Her entire life, so where is the compromise? How do I help her navigate this without shoving her into a little tiny box like I was? Any insight would be appreciated.

I’ve ever had all the way to my 30’s. I was never allowed to express feelings that I was having about anything. Little things, and especially not big things. It made me a “people pleaser” which has made me a doormat my entire life. That being said I also don’t want her to be in unnecessary conflict

When I entered this stage of development, my parents did everything in their power to make me more “palatable” to the general public. I was told “Not only should you not be feeling this way, but if you can’t help it then keep that to yourself.” That mindset has shaped almost every single interaction

So you’re INTJ