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synthburger.bsky.social
SynthBurger
@synthburger.bsky.social
26 followers 4 following 21 posts
Stacked. Sauced. Reviled by the FDA. We make "Burgers".
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synthburger.bsky.social
Introducing the DCR-880X // DREADCORE MODULE
We stacked it. You asked us not to. We did it anyway.

🍔 3x Protein Discs
🫓 Creamcore Layer
🥔 Tater Sealant
🫐 Cafe-Berry Haze Drizzle
🧂 Salted Bun Rim (Top + Bottom, FDA-unconsulted)

"Too Much. Way Too Much."
Now available everywhere.

#burger
A promotional poster for SynthBurger’s latest limited-run menu item: the DCR-880X // DREADCORE MODULE, casually known as The Floorload Feast. The towering sandwich sits on a brown cafeteria tray in a brightly lit fast food restaurant interior. The burger includes three thick beef composite patties stacked with orange synthetic cheese, an off-white gelatinous "creamcore" layer between the bottom patties, and a layer of deep-fried tater units beneath the top bun. The entire stack is drenched in a dark red, glossy Cafe-Berry Haze sauce — a hybrid coffee-raspberry syrup — which drips down all sides onto the tray paper. The top and bottom buns are visibly rimmed with coarse salt, styled like a cocktail glass. On the side are yellow crinkle fries and a SynthBurger Thermo Brew Float — a dark drink topped with a whipped cream dollop. Text above the burger reads: "TOO MUCH. WAY TOO MUCH." Followed underneath by: "DCR-880X // DREADCORE MODULE" At the bottom of the image is the SynthBurger logo — "Synth" in mustard yellow, "Burger" in dark orange — followed by the slogan: "Legally Defined As Food" with a subnote: "Available for a (hopefully brief) window of time."
July 7, 2025 at 4:05 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
MODULE: MEALCORE-COMPACT // MST-1KX
AKA “The Block.”

Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. 3 flavors in 1!

*A-85 Breakfast Layer: Tones of Egg and Nutritional Yeast

*G-60 Lunch Layer: Notes of Savory Corn

*L-71 Dinner Layer: Beef Adjacent with Salt

Pairs with a scoop of C-78 CURD MASS!

SynthBurger
A cafeteria-style advertisement showing a rigid food cube called “The Block” resting on a beige-brown plastic tray. The cube has three distinct layers: an orange top (morning sealant slab), a yellow middle (grain or starch layer), and a brown base (dense protein ration). Each layer is tightly compressed and visibly artificial in texture. Next to the block is a mustard-colored container holding a mound of whipped pink curd. The poster includes clinical labeling of each layer, detailed intake instructions, and a large warning not to microwave the cube. SynthBurger’s retro orange-and-mustard logo appears in the corner, with the tagline “Legally Defined As Food.” The entire composition is styled like a 1980s government foodservice training chart — sterile, bureaucratic, and unsettlingly confident.
June 26, 2025 at 4:27 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
No sauce. No structural give.
Just bacon.

The Crunch Slab (TFX-480) is now available — but only at certified terminals within 5 miles of a licensed trauma center.

Serving tray is non-optional. Do not attempt to eat off the floor.

SynthBurger. Legally Defined As Food.

#bacon #burger
A cafeteria-style vertical poster showing a dense square block of layered bacon strips stacked on a waffle-textured fry base. It sits on a brown plastic tray lined with grease-spotted paper. The bold text above reads “NO MERCY. JUST BACON.” followed by the name “TFX-480 // FRAG STRIP ARRAY.” The overall design uses harsh orange and yellow tones with bureaucratic typography and includes the SynthBurger logo at the bottom.
June 11, 2025 at 9:48 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
You asked for less chew time. We answered. No take backs.

The CMDX-9100R is tray-deployed.
2x beef tallow-infused gelatin slabs.
2x v7 melt adhesives.
2x breadform squares.

It's not about taste. It's about efficiency.

SynthBurger.
Legally Defined As Food.

#burger #pattymelt
A vintage-style fast food advertisement features a dense, unappetizing sandwich called the CMDX-9100R Collapse Module, casually nicknamed "The Payload Melt." The sandwich sits on an orange plastic tray and consists of two translucent, gelatinous meat slabs between square, toasted bread, with viscous yellow cheese melting down the sides. Beside it is a white paper cup with retro orange and red stripes and a stylized burger icon, filled with a foamy drink. Behind the food is a blurred fast-food counter with indistinct menu boards. The image is overlaid with large brown text reading: “BUILT TO COLLAPSE. ENGINEERED TO END BREAKS.” At the bottom, the SynthBurger logo appears with the caption “legally defined as food.” and a fine print disclaimer: “Consume at your own risk | Franchise Wars Compliant.” The entire image is colored and textured like a scanned 1980s cafeteria poster.
June 10, 2025 at 6:45 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
YLD-6R // THE WORKYARD
Four patties. Eight strips. All regret.

Served on a heat-grade starch trencher, it's the open faced sandwich of your nightmares.

Not recommended for children or the elderly, the Workyard comes with a waiver (signature required).

SynthBurger
Legally Defined As Food

#burger
A vertically stacked institutional cheeseburger sits on a brown plastic cafeteria tray, photographed in harsh fluorescent light. The burger consists of four thick, rectangular beef patties, each separated by melted processed cheese, topped with eight slices of crisscrossed bacon. A soft, squared bottom bun supports the entire stack. In the background is an off-white cafeteria wall with a blurred "CLEANING ZONE 3" sign and the indistinct figure of a seated employee in uniform. Over the image, bold red text reads: “STACKED LIKE REBAR. FRIED LIKE VENGEANCE.” Below, smaller text identifies the product as "YLD-6R / THE WORKYARD" and includes a tagline that says: “Griddle-welded intake unit. Structural mass loading by design. Get revenge on mortality. Quadruple your future regret.” The SynthBurger™ logo appears at the bottom in dark yellow and orange, followed by the phrase “Legally Defined As Food.”
May 28, 2025 at 5:06 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
TDM-77X has cleared segment intake trials.
“The Pizza Flight” now available in all regions.

Three discs. No shared architecture.

🐄BEEF (Node-Cut)
🦀CRAB (Orb-Form)
🐐GOAT (Paste-Layer)

Available reheated or headlamp maintained, your preference!

SynthBurger — Legally Defined As Food.

#pizza
May 27, 2025 at 4:31 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
STABILIZED. STACKED. SEEPING.
The CLAMPSTACK has been cleared for full-region deployment!!!
CLM-742 // PRESSURE LOAF SYSTEM
☑️ Morale-rated
☑️ Intake-approved
☑️ Gel-fragment fused

4200+ kcal in under 90 seconds of chew time.*
(*If you try.) No refunds.

SynthBurger. Legally Defined As Food.
A vertical poster-style ad features a heavily engineered synthetic sandwich called the CLAMPSTACK, promoted by SynthBurger. It sits on a molded yellow cafeteria tray under harsh fluorescent lighting. The sandwich is made with a very thick, rectangular meatloaf patty embedded with bright red, green, and yellow gelatinous chunks that are leaking sticky fluid down the sides. Cheese is melting out of the bottom and dripping onto the tray. Crispy bacon strips with a visible grease sheen are layered on top, beneath a browned cafeteria-style bun. Next to the sandwich are a dark brown gel-filled tube labeled “CAF SYRUP GEL UNIT” and a sterile foil packet labeled “FLAVOR STRIP.” In the background, a blurred SynthBurger restaurant interior features glowing menu boards and institutional decor. The text above the image reads “STABILIZED. STACKED. SEEPING.” and below the sandwich, bold red text says “ALL MEALS. ONE STACK.” Component ingredients are listed to the side, including a pressure-fused loaf, dual cheese film, bacon strips, grit-rolls, and colorful gel fragments. The tagline at the bottom reads: “Now deploying in all regions. SynthBurger.”
May 23, 2025 at 1:30 AM
synthburger.bsky.social
FILL YOUR CRATER.
We made something just for the vegans. Eat it.

SAL-COMP: S-44-V // RANCH CORE BOWL is now available nationwide.

It has things that will remind you of ranch, lettuce, and vegetables. 100% animal free.

SynthBurger. Legally Defined As Food.

#vegan #salad
A brown cafeteria tray holds a yellow plastic bowl filled with shredded lettuce, forming a deep central depression filled to the brim with glossy white ranch dressing. Around the rim, scattered vegetable fragments—purple cubes, orange discs, yellow shreds—and browned croutons are arranged in a ring. Overflow ranch has spilled onto the tray liner beneath, and a plastic orange spork rests beside a folded napkin and a paper order ticket.
May 20, 2025 at 9:46 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
FOUR UNITS. ONE TRAY.
The FAMILY DEPLOYMENT RATION is now available.
2x [ALPHA:3500-MOD // REV.7-E] NOD STUFFED STACK UNITS
2x [MODULE: NUGNOD-6CT] NOD PACKS

[C-73] MOD GRAVY-DIP
[V-10] PICKLE WEDGE
[D-09] SOUR CREAM SCOOP

No substitutions. No breaks. SYNTHBURGER // LEGALLY DEFINED AS FOOD
#burger
A cafeteria tray sits on a beige table, holding two oversized cheeseburgers, two overfilled containers of chicken nuggets, a central well of thick brown gravy, and a scoop of sour cream. One nugget is stuck to the side of a burger, and a single pickle wedge floats disturbingly in the gravy. The photo is styled like a 1980s corporate poster, using harsh fluorescent lighting and a washed-out mustard color palette.
May 19, 2025 at 9:02 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
FRIDAY COMPLIANT MODULE DEPLOYED

FMP-9187-G2 // MARITIME GEL MODULE // REVISION DELTA
The Brine Dome: Starch-Bedded

Cold-sealed. Salt-forward. No refunds.

It's "Fish" for when you can't eat "Meat".

SynthBurger
Legally Defined as Food™
A cafeteria-style advertisement shows a greenish gelatin slab containing a white fish rectangle, a slice of toast, and a bottom layer of yellow potato cubes. Bold text reads, “You asked for fish. You didn’t ask right.” The bottom includes a SynthBurger logo and a labeled ingredients box in orange and black.
May 16, 2025 at 9:23 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
UNSEALED. STACKED. VERIFIED FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION.

Behold, our signature burger. The ALPHA:3500-MOD
Double protein. Melt Variant 5. Emulsified sauce disc. Dill-based texture disruptor.

Add a Cold Unit with Signature Syrup Blend for only $1.49

DON’T EAT SMART. EAT DENSE.
#burger
An exploded-view burger floats in midair above an orange cafeteria tray, revealing stacked layers: sesame bun, two beef patties, a cheese slice, a beige emulsified sauce disc, and pickle slices on a bottom bun. Beside it sits a white paper cup with orange and yellow stripes and a plastic lid and straw, lightly coated in condensation. The background is a faded, institutional beige wall and countertop, evoking 1980s fast food photography.
May 16, 2025 at 5:19 AM
synthburger.bsky.social
NOW DEPLOYED: MODULE:NUGNOD-6CT
Six textured protein nods. One sauce packet. Zero hesitation.
Starch-bonded, morale-ready, and cafeteria-certified for mid-zone fulfillment.
They’re not nuggets. They’re nods.

SynthBurger. Legally Defined As Food.

#restaraunt #food
A cafeteria tray with an open beige Styrofoam container holds six golden-brown, irregular protein bites labeled as "nods." Beside them is a translucent sauce packet filled with an unnatural green-yellow gel. The poster features bold 1980s-style text and branding from SynthBurger, a fictional retro-futurist fast food company.
May 14, 2025 at 7:35 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
NEW DEPLOYMENT: SST-FRY-STACK: M.C.B.
Now in select locations.

M.C.B. = Multi-Calorie Block. Engineered for rapid calorie intake to get you back to work fast.

2 Patties. 16 Bacon Strips . 2 French Fry lattice housings. 2 Slices "Cheese". No veg.

SynthBurger. Legally Defined As Food.
#burger
A vintage-style advertisement shows a cafeteria tray holding the SST-FRY-STACK: M.C.B. — a dense sandwich made of two beef patties, melted cheese, and layers of bacon between two waffle fries. A disposable drink cup with orange stripes sits beside it, all photographed in harsh institutional lighting. The image is tinted like a worn 1980s training manual, with yellow SynthBurger branding and the slogan “Limited Availability. Permanent Damage.”
May 13, 2025 at 8:34 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
NO MEAT. NO CHOICE.
The V-GRID STACK: S-320/LOAF arrives with six hours of calories for labor continuity. Triple-decker lentil mass. Pre-melted. Capsule-sealed. Now available in all regions.

SynthBurger. Legally Defined As Food.

#burger #restaraunt
A cafeteria tray holds a large vegetarian sandwich with three lentil patties and melted cheese in a foam clamshell. Beside it are a soda, two sealed condiment cups, and a paper dish of pickles, with bold black text reading “IT’S NOT MEAT. IT’S REGULATION COMPLIANT MASS.”
May 12, 2025 at 9:18 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
HER BREAKFAST IS OUR COMMAND.
Show your Mother you care, with a Brunch like no other.
The MOTHERBOARD UNIT deploys this week only. Triple-cheese. Blackberry sauce. Greased for max caloric assurance.

🟫 No Time — No Problem
🟧 Overstacked. Oversalted. Overruled.
🟨 LEGALLY DEFINED AS FOOD.

#brunch
A cafeteria tray holds a towering croissant sandwich oozing melted cheese and blackberry jam beside a black coffee and a branded SynthBurger napkin. Bold 1980s-style text declares "HER BREAKFAST IS OUR COMMAND" above the meal, with corporate slogans and color bars anchoring the bottom.
May 11, 2025 at 9:57 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
MEAT. MASH. CAFFEINE. CONTAINED.
Introducing the Hot Chunk Cup Module — a sealed meal replacement engineered for high-output appetites. Four proteins. One tray. Zero downtime.

🟥 BEEF
🟧 CRAB
🟦 GOAT

SynthBurger — Cutting Edge Solutions. Legally Defined as Food.

#food #chunk #meat
A suited employee with a visible ID badge holds a beige cafeteria tray containing three steaming clear cups labeled BEEF, CRAB, and GOAT. Each cup is filled with visible layers of brown gravy, mashed starch, and dense meat substrate, presented beneath bold institutional ad copy reading “MEAT. MASH. CAFFEINE. CONTAINED.”
May 10, 2025 at 11:02 PM
synthburger.bsky.social
They told us the All Day Breakfast was impossible.
So we put it in a box — 3500 calories of meat, egg, poutine, and purpose.
Coffee-infused. Gravy-locked. Sour cream on top.

Now available at participating SynthBurger installations.
(Franchise War veterans eat free.)

#AllDayBreakfast #Breakfast
A brown tray displays a plastic-lidded breakfast meal labeled “THE ALL DAY BREAKFAST,” featuring a stacked sandwich with egg and tomato, golden fries, and a creamy cold brew drink. The layout resembles a training guide, complete with corporate branding and step-by-step instructions.
May 10, 2025 at 7:35 PM