-and i was so happy i was crying. i missed them so much. i'm glad to be back home safe and sound.

Remember, if you ever feel suicidal or are planning on hurting yourself, don't be afraid to ask for help from someone. You are not alone ❤️

-did the same morning shenanigans. i was so happy that i got to go home today. a few hours later, as i'm chatting with the other teens that were there, a nurse comes up to the door and says that my parents are here and that i'm going home. i was walked to where my parents were-

-which made me feel better. i also wasn't under a Baker Act anymore which was good. again, not much happened afterwards although i was happy i got to go home monday. I fell asleep with some minor stomach pain, but it went away. Anyways it's the next day AKA today. I woke up and-

-i went to bed. luckily i was given anxiety meds to help me sleep. next day (which was actually yesterday at the time of writing all this), same shenanigans. i talked to the doctor about me going home on that day or potentially monday and he said that i will be going home monday-

-me here in the first place and he knew about just how high my anxiety was already. and so, i told him about what happened last night, and he understood and said that he wanted me home as soon as possible. i felt better but still anxious. not much really happened afterwards and-

-finally managed to get to bed and i slept pretty well as they gave me something for the anxiety. The next day after the usual morning shenanigans, i got to talk to the doctor about what happened. I talked to the doctor the day prior about what lead up to the ideations that got-

-1 but 2 panic attacks and for a brief moment i had another round of (luckily less severe) suicidal ideations. i had to call my mom and she understood but i needed to stay there for a couple more days. i really felt like i couldn't handle that but i wanted to try. afterwards, i-

-point and i didn't really know what to do. they had a decent variety of food but i couldn't eat much of it due to my food aversion and autism. later as we're going to bed, my anxiety suddenly spikes. i can't sleep, i can't think, my hands are shaking, the whole thing. I had not-

-have to stay there for. because i was in an unfamiliar environment, my anxiety spiked. they only gave me melatonin on the first night so i could barely sleep. next morning, i woke up and did some things that i was told i needed to do. my anxiety was still pretty high at this-

-into a voluntary admission while i was there. so, i got there, and got into a room with another one of the teens that were there. the bed was like a brick and i heard that the showers gave people bruises because of the water pressure. also, i didn't know how long i was gonna-

-was put into a room almost immediately, after some tests and some conversations, they said that i need to be admitted. i was devastated that i would be away from my family but i was told that it was gonna be ok. They put me under a Baker Act but said that they would turn it-

-The next morning, my mom woke me up. I told her that something happened last night. she asked about what happened and i told her everything. she started crying and i felt so bad. she then asked me if i would like to get examined and i said yes. so, we went to the hospital and i-

-that Chelsea wasn't comfortable with the wellness check. i said "that's all you had to say. i'll cancel it now" and i called the PD back and cancelled the wellness check. both Chelsea and Marcy understood that i was trying to help and we're still friends. then i went to sleep.-

-much better afterwards but i was still uncertain. i told Chelsea that i would do the wellness check. she understood but said no. i kept pushing and pushing until i called Chelsea's local PD. as i was on the phone, my friend Marcy
dmed me and said that this wasn't helping and-

-called 988 again and told them i was planning on killing myself. they wanted to send the police over but i said no. after some talking, they said that if i'm that worried about Chelsea, i need to get a wellness check on her. i hesitated but i soon said that i'll do that. i felt-

-since all those emotions were making me hungry. as i was grabbing my food, i looked at the knife set in the kitchen for a little while and pondered. I actually genuinely imagined taking one of those knives and stabbing myself in the heart... soon, i snapped out of it and-

-i called 988 (aka the Suicide and Crisis Hotline) and told them everything. They understood and said i was already doing enough to help. i felt a little better but i still was having a ton of anxiety and guilt. After i got off the phone, i went to go get something to eat-