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swizzard.pizza
For Whom The Egg Nogs
@swizzard.pizza
7K followers 1.2K following 13K posts
married cishet white guy but worse somehow

let's go mets, baby, love da mets

https://swizzard.pizza
https://github.com/swizzard
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swizzard.pizza
sorry but
preview image for the link that reads HOUSE COMMITTEE ON THE JUDICIARY Democrats | Ranking Member Jamie Raskin fake neon genesis evangelion title card that reads HOUSE COMMITTEE ON THE JUDICIARY DEMOCRATS I RANKING MEMBER JAMIE RASKIN
November 18, 2025 at 12:03 AM
swizzard.pizza
can someone please let me play a character named dixon ticonderoga in a ttrpg
a yellow #2 pencil branded Dixon Ticonderoga
November 17, 2025 at 5:56 PM
swizzard.pizza
this has been in my head since i saw the movie like a month ago
the guy from 30 rock who says "that's not that much cheese" saying "that's not that much battles"
November 15, 2025 at 9:13 PM
swizzard.pizza
very much not the point but shout-outs to this carousel
a low-res photo of explosive prosecco on the left-side of a white rectangle. on the right side is an arrow pointing right the same white rectangle after clicking the right arrow. the same image of the exploding prosecco bottle has moved to the right side of the rectangle, replaced by a leftward-pointing arrow and mostly blank space. neither arrow works at this point, btw.
November 15, 2025 at 9:06 PM
swizzard.pizza
the chatgpt of dead relatives thing is just ripping off leopold bloom
Besides how could you remember everybody? Eyes, walk, voice. Well, the voice, yes: gramophone. Have a gramophone in every grave or keep it in the house. After dinner on a Sun-day. Put on poor old greatgrandfather Kraahraark! Hellohello-hello amawfullyglad kraark awfullygladaseeragain hellohello amarawf kopthsth. Remind you of the voice like the photograph reminds you of the face. Otherwise you couldn't remember the face after fifteen years, say. For instance who? For instance some fellow that died when I was in Wisdom Hely's. - Ulysses, p. 114
November 15, 2025 at 8:04 PM
swizzard.pizza
a screencap from mst3k where tom servo is asking "can't we just get beyond a boundary?"
November 13, 2025 at 1:36 PM
swizzard.pizza
GET ME PICTURES OF THE ALOOF WIFE!!
jk simmons as j jonah jameson yelling in some friggin spider-man movie
November 9, 2025 at 7:41 PM
swizzard.pizza
"i'm coming up only to show you down for" (from "The Funeral" by Band of Horses)
November 9, 2025 at 6:06 PM
swizzard.pizza
that i nearly remade this very meme i had completely forgotten that i made 49 weeks ago surely suggests no worrying trends for either the climate or my long-term memory
the "let's get you to bed, grandma" meme but the old woman is saying "thanksgiving is in winter"
November 9, 2025 at 3:03 PM
swizzard.pizza
wu-tang for the children
November 8, 2025 at 6:29 PM
swizzard.pizza
if you had a friend who loudly and aggressively insisted that objectively mediocre shit is what they truly want and deserve you would be concerned
unemployed ben wyatt from parks and rec, but he's asking if a depressed economy could make elon's unsettling ai woman
November 8, 2025 at 4:46 PM
swizzard.pizza
le pain quotidien has a "new tarragon-chicken salad" dale cooper wondering what year this is
November 7, 2025 at 2:39 PM
swizzard.pizza
oh, they got this all screwed up
fox news chyron with red punctuation added so it reads "Klomp! Return on Investment Is 'Healthier' Americans"
November 6, 2025 at 6:11 PM
swizzard.pizza
i think the headline is something like "In Historic Victory, Muslim Mayor Zohran Mamdani"

i'm not 💯 on how to construe the locative জয়ে and also where to restore the dropped copula (if any)
the cover of a bangla-language free newspaper i picked up in my neighborhood, with a big photo of zohran's smiling face
November 5, 2025 at 7:55 PM
swizzard.pizza
demi lovato get a job stay away from her
November 5, 2025 at 4:01 AM
swizzard.pizza
kiss my entire asshole matt
from the article in the quoted skeet: "A Mamdani victory is a serious political problem for those in the party who believe, as we do, that our primary focus must be on flipping red and purple seats blue, expanding the map for Democrats, and creating a path back to Congress and the White House," Matt Bennett, executive vice president of center-left think tank Third Way, told MSNBC. "The [Democratic Socialists of Americal platform - which Mamdani has not repudiated - hands a potent set of weapons to Republican ad makers eager to tie Mamdani-style politics to Democrats running in much tougher places than deep blue New York."
November 4, 2025 at 3:26 PM
swizzard.pizza
"new york is good and new yorkers are good" should be mayoral table stakes and yet www.indignity.net/politics-is-...
"Mamdani's campaign message has been relentlessly, programatically focused on the cost of living, but the subtext and the context have been about living, period. While national pundits and politicians have tried to use the election to argue about what kinds of symbols will attract or repel the median American voter, Mamdani has been roaming his particular city, up and down and back and forth among all the boroughs, recording scripted spots and spontaneous interactions, running a scavenger hunt and a soccer tournament, making a point of going the full length of Manhattan and around the clock. He presents the city as a fundamentally good place, a place where people want to be. He makes it sound as if people are a part of something, and as if they have the ability to make that thing better. If anyone's searching for a winning way to talk about democracy, they could try to do the same. Especially if they try to mean it."
November 4, 2025 at 11:52 AM
swizzard.pizza
It Gives You Some Ideas™️
a photo of a pipe labeled "natural gas"
November 2, 2025 at 6:57 PM
swizzard.pizza
guy on the simpsons saying "my cyclist needs wine."
October 31, 2025 at 1:23 PM
swizzard.pizza
coo coo, motherfuckers
a photograph of a vacuum-wrapped pigeon costume with the eyes and beak showing. it looks like a smushed cartoon bird face a photograph of me wearing the pigeon costume. it's a light-gray onesie pajama-type garment with darker gray 'feather' accents, fabric 'wings' between the arms and ribs, and a little hood with the eyes and beak shown in the previous photo. it's great.
October 30, 2025 at 3:35 PM
swizzard.pizza
[with increasing desperation]
"i was there" - lcd soundsystem, "losing my edge"
October 30, 2025 at 1:00 PM
swizzard.pizza
school picture day was always such a production when 404 was going through his emo phase
a black-and-white vector graphic icon of a sheet of paper with a frowning face on it. on corner of the sheet is folded over to cover one of the face's eyes
October 29, 2025 at 1:05 PM
swizzard.pizza
white pixelated text on a green background reading "are you a bad enough dolphin to kill the president?" with a pixel art vaguely military guy scowling in the corner
October 28, 2025 at 4:55 PM
swizzard.pizza
Bluff City's favorite crooner
pelvis chestnut
October 28, 2025 at 11:55 AM
swizzard.pizza
greatest kooks in the world, baby
In an interview Monday afternoon on Fox Across America with Jimmy Failla, Sliwa responded to pleas for him to drop out and endorse Cuomo by saying, "I would say 'impale me."
October 22, 2025 at 2:06 PM