audience pandering. The sudden bad guy redemption arcs outta nowhere just crammed in before the show ended...so campy, so dumb, so good. A+ dumb TV escapism.
Who will replace DeJoy? The Unabomber?
February 19, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Who will replace DeJoy? The Unabomber?