Sometimes I think to myself: Steve, that vasectomy was the best thing you ever made the government pay for... And then I think to myself... I'm glad I got that before they took away Medicare... Anyway, if you're a hot lady reading this and you don't want to get pregnant: HMU.
June 4, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Sometimes I think to myself: Steve, that vasectomy was the best thing you ever made the government pay for... And then I think to myself... I'm glad I got that before they took away Medicare... Anyway, if you're a hot lady reading this and you don't want to get pregnant: HMU.
2 dudes on the bus
#1: So which daughter do you love more? The Pro-Israel one or the Pro-Palestine one?
#2: The one with the bigger byeuwbs.
#1: (Laughs)
Me: 🤢
#1: So which daughter do you love more? The Pro-Israel one or the Pro-Palestine one?
#2: The one with the bigger byeuwbs.
#1: (Laughs)
Me: 🤢
May 26, 2025 at 1:48 PM
2 dudes on the bus
#1: So which daughter do you love more? The Pro-Israel one or the Pro-Palestine one?
#2: The one with the bigger byeuwbs.
#1: (Laughs)
Me: 🤢
#1: So which daughter do you love more? The Pro-Israel one or the Pro-Palestine one?
#2: The one with the bigger byeuwbs.
#1: (Laughs)
Me: 🤢
Who feels ready to kiss*
*Their butts goodbye
*Their butts goodbye
March 27, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Who feels ready to kiss*
*Their butts goodbye
*Their butts goodbye
Do any of you anyone want to make out* with me?
*A plan to escape this country
*A plan to escape this country
March 27, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Do any of you anyone want to make out* with me?
*A plan to escape this country
*A plan to escape this country
How to tell this is AI:
1. Elon doesn't have 2 left feet, he has 2 goat hooves
2. The man in the background isn't vomiting from the smell
3. Donald's hands are the correct size for a normal human, they should be 3x smaller
4. Where is Elon's kid? He would be there getting the same action from Don Jr
1. Elon doesn't have 2 left feet, he has 2 goat hooves
2. The man in the background isn't vomiting from the smell
3. Donald's hands are the correct size for a normal human, they should be 3x smaller
4. Where is Elon's kid? He would be there getting the same action from Don Jr
February 25, 2025 at 12:05 AM
How to tell this is AI:
1. Elon doesn't have 2 left feet, he has 2 goat hooves
2. The man in the background isn't vomiting from the smell
3. Donald's hands are the correct size for a normal human, they should be 3x smaller
4. Where is Elon's kid? He would be there getting the same action from Don Jr
1. Elon doesn't have 2 left feet, he has 2 goat hooves
2. The man in the background isn't vomiting from the smell
3. Donald's hands are the correct size for a normal human, they should be 3x smaller
4. Where is Elon's kid? He would be there getting the same action from Don Jr
Federal Employees are making a huge mistake suing over Elon Musk's demand that they explain their accomplishments when they could prank him by replying with accomplishments he can't do like: I'm able to go a day without taking enough ketamine to kill 3 elephants, or
February 24, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Federal Employees are making a huge mistake suing over Elon Musk's demand that they explain their accomplishments when they could prank him by replying with accomplishments he can't do like: I'm able to go a day without taking enough ketamine to kill 3 elephants, or
February: Luigi Mangioni is in court with ankle shackles and a bullet proof vest
March: All the hot girlies are wearing ankle shackles and bullet proof vests.
March: All the hot girlies are wearing ankle shackles and bullet proof vests.
February 22, 2025 at 2:53 AM
February: Luigi Mangioni is in court with ankle shackles and a bullet proof vest
March: All the hot girlies are wearing ankle shackles and bullet proof vests.
March: All the hot girlies are wearing ankle shackles and bullet proof vests.
I ordered pulled bbq chicken and I can't tell if the bartender's face was because it's no good or cuz I called it pulled cock.
February 21, 2025 at 11:35 PM
I ordered pulled bbq chicken and I can't tell if the bartender's face was because it's no good or cuz I called it pulled cock.
Has anyone tried crop-dusting CPAC?
February 21, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Has anyone tried crop-dusting CPAC?
How dumb is that failed politician who went after Selena Gomez? Who would is stupid enough to go after Selena Gomez? We all see what she did to Justin Bieber.
January 30, 2025 at 12:22 PM
How dumb is that failed politician who went after Selena Gomez? Who would is stupid enough to go after Selena Gomez? We all see what she did to Justin Bieber.
I was heading out from work to get my vasectomy and my co-worker asked me if I'm scared, and I went "yeah, of course I am. I'm scared of having kids"
January 22, 2025 at 8:52 PM
I was heading out from work to get my vasectomy and my co-worker asked me if I'm scared, and I went "yeah, of course I am. I'm scared of having kids"
I'm drinking an Armenian Brandy that takes like the answer to: what if shoelaces were sweet?
December 20, 2024 at 5:35 AM
I'm drinking an Armenian Brandy that takes like the answer to: what if shoelaces were sweet?
What do you think they're saying?
December 13, 2024 at 11:47 PM
What do you think they're saying?
MRW the sloppy toppy is extra sloppy
December 13, 2024 at 7:55 PM
MRW the sloppy toppy is extra sloppy
What they saying?
December 2, 2024 at 6:34 PM
What they saying?
Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away, this year to save me from years I'll give it to someone who understands the inescapable pull of capitalism and how it's destroying our humanity
December 1, 2024 at 7:49 PM
Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away, this year to save me from years I'll give it to someone who understands the inescapable pull of capitalism and how it's destroying our humanity
Something I learned from my Thanksgiving trip is that my mom and step dad talk to each other as their cats. Do you want to hear some of the conversations?
November 30, 2024 at 3:46 PM
Something I learned from my Thanksgiving trip is that my mom and step dad talk to each other as their cats. Do you want to hear some of the conversations?
I was watching a movie last night and one of the characters reminded me of my ex. I just started crying for the rest of Shrek.
November 29, 2024 at 11:03 PM
I was watching a movie last night and one of the characters reminded me of my ex. I just started crying for the rest of Shrek.
They say you can't see autism, but if that's true how come when I was a kid people would always go "is he was autistic"?
November 29, 2024 at 10:51 PM
They say you can't see autism, but if that's true how come when I was a kid people would always go "is he was autistic"?
MRW she says she used my bidet, but I can swear I never heard it turn on.
November 27, 2024 at 2:25 AM
MRW she says she used my bidet, but I can swear I never heard it turn on.
I want to start out by blaming whatever is going to get me cancelled from this app on my autism.
November 27, 2024 at 2:11 AM
I want to start out by blaming whatever is going to get me cancelled from this app on my autism.