Man I miss getting messy

Wish there was an easy way to find friends to bully the shit out of you, but in a normal not-weird way

Wish I could explain to my regular friends that true friendship is tying me to a chair and playing a rigged game of Double Dare where everything is a physical challenge and I lose every single one

There’s an alternate universe version of me posting awesome goop videos all the time but I think they end up unemployed and homeless

I’m always fascinated by and, to be honest genuinely jealous, of people who have jobs where they can just post whatever they want with no professional consequences