The new porter brought in a ten year old Beats Pill to listen to nothing but Immortal Technique and Everlast on and I’m about to find out how much 5W30 it takes to fit that thing in my rectum.

found an ounce of spice from 2009 in the back of my freezer so i smoked the whole fucking thing out of an apple to see if i still had it and im fully convinced i couldve saved the kmart corporation from bankruptcy

trying to take a piss under the service center desk and the smokin’ hot snap-on truck driver blew me a kiss so now my turgid hog is stuck in a gatorade bottle full of piss and it is starting to leak