Still Rolling Outdoors
@stillrollingout.stillrollingoutdoors.com
Chronic illness life: nature-guided nervous system work and trauma recovery. Pacing and living with Lupus, RA, POTS. Hiking, fishing, riding. Blog + video. Still rolling.
I used to carry everything. Not just diagnoses or pain, but the invisible weight. Hypervigilance dressed up as “prepared.” Survival habits that stayed long after danger passed. Out here, I’m learning what’s actually mine to carry.
#Trauma #NervousSystem #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth
#Trauma #NervousSystem #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth
December 10, 2025 at 2:07 AM
I used to carry everything. Not just diagnoses or pain, but the invisible weight. Hypervigilance dressed up as “prepared.” Survival habits that stayed long after danger passed. Out here, I’m learning what’s actually mine to carry.
#Trauma #NervousSystem #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth
#Trauma #NervousSystem #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth
If you’re easing into Saturday, here’s a moment from the trail that reminded me what listening to the body looks like.
Mile three, my body hit a wall—not fatigue, a hard stop. So I sat. Breath deepened. Spin slowed. Static in my chest settled.
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
Mile three, my body hit a wall—not fatigue, a hard stop. So I sat. Breath deepened. Spin slowed. Static in my chest settled.
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
December 6, 2025 at 3:39 PM
If you’re easing into Saturday, here’s a moment from the trail that reminded me what listening to the body looks like.
Mile three, my body hit a wall—not fatigue, a hard stop. So I sat. Breath deepened. Spin slowed. Static in my chest settled.
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
Mile three, my body hit a wall—not fatigue, a hard stop. So I sat. Breath deepened. Spin slowed. Static in my chest settled.
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
December 4, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Some days six miles. Some days I can barely stand. The contradiction used to eat at me... Proof I was doing it wrong. Now I know: both are real. Both are responding to what's true.
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
December 4, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Some days six miles. Some days I can barely stand. The contradiction used to eat at me... Proof I was doing it wrong. Now I know: both are real. Both are responding to what's true.
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
Three days grinding up steep trails with a heavy pack. Those moments of reclaimed aliveness felt worth it. Day four? My body clearly said "hey jackass, you're done." Payment for stealing back some vitality. Was it worth it? Hell yes.
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
December 3, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Three days grinding up steep trails with a heavy pack. Those moments of reclaimed aliveness felt worth it. Day four? My body clearly said "hey jackass, you're done." Payment for stealing back some vitality. Was it worth it? Hell yes.
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
I wasn't in the mood for human contact. I'd broken wide open on the way to the trailhead. But when she asked if I wanted to pick blackberries, something told me not to say no.
I wasn't prepared for what that yes would give me.
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #Connection #Unexpected
I wasn't prepared for what that yes would give me.
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #Connection #Unexpected
November 30, 2025 at 9:43 PM
I wasn't in the mood for human contact. I'd broken wide open on the way to the trailhead. But when she asked if I wanted to pick blackberries, something told me not to say no.
I wasn't prepared for what that yes would give me.
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #Connection #Unexpected
I wasn't prepared for what that yes would give me.
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #Connection #Unexpected
November 28, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I used to think I had to deserve rest. If I hadn't worked hard enough, moved enough, achieved enough—I didn't qualify.
Rest isn't a reward. It's a necessity.
The leaves didn't care that I wasn't hiking. I was allowed to stop.
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #ChronicPain #SelfCare
Rest isn't a reward. It's a necessity.
The leaves didn't care that I wasn't hiking. I was allowed to stop.
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #ChronicPain #SelfCare
November 27, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I used to think I had to deserve rest. If I hadn't worked hard enough, moved enough, achieved enough—I didn't qualify.
Rest isn't a reward. It's a necessity.
The leaves didn't care that I wasn't hiking. I was allowed to stop.
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #ChronicPain #SelfCare
Rest isn't a reward. It's a necessity.
The leaves didn't care that I wasn't hiking. I was allowed to stop.
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #ChronicPain #SelfCare
I almost didn’t go. Flare rising, body stiff, everything too much. But the short loop held me—a quarter mile of moss, familiar woods, one hawk, soft light. Sometimes small motions can be real victories.
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #AccessibleHiking #NatureHealing
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #AccessibleHiking #NatureHealing
November 25, 2025 at 1:56 AM
I almost didn’t go. Flare rising, body stiff, everything too much. But the short loop held me—a quarter mile of moss, familiar woods, one hawk, soft light. Sometimes small motions can be real victories.
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #AccessibleHiking #NatureHealing
#ChronicIllness #Spoonie #AccessibleHiking #NatureHealing
There's a moment the body gives up pretending. When it can't push anymore, can't fake wellness, can't outrun the ache. That's where I started walking again—not for steps, not for strength, but to remember I was still in here.
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
November 24, 2025 at 2:32 AM
There's a moment the body gives up pretending. When it can't push anymore, can't fake wellness, can't outrun the ache. That's where I started walking again—not for steps, not for strength, but to remember I was still in here.
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
#ChronicIllness #Hiking #Healing
November 23, 2025 at 10:25 PM
from earlier in the morning
November 22, 2025 at 8:05 PM
from earlier in the morning
November 22, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Six days off trail from a flare that shut everything down. Two years ago I would’ve spent those days in a mental autopsy—What did I do wrong? This time: no self-blame, no spiral. Just the quiet return.
#ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #Disability
#ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #Disability
November 20, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Six days off trail from a flare that shut everything down. Two years ago I would’ve spent those days in a mental autopsy—What did I do wrong? This time: no self-blame, no spiral. Just the quiet return.
#ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #Disability
#ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #Disability
Self-abandonment isn't moral failure. It's a reflex you learned when your needs were unsafe. You went silent. You made yourself smaller. It kept you alive. Now those same strategies quietly undermine you in ways you can't always see.
#Healing #ChronicIllness #TraumaHealing
#Healing #ChronicIllness #TraumaHealing
November 17, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Self-abandonment isn't moral failure. It's a reflex you learned when your needs were unsafe. You went silent. You made yourself smaller. It kept you alive. Now those same strategies quietly undermine you in ways you can't always see.
#Healing #ChronicIllness #TraumaHealing
#Healing #ChronicIllness #TraumaHealing
I picked three things when I had nothing left:
Sleep. Food that didn't hurt. Movement that didn't break me.
Not self-care. Self-preservation.
The minimum is sacred.
#ChronicIllness #NervousSystem #Healing
Sleep. Food that didn't hurt. Movement that didn't break me.
Not self-care. Self-preservation.
The minimum is sacred.
#ChronicIllness #NervousSystem #Healing
November 15, 2025 at 3:42 PM
I picked three things when I had nothing left:
Sleep. Food that didn't hurt. Movement that didn't break me.
Not self-care. Self-preservation.
The minimum is sacred.
#ChronicIllness #NervousSystem #Healing
Sleep. Food that didn't hurt. Movement that didn't break me.
Not self-care. Self-preservation.
The minimum is sacred.
#ChronicIllness #NervousSystem #Healing
The forest knows: rest isn't failure. It's preparation for what comes next.
#Nature #Healing #ChronicIllness
#Nature #Healing #ChronicIllness
November 13, 2025 at 5:23 PM
The forest knows: rest isn't failure. It's preparation for what comes next.
#Nature #Healing #ChronicIllness
#Nature #Healing #ChronicIllness
a little later in the morning
November 10, 2025 at 2:36 PM
a little later in the morning
November 9, 2025 at 7:41 PM
November 7, 2025 at 12:56 AM
November 6, 2025 at 10:39 PM