How Many Stoats Is That?
@stoatamatic.bsky.social
converting measurements to stoats for March Mammal Madness! run by @deathbymustelid.bsky.social, avatar by @oddangel.bsky.social, banner by @mcmarmot.bsky.social
Stoats are more odorous than the average mammal #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
April 3, 2025 at 12:45 AM
Stoats are more odorous than the average mammal #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
That's 58.8 millistoatlengths per year! #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
April 3, 2025 at 12:40 AM
That's 58.8 millistoatlengths per year! #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
I'll continue to monitor this account sporadically, feel free to request stoatistics for any interesting or noteworthy measurements you come across on Bluesky
April 3, 2025 at 12:33 AM
I'll continue to monitor this account sporadically, feel free to request stoatistics for any interesting or noteworthy measurements you come across on Bluesky
Reposted by How Many Stoats Is That?
For realzies!! 21 seconds +/- 13 seconds!! I’ve been holding on to that reference for just the right battle. Turns out we had lots of peeing in that round 🎉#2025MMM bsky.app/profile/tcas...
Hold on, let's give ADDAX a few seconds... 21 seconds (plus or minus 13 seconds) as the LAW OF URINATION states, all mammals empty their bladders over the same amount of time!! Go on, see for yourself! #YoureWelcomeTeachers (Yang etal 2013) #2025MMM
April 1, 2025 at 1:41 AM
For realzies!! 21 seconds +/- 13 seconds!! I’ve been holding on to that reference for just the right battle. Turns out we had lots of peeing in that round 🎉#2025MMM bsky.app/profile/tcas...
what can I say, there's a reason all of my accounts focus on the slinkies and stinkies
April 1, 2025 at 1:14 AM
what can I say, there's a reason all of my accounts focus on the slinkies and stinkies
I need some way to quantify the odor of a stoat so I can measure how stinky a ginkgo is #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
April 1, 2025 at 1:07 AM
I need some way to quantify the odor of a stoat so I can measure how stinky a ginkgo is #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
Good news! Stoats also think play is a justifiable use of their energy (illustration by Consie Powell) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
April 1, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Good news! Stoats also think play is a justifiable use of their energy (illustration by Consie Powell) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
92.8 and 287 stoats, respectively #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
April 1, 2025 at 12:36 AM
92.8 and 287 stoats, respectively #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
Both combatants' canines measure 0.15 stoatlengths. Stoats' canines are around 2.5mm in diameter, but my best efforts could not find the length of the fangs #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
April 1, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Both combatants' canines measure 0.15 stoatlengths. Stoats' canines are around 2.5mm in diameter, but my best efforts could not find the length of the fangs #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
If you'd done it, I would've attempted to find the average time of stoat urination #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
April 1, 2025 at 12:05 AM
If you'd done it, I would've attempted to find the average time of stoat urination #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
(it calculated out to 114-295, if you were curious)
March 25, 2025 at 1:47 AM
(it calculated out to 114-295, if you were curious)
Still much, much larger than the average stoat, and larger than even 100 stoats! Not quite as large as 300, though #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
March 25, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Still much, much larger than the average stoat, and larger than even 100 stoats! Not quite as large as 300, though #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
Stoats can run 20 miles per hour, which is 94.7 kilostoatlengths per hour #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
March 25, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Stoats can run 20 miles per hour, which is 94.7 kilostoatlengths per hour #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
that's like eating 18.6 stoats (although those don't have any body fat, much less blubber... and of course they'd be harder to eat than a dead whale... but you get my drift) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
March 25, 2025 at 12:56 AM
that's like eating 18.6 stoats (although those don't have any body fat, much less blubber... and of course they'd be harder to eat than a dead whale... but you get my drift) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
that averages out to 11.4 stoatlengths per hour #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
March 25, 2025 at 12:54 AM
that averages out to 11.4 stoatlengths per hour #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
I think you are underestimating the length of a stoat! The best answer I could find online was 45cm, which is quite an impressive schlong, but still only comes out to 1.32 stoatlengths #StoatsAsMeasurement #MMMAfterDark
March 21, 2025 at 5:40 PM
I think you are underestimating the length of a stoat! The best answer I could find online was 45cm, which is quite an impressive schlong, but still only comes out to 1.32 stoatlengths #StoatsAsMeasurement #MMMAfterDark
The respective proportions on a stoat are probably 20, 75, and 5 (at least, when the legs are not fully extended and are counted with the main body) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
March 21, 2025 at 1:56 AM
The respective proportions on a stoat are probably 20, 75, and 5 (at least, when the legs are not fully extended and are counted with the main body) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
The tapir had a length of ~7 stoats and a weight of over 2000 stoats! It's a funny metric that produces small numbers in one category and large ones in another, particularly with large animals like seals that tend to be round and dense #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM bsky.app/profile/stoa...
that's a difference of 6.19 stoatweights and 0.15 stoatlengths (this discrepancy is due to stoats being long & not weighing very much) #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
March 21, 2025 at 12:54 AM
The tapir had a length of ~7 stoats and a weight of over 2000 stoats! It's a funny metric that produces small numbers in one category and large ones in another, particularly with large animals like seals that tend to be round and dense #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM bsky.app/profile/stoa...
5.88 stoatlengths, same weight #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
March 21, 2025 at 12:48 AM
5.88 stoatlengths, same weight #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
4.41 stoatlengths, and a weight of 455 stoats #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
March 21, 2025 at 12:45 AM
4.41 stoatlengths, and a weight of 455 stoats #StoatsAsMeasurement #2025MMM
yeah I had to break out the kilostoats on that one
March 20, 2025 at 3:44 AM
yeah I had to break out the kilostoats on that one