Tastysoup
@tastysoup.bsky.social
A behavioral ornithologist working on my doctoral thesis which, through an emersive study of lifestyle, and personal habits, seeks to determine if it is instinct, environmental stimuli, or another factor that compels the chicken to cross the road.
You know what would be sad would be if Lincoln had bought season tickets.
May 21, 2024 at 3:02 AM
You know what would be sad would be if Lincoln had bought season tickets.
What happens if an astronomer says "betelgeuse" three times? Are ghosts phonetic?
April 21, 2024 at 4:29 AM
What happens if an astronomer says "betelgeuse" three times? Are ghosts phonetic?
I was going to watch #civilwar but I think I might have already seen it... in the visions manifested from the crippling anxieties that I try to escape by watching movies.
April 21, 2024 at 4:27 AM
I was going to watch #civilwar but I think I might have already seen it... in the visions manifested from the crippling anxieties that I try to escape by watching movies.
If God gave me lemons, why would I make lemonade out of them? I can make lemonade out of any old lemons. If you've got God lemons, sell that shit on eBay!
March 24, 2024 at 4:07 AM
If God gave me lemons, why would I make lemonade out of them? I can make lemonade out of any old lemons. If you've got God lemons, sell that shit on eBay!
I thought I was getting really good at meditation because I could sit for hours, staring at nothing with my mind completely blank. But it turned out I was just really depressed.
February 22, 2024 at 7:37 PM
I thought I was getting really good at meditation because I could sit for hours, staring at nothing with my mind completely blank. But it turned out I was just really depressed.
If you try hard enough, everything is scratch-and-sniff.
January 21, 2024 at 12:40 AM
If you try hard enough, everything is scratch-and-sniff.
Is innuendo an onomatopoeia?
January 13, 2024 at 8:02 PM
Is innuendo an onomatopoeia?
I heard Matthew McConaughey went to the doctor because his hand hurt.
Turns out he has arthritaritaritis.
Turns out he has arthritaritaritis.
December 27, 2023 at 5:44 PM
I heard Matthew McConaughey went to the doctor because his hand hurt.
Turns out he has arthritaritaritis.
Turns out he has arthritaritaritis.
Just saw the rare, director's cut of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Everything was the same up until Cindy Lou Who walked in on the Grinch stealing the presents. Then shit got real Funny Games.🥺
December 8, 2023 at 4:07 AM
Just saw the rare, director's cut of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Everything was the same up until Cindy Lou Who walked in on the Grinch stealing the presents. Then shit got real Funny Games.🥺
Somebody said to me, "Meat is murder!"
So I said, "But then why doesn't it give me an erection?"
So I said, "But then why doesn't it give me an erection?"
November 1, 2023 at 5:39 AM
Somebody said to me, "Meat is murder!"
So I said, "But then why doesn't it give me an erection?"
So I said, "But then why doesn't it give me an erection?"
You just have to get them hot enough to ignite.
October 5, 2023 at 12:33 AM
You just have to get them hot enough to ignite.
As a kind of antisocial person, I don't really understand either side of the abortion debate. Everyone is either pro-choice, or pro-life, like there's no third option.
September 28, 2023 at 6:08 PM
As a kind of antisocial person, I don't really understand either side of the abortion debate. Everyone is either pro-choice, or pro-life, like there's no third option.
They say that whenever God closes a door, he opens a window.
What kind of OCD shit is that?
What kind of OCD shit is that?
September 24, 2023 at 3:20 AM
They say that whenever God closes a door, he opens a window.
What kind of OCD shit is that?
What kind of OCD shit is that?
In a perfect world, clicking on this article would immediately connect you with a clinical depression hotline.
September 21, 2023 at 6:23 PM
In a perfect world, clicking on this article would immediately connect you with a clinical depression hotline.
Bob Barker was a big proponent of having pets spayed and neutered, so I bet his cause would have been abortion rights if his name had been Bob Brat.
September 21, 2023 at 2:12 AM
Bob Barker was a big proponent of having pets spayed and neutered, so I bet his cause would have been abortion rights if his name had been Bob Brat.
Every time I see the new Kia emblem I think, "When did Nine Inch Nails come out with a car?"
September 17, 2023 at 12:23 AM
Every time I see the new Kia emblem I think, "When did Nine Inch Nails come out with a car?"
My dog died.
Don't worry, I don't mean a real dog. He was just my really good friend.
Don't worry, I don't mean a real dog. He was just my really good friend.
September 13, 2023 at 7:45 PM
My dog died.
Don't worry, I don't mean a real dog. He was just my really good friend.
Don't worry, I don't mean a real dog. He was just my really good friend.
I just watched this really bizarre movie where Freaky Friday, and Taco Tuesday switched weeks at their leap year, and had to miss prom. And the weirdest part was that it was playing in a bowl of clam chowder.
So, yeah, I think these allergy pills have side effects.
So, yeah, I think these allergy pills have side effects.
September 8, 2023 at 5:44 AM
I just watched this really bizarre movie where Freaky Friday, and Taco Tuesday switched weeks at their leap year, and had to miss prom. And the weirdest part was that it was playing in a bowl of clam chowder.
So, yeah, I think these allergy pills have side effects.
So, yeah, I think these allergy pills have side effects.
As a straight, white, male living in the upper-middle class, I really feel that I am a lot like Rosa Parks.
And by that, I mean that I look really good in a pillbox hat.
And by that, I mean that I look really good in a pillbox hat.
September 6, 2023 at 4:39 PM
As a straight, white, male living in the upper-middle class, I really feel that I am a lot like Rosa Parks.
And by that, I mean that I look really good in a pillbox hat.
And by that, I mean that I look really good in a pillbox hat.
I wonder if Paul McCartney, and REO Speedwagon ever got in a fight about the acceptable number of lonely nights.
August 29, 2023 at 8:31 PM
I wonder if Paul McCartney, and REO Speedwagon ever got in a fight about the acceptable number of lonely nights.
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake
It's kind of a dick move on the Lord's part
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake
It's kind of a dick move on the Lord's part
August 14, 2023 at 11:11 PM
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake
It's kind of a dick move on the Lord's part
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake
It's kind of a dick move on the Lord's part
It's ironic that it would be inappropriate and offensive to tap dance in most situations where Taps would be playing.
August 14, 2023 at 2:26 AM
It's ironic that it would be inappropriate and offensive to tap dance in most situations where Taps would be playing.
There is a fine line between genius, and insanity. For instance, when Harold Frankner said, "I've finally discovered a way to freeze waffles for reheating in a toaster" people thought he was crazy.
And he was. It was 2016, and he said it while running, naked, through an Arby's.
And he was. It was 2016, and he said it while running, naked, through an Arby's.
August 11, 2023 at 6:27 PM
There is a fine line between genius, and insanity. For instance, when Harold Frankner said, "I've finally discovered a way to freeze waffles for reheating in a toaster" people thought he was crazy.
And he was. It was 2016, and he said it while running, naked, through an Arby's.
And he was. It was 2016, and he said it while running, naked, through an Arby's.