Afro Cuts, Bankstown: “We specialise in African hairstyles.”

Nazar Men’s Haircuts, Parramatta: “The boys are always coming in and asking for that fresh fade.”

The Lid Doctor, Surry Hills: “Our clientele is native English speakers who understand idioms.”

Today I asked my nephew to guess how old I am and he said 38.

I’m 31. 💀

We need a word for the people you only see once a year because of a specific friend’s annual birthday event.

Macca’s and Frango do the only good shoestring fries in Sydney. Everywhere else is garbage.

I have a bone to pick with people who ask to sample multiple gelato flavours when the shop is heaving with customers. Maybe brain freeze is a cure for some.

I thought having a service every four minutes on the Sydney Metro would eliminate the frustration of missing your train by a matter of seconds. And, yet, some bozo stood directly in the middle of the escalator which prevented me from making a dash for the doors. The rage… it rages on.

Almond croissant refrigerated for 24 hours is accidental baklava.