Stories for my Future Children
@storiesformyfu1.bsky.social
A collection of things I'll, eventually, tell my children.
My daughter's drawings of people can best be described as "Mr Potato Head-esque"
September 11, 2025 at 1:51 PM
My daughter's drawings of people can best be described as "Mr Potato Head-esque"
Hubby: I think maybe we could try shifting towards simpler meals.
Me: I totally agree! Lemme just make this BBQ sauce for my slow cooker ribs, then we can talk about it.
Me: I totally agree! Lemme just make this BBQ sauce for my slow cooker ribs, then we can talk about it.
September 7, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Hubby: I think maybe we could try shifting towards simpler meals.
Me: I totally agree! Lemme just make this BBQ sauce for my slow cooker ribs, then we can talk about it.
Me: I totally agree! Lemme just make this BBQ sauce for my slow cooker ribs, then we can talk about it.
After spending the day trying to encourage my 5 mo to roll from his back to his stomach for the first time since he was getting so close, he had the audacity to do it for my husband while I was in the shower...
September 4, 2025 at 6:01 PM
After spending the day trying to encourage my 5 mo to roll from his back to his stomach for the first time since he was getting so close, he had the audacity to do it for my husband while I was in the shower...
Apparently when you blend religious grandparents with agnostic parents, you get my toddler talking about "Cheesus" 😆
September 3, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Apparently when you blend religious grandparents with agnostic parents, you get my toddler talking about "Cheesus" 😆
On the one hand, it's nice to travel with in laws, visit family, do tourist-y things, etc. On the other hand, can we pretty please go home now.
September 1, 2025 at 3:19 AM
On the one hand, it's nice to travel with in laws, visit family, do tourist-y things, etc. On the other hand, can we pretty please go home now.
5 days into a family trip and my conservative, Southern Baptist BIL admitted that it's more important to have a law that bans abortion than it is to actually decrease the number of abortions... Is that actually supposed to be a pro life stance?
August 28, 2025 at 5:25 PM
5 days into a family trip and my conservative, Southern Baptist BIL admitted that it's more important to have a law that bans abortion than it is to actually decrease the number of abortions... Is that actually supposed to be a pro life stance?
Don't get me wrong, I love travelling with my in laws. But they also think that my kids will be okay with getting in and out of the car 5 times within an hour.
August 25, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Don't get me wrong, I love travelling with my in laws. But they also think that my kids will be okay with getting in and out of the car 5 times within an hour.
My favourite part about travelling to the West Coast is when the kids wake up at 5 AM 😵💫
August 24, 2025 at 2:43 PM
My favourite part about travelling to the West Coast is when the kids wake up at 5 AM 😵💫
My 4 mo has turned a corner where he's just so darn happy and smiley all day and I'm so glad this day has finally come 😍
August 21, 2025 at 6:30 PM
My 4 mo has turned a corner where he's just so darn happy and smiley all day and I'm so glad this day has finally come 😍
My baby woke up from his nap to vomit spectacularly all over the floor so that's been a fun turn of events for the day.
August 20, 2025 at 5:41 PM
My baby woke up from his nap to vomit spectacularly all over the floor so that's been a fun turn of events for the day.
Can anyone remind me why coffee and a cigarette isn't a viable breakfast option? My brain running on 5 minutes sleep doesn't remember anymore.
August 14, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Can anyone remind me why coffee and a cigarette isn't a viable breakfast option? My brain running on 5 minutes sleep doesn't remember anymore.
Of course we have to start listening Christmas music now. This guy* doesn't know ANY of the classics so we have to start practicing early 🙄
*My 4 month old
*My 4 month old
August 13, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Of course we have to start listening Christmas music now. This guy* doesn't know ANY of the classics so we have to start practicing early 🙄
*My 4 month old
*My 4 month old
4 mo wakes up from his nap screaming non stop.
Hubby, seeing me breastfeeding: is it time for him to feed?
Me: nope
H: ... Then what are you doing?
Me: seeing if the reboot button will fix it.
Hubby, seeing me breastfeeding: is it time for him to feed?
Me: nope
H: ... Then what are you doing?
Me: seeing if the reboot button will fix it.
August 11, 2025 at 7:25 PM
4 mo wakes up from his nap screaming non stop.
Hubby, seeing me breastfeeding: is it time for him to feed?
Me: nope
H: ... Then what are you doing?
Me: seeing if the reboot button will fix it.
Hubby, seeing me breastfeeding: is it time for him to feed?
Me: nope
H: ... Then what are you doing?
Me: seeing if the reboot button will fix it.
Baby was wide awake at 5:30 this morning. I asked him politely to go back to sleep and he just responded with "AGOOOOO!!" so I guess we'll be staying awake
August 8, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Baby was wide awake at 5:30 this morning. I asked him politely to go back to sleep and he just responded with "AGOOOOO!!" so I guess we'll be staying awake
I know we're not supposed to eat raw cookie dough because raw flour could give you food poisoning, etc. etc. but also, counterpoint, it's delicious
August 5, 2025 at 3:43 PM
I know we're not supposed to eat raw cookie dough because raw flour could give you food poisoning, etc. etc. but also, counterpoint, it's delicious
I kinda wanna go through my closet and purge everything but I've also spent the last year pregnant or post-partum and literally none of my usual clothes fit at the moment so my closet would be empty.
August 5, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I kinda wanna go through my closet and purge everything but I've also spent the last year pregnant or post-partum and literally none of my usual clothes fit at the moment so my closet would be empty.
If your 4 mo isn't screaming like you're actively murdering them, are you even putting them down for a nap?
July 29, 2025 at 7:07 PM
If your 4 mo isn't screaming like you're actively murdering them, are you even putting them down for a nap?
Baby is actually having a good start to the evening so naturally I'm using my time wisely and shopping for matching thanksgiving pjs for the kids.
July 28, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Baby is actually having a good start to the evening so naturally I'm using my time wisely and shopping for matching thanksgiving pjs for the kids.
We've officially got a little boy who's rolling from front to back! I was a little worried he was going to end up doing back to front first so I'm glad he snuck this in 😆
July 27, 2025 at 5:55 PM
We've officially got a little boy who's rolling from front to back! I was a little worried he was going to end up doing back to front first so I'm glad he snuck this in 😆
I swear this baby tries to do parkour every time he nurses.
July 26, 2025 at 6:06 PM
I swear this baby tries to do parkour every time he nurses.
I adore my in laws. Hubby was telling his parents last night that we had a rough week with the baby not sleeping well and the toddler being sick a few days ago. My MIL's response was to say they'll be by at 9:30 to take the kids to the park 😍
July 26, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I adore my in laws. Hubby was telling his parents last night that we had a rough week with the baby not sleeping well and the toddler being sick a few days ago. My MIL's response was to say they'll be by at 9:30 to take the kids to the park 😍
Yesterday was the first time I had to put the toddler down for a nap alone while taking care of the baby. Stars aligned; everything went super well. Today was the opposite. I swear, the stars were colluding against me.
July 24, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Yesterday was the first time I had to put the toddler down for a nap alone while taking care of the baby. Stars aligned; everything went super well. Today was the opposite. I swear, the stars were colluding against me.
Summary of my day:
Purple cakes made = 2
Children bathed = 1
Impromptu trips to the ER cause we thought my toddler put a fork in her ear = 1
Naps taken = STILL 0!!!
Purple cakes made = 2
Children bathed = 1
Impromptu trips to the ER cause we thought my toddler put a fork in her ear = 1
Naps taken = STILL 0!!!
July 14, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Summary of my day:
Purple cakes made = 2
Children bathed = 1
Impromptu trips to the ER cause we thought my toddler put a fork in her ear = 1
Naps taken = STILL 0!!!
Purple cakes made = 2
Children bathed = 1
Impromptu trips to the ER cause we thought my toddler put a fork in her ear = 1
Naps taken = STILL 0!!!
Just me praying to the baby and toddler gods that at least 50% of my household will sleep through the night tonight 🙏😴
July 13, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Just me praying to the baby and toddler gods that at least 50% of my household will sleep through the night tonight 🙏😴
3 yo, last night: mommy, your hair is beautiful! 😍
3 mo, last night: mommy, not only am I not going to let you sleep tonight, I'm going to make you feel like you've never had a full night sleep. Ever. 😵
3 mo, last night: mommy, not only am I not going to let you sleep tonight, I'm going to make you feel like you've never had a full night sleep. Ever. 😵
July 8, 2025 at 1:51 PM
3 yo, last night: mommy, your hair is beautiful! 😍
3 mo, last night: mommy, not only am I not going to let you sleep tonight, I'm going to make you feel like you've never had a full night sleep. Ever. 😵
3 mo, last night: mommy, not only am I not going to let you sleep tonight, I'm going to make you feel like you've never had a full night sleep. Ever. 😵