나를 받아들이면 참 마음이 편한데. 그러지 못했던 시간들이 나를 더 힘들게 했던 것 같다. 나는 거짓말도 잘 하고, 방어적이고, 내 이야기를 하기를 좋아하고 남들에게 다가가고 싶어하지만, 동시에 남에게 기대고 싶어하지 않는 것 같다. 반성이 필요한 곳에는 반성이. 사람으로 받아들일 것에는 받아들임이 필요하다. 그래서 그렇게 구분할 현명함을 달라는 기도문이 있나보다

I was afraid that I was a failure, but when they told me that, I felt so thankful and encouraged. I love that friend dearly, and I don't think of them as failure, so that made me brave and open up more.

I spent many years of my 20s in my room. In those times, I felt so down and embarrassed. Recently, I met somebody who told me that they have spent some time not doing anything.

What I want to write; It's quite gloomy and blue, I do not want to burden my close friends and family with my unfiltered emotion. It's heavy, overwhelming, and also can be unpleasant. I want to protect myself, too.

I needed a place where I can write about myself freely. I don't want to write in my diary; I want to be heard, but not by a specific person. It doesn't matter if somebody actually listens(or reads), though. It's just that I want to do it like this. It feels like I can breathe. I want an safe agora.

I'll try and write in English here often. My English is rusty, and I haven't practiced it for a while; I might use some inappropriate words and write in broken grammar, but still, I want to try.

Hi