That everyone’s patience will run out. Im sitting here with my cats just hoping dude. I just want things to get better

I wanna spoil my partner, I wanna pay back my friends, I wanna go the gym, I wanna not be in a constant state of anxiety, I wanna enjoy being in my band, I wanna enjoy video games
I just need this goddamn job pls dude. I can’t sleep at night cause I’m so anxious that tomorrow will be the day

Organize some kind of mutual aid benefit/show/event
Shoot more music videos
Make a voice over reel
Cook more and outside my comfort zone
Go on vacation
Be better at expressing myself
Go back to therapy
Re-learn guitar

The inextricable amount of failure I’ve experienced lately makes self improvement feel sysphisian. Really understanding what Airplanes by B.o.b FT Hayley Williams is about now