Luke: I wonder if there’s police brutality in Whoville.
Sarah: Police Who-tality
Me: That’s going on my Bluesky
Sarah: I think you mean Whosky

Luke: Why the fuck you having sex with women? The thing that men have sex with? Pretty gay.

Alex:

Alex: I’m gonna train myself so that my moan is just a death rattle. You’ll never know if I’m coming or going.

Trying to ID a friend coming downstairs by just the feet. See converse and khakis.
Me: I SENSE A LESBIAN
T: You think so?
*It was a very old white man*
T: So… still sense a lesbian?
Me: I’m never wrong.

T: *makes perfect Thwomp noise*
Me: That’s why I’m with him. Just for that. He does it in bed!
T: That’s how I finish.
Alex: I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST DOING SPEEDRUNS ALL NIGHT

Alex: Your head is tiny! What? Do you have no skull under all that hair?

Me: THE FUNDAMENTALS OF WAFFLE IRONS ARE UNCHANGEABLE

Alex: I can’t PvP with pants on!

Sagan was a prophet.