How is this place still open?

It's probably not great that my immediate response was to say "I'll show him" and start searching for real Hank Nebulas in the White Pages.

All buildings at Dartmouth should be white clapboard with green shutters. Nothing more than 3 floors high.

And it always sounds fun to cut down a tree in the Whites, but that vibe's pretty fleeting when you're lugging it through the snow back to the car.

I used to be a big advocate for real Christmas trees. Then the farm I went to for years switched to reservation-based tagging, and a few years later, they stopped selling to families and transitioned to wholesale. At this point, it's not worth the hassle of finding a new farm.