Currently playing a minotaur way of the astral self monk who works at HR in Acquistions Inc. He ran away from his monastery because his crush, a halfling, responded to a risky note he had written and my monk couldn't handle the pressure of reading it.

This isn't to say I look at the rest of my life as a mostly male- presenting NB with regret or dread. It will be what it is.

I just don't think I'll ever feel like I belong to a community, the world, or to my own body.

I already feel disliked and repulsive and unwanted enough. I don't believe trans women to be any of those things nor worthy of the derision, vitriol, hatred, and bloodlust directed towards them.

But I know if I transitioned I would just be more of a lolcow than I current am and I couldn't handle it

I see and follow a lot of trans women and on some level I connect to them. I see what my life might have been.

I know it's not really too late, but it kind of is. Not only politically of course but also...my shoulders are big. My face isn't aesthetically pleasing for man or woman.