JUST. THE. FUCKING. WORST.

#SaturdayNight'sMainEvent

I'm stoned. I forgot the other part of this.

I am still holding out hope that The Rock shows up tomorrow. Rock tells Cena, "You sold your soul to me. You're done when I say so."

Cena becomes a hostage breaking free from The Final Boss.

It would take this story to unseen levels.

#Cena

More than anything, I am happy for Cena. It feels like he is getting to have his cake and eat it too. Something that is so damn rare in this world.

John Cena is special. There will never be another John Cena.

I'm more excited to see the non-wrestler John Cena than the wrestler John Cena.

#Cena

So my lack of emotional attachment, is due to the fact that I won't miss a Cena match too much. I'll still get his music hitting and him coming out the ring? I'll still get to hear him talk to the audience? He's going to be an ambassador of sorts because he's a genuine, good fucking dude?

#Cena

But I wasn't the biggest Punk fan, either. I found myself gravitating towards Daniel Bryan.

All this to say, John Cena is retiring from the thing that I liked the least about him. His wrestling. It isn't that he was bad or never had good matches, quite the opposite, actually.

#Cena

I am 37 years old. The first memory I have of pro wrestling is watching The Kid pin Razor Ramon. I dipped out of wrestling for most of college, 2007 - 2011. I enjoyed Cena circa WrestleMania 20, but after that, I just couldn't buy in.

Punk's Pipebomb reeled me back in.

#Cena

Ciampa loses tonight. How do you make the midcard mean something? Ciampa somehow weasels his way into a match with Cody and beats him. Now you can do the transitive property that Ilja can beat Cody. That is what closes the gap and makes the program unpredictable.

#SmackDown